Saturday, February 13, 2010

Crazy Bitches

Leo Grin loves Grizzly Man because it's a conservative movie. After all, some stupid hippie environmentalist gets eaten by a bear. But here's something ridiculous:
Women — a gender known for, among other peculiarities, lavishing marriage proposals on serial killers — fell all over Treadwell, frequently buying his bear-expert shtick hook, line, and sinker. The lucky ones got to travel up to Alaska with him to ooh and ahh at the cute little bears up close. His last girlfriend, Amie Huguenard, met him at a lecture in Colorado, and being a highly educated liberal (master’s degree in molecular biology) made her perfectly suited to fall for lies and nonsense. For the folly of believing in his expertise she would die alongside him, her final screams captured on a video camera which she turned on just as the fatal attack commenced.
Lissen up ladies: when you clean your own house - that is, give up falling in love with serial killers and delusional nitwits - THEN AND ONLY THEN can you complain about us men being serial killers and delusional nitwits.

CASE CLOSED.

13 comments:

mikey said...

Ahem. Hello? Is this thing on?

Thank yew. This here's my essay on the topic of "Why I'm Smarter Than You".

Why I'm smarter than you. I am smarter than you because while you went to those colleges and schools and traveled and read books and wrote, I was working at a seven eleven and smoking weed.

That's why I'm smarter than you...

Smut Clyde said...

Women — a gender known for, among other peculiarities, lavishing marriage proposals on serial killers* — fell all over Treadwell [...]. The lucky ones got to travel up to Alaska with him to ooh and ahh at the cute little bears up close.

I only remember two girlfriends mentioned in Grizzly Man; Jewel Pavolak and Amie Huguenard. Perhaps I was not focussing on the right issues.

Timothy Treadwell came across as quite delusional, whose recollections of his past were tinged with histrionics. He wanted to identify himself with bears, but the trouble was that the actual behaviour of bears did not provide the right kind of image that he wanted to see himself as, so he had to project his own made-up model of bear personality upon them, just so he could see them as a metaphor for himself.**

In a parallel universe, he ended up writing movie reviews for Big Hollywood.
------------------------
* Female serial killers get marriage proposals from men, so this is not a good feature for gender discrimination.

** To be fair, a lot of popular ethology is just as bad. I'm thinking of the way wolf packs or baboon packs are often used in the media as metaphors for human behaviour, but to get across the right message of "human beings as naturally alpha / beta hierarchical", first we impose that structure on top of what wolves and baboons are *really* like. [/End rant]

Smut Clyde said...

Does the reviewer explain what is innately liberal about molecular biology?
Perhaps this is a 'humour' thing which I am not qualified to understand.

Substance McGravitas said...

Maybe molecular biologists never own guns or something.

Smut Clyde said...

Things like that would not happen if more people carried guns on campus.

tigris said...

Men — a gender known for, among other peculiarities, BEING EATEN BY BEARS NAMED CUPCAKE ...

Another Kiwi said...

Fuck him and his attempted abduction of Herzog. Herzog is Herzog and that is that.

Substance McGravitas said...

Probably doesn't know A MUSLIN DID THE SOUNDTRACK!!!

Smut Clyde said...

Being eaten by bears does seem to be a male weakness.

Another Kiwi said...

Oooh Leo Grin replied to me in teh comments. Saying that he is going to continue his abductions.
Crapping in ones nest is a viable survival trait for these people obviously

tigris said...

It is an inherently liberal pathology to imagine reality must conform to what one wants it to be rather than what it is.

As evidence, I submit the FACT that people who believe tax cuts always raise revenue never get eaten by bears. Get the government out of my park service!

Smut Clyde said...

Don't forget that other inherently liberal pathology -- trying to find out things about reality via science, rather than imagining it to conform to what one wants it to be.

Another Kiwi said...

Now my reply to Grin and his fuckwit friends is not being posted. I was very polite and didn't use one swear word. I must have too rude about Anerican Conservatives.