The Seal of Quallity

Christian Toto doesn't get it:

Here’s the scene: Bullock’s character is waiting in line to speak to someone about her new son Michael’s legal status.

Fed up, she cuts to the front of the line to ask a question:

“We have been sitting around here for over an hour and when I look around all I see are people shooting the bull and drinking coffee … who’s in charge here?”

The bemused woman behind the desk points to the wall, where a picture of Bush is hanging.

We’ve all been in long lines before, be it at the DMV or other governmental offices. And it doesn’t matter which party - or person - is occupying the White House at the moment.

So the joke makes no sense.

There used to be a regular joke-dissecting column like this in the National Lampoon. It was funny.

The Fatal Glass of Beer

The Bible: Objectively Pro-Furry

Watch Jacob use a goatskin to steal dad's blessing.

Failure

Michael Moore’s ‘Capitalism’ Flops: Even Liberals Stay Away in Droves
by John Nolte

After nearly two months in theaters and all the hype that normally surrounds a Michael Moore film — much of it free thanks to a fawning media, “Capitalism: A Love Story” has flopped. Production costs, advertising costs and whatever Michael Moore takes above the line makes spinning a measly $14.2 million theatrical haul into anything other than a flop impossible.

Note that foreign earnings have not been tallied yet except for some places where starving islanders fight over crabs to survive.

The Greatest 40 Seconds The Cinema Will Ever Produce

Turn the volume UP.



You can stop at 7:10: no punchline necessary.

ALSO.

UFO or Die:

A List

What I listen to most, according to iTunes at work (where my library went screwy about six months ago).

1. In The Club - 50 Cent
2. Paris 1919 - John Cale
3. Get To The Choppa - Austrian Death Machine
4. Rubber Baby Buggy Bumpers - Austrian Death Machine
5. Gimme All Your Lovin - ZZ Top
6. Screw You (Benny) - Austrian Death Machine
7. An Ending (Ascent) - Brian Eno With Daniel Lanois & Roger Eno
8. Loverman - Blossom Dearie
9. With Teeth - The Melvins
10. DJ_teds_techno_tubes - Paul Holcomb
11. Always Returning - Brian Eno
12. Electric Counterpoint, Part 3: Fast (feat. guitar: Pat Metheny) - Steve Reich
13. Cool Change - The Little River Band
14. Rags And Bones - Nomeansno
15. The Last Drop Of Morning Dew - The Flaming Lips
16. We Are So Fragile - Gary Numan
17. Chapter III - Killing Joke
18. Fra Diavolo - Laurel And Hardy
19. Cow - The Melvins
20. N-Sub Ulysses - Nation of Ulysses
21. A Man Is An Insect Is A Flame - Sun City Girls
22. Theme From "The Swaying Gardens Of The Apocalypsia" - Sun City Girls
23. Calling It Quits - Aimee Mann
24. She Said She Said - The Beatles
25. D. Feathers - Bettie Serveert

Water for Elephants

A book by Sara Gruen. Seven pages in and it seems like complete shit: the writing is TERRIBLE. It's grating to fear the arrival of the next cliché. Many of the one-star reviews at Google assure me that there's lotsa filth in it, which is reason to keep going, but I can't do it my friends.

You're Just a Tool of the Man

Via M. Bouffant, an article::

Marvel once owned the rights to the word zombie. As improbable as it sounds, Marvel attempted to trademark the word zombie in comic book titles after publishing Tale of the Zombie in 1973. By the time the trademark was approved two years later, the series was coming to an end. Marvel lost the trademark in 1996 but it wasn't long before it was once again trademarking the armies of the undead, registering the words Marvel Zombies to protect its comic series of the same name. With DC, Marvel also trademarked the phrase 'Super Hero'.

GET OUT OF MY HEAD

Glenn Reynolds, The Future Is NOW!

Fundamental change:

A man whose bowel was damaged in a motorcycle crash has been given a bionic bottom.