Monday, August 22, 2011

Congress

Totally-not-gay Eugene Delgaudio in an email to yours truly:
Yes, it's true, homosexual activists are riding high.

Homosexual "marriage" passed in New York; judges in Iowa threw out two hundred years of law and declared for homosexual marriage by fiat; a judge in California denies the vote of the people and declares homosexual marriage a "right"; and every day the drumbeat from the media and Hollywood culture is how good and normal homosexual sex is ... and how you and I are bigoted fools blinded by a false religion.


Now homosexual activists bang through the halls of Congress chortling with glee.
Dear Penthouse Forum:

I never thought having sex in the halls of Congress would happen to me and it won't as long as I am here in this closet. Please send more stories about first-time cocksucking.

(Apparently you can find the whole thing here. Myself, I am not clicking.)

16 comments:

Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

Yes, it's true, homosexual activists are riding high.

Bareback, too!

Smut Clyde said...

the drumbeat from the media

The drums are speaking, Bwana. The jungle drums from the Efe people. They bring a message... a message from Hollywood culture... a message that homosexual sex is good and normal. Bwana, the porters would like to leave this village now.

Dragon-King Wangchuck said...

I'm surprised that McGravitas turned out to be a bigoted fool blinded by false religion.

Shan't be back.

guitarist manqué said...

The drums are speaking, Bwana.

Oh Bwana, drums stop, bass solo begin!

vacuumslayer said...

I'm sorry, but these little scare banners are adorable. I mean, they look like banners soap fans make to show support for their favorite couples. (How do I know this? Shut the fuck up, that's how.)

Are these couples supposed to send me screaming out in the street in protest? I think they're pretty adorable. Maybe if they wanted to scare people they should have thought outside the box and had two guys in leather leiderhosen fisting each other. (I DON'T KNOW-- Y'ALL WORK OUT THE LOGISTICS!!!)

mikey said...

Y'know, I'm starting to get pissed off. I mean REAL pissed off.

I'm not a young man, and here I've lived decades under the apparently false belief that as a straight white male I was all the shit, and a bag of Doritos. I mean, we RUN this fucking operation, do we not? We get to pound on people who aren't straight, people who aren't white, and people who are neither. AND we get to eat first, and they have to eat our saliva-streaked leavings. And we get to use the flush toilets, and we get the good jobs while those fuckers have to pick lettuce or toil as interior decorators or such.

Now, in the autumn of my days, only NOW am I finding out that this tale was nothing but a lie, a fabrication to keep me down? Now they begin to let me see that I've been oppressed and discriminated against, kept out of the best clubs, the best jobs, the best buttholes. Only now do I begin to see a glimmering of how my life might have turned out had I been born Gay and Puerto Rican.

Dammit...

vacuumslayer said...

"Now they begin to let me see that I've been oppressed and discriminated against, kept out of the best clubs, the best jobs, the best buttholes."


This is unbuttlievably funny.


Holy fucking shit...w/v is "lifist"

Smut Clyde said...

kept out of the best clubs

And vice versa.

fish said...

Maybe if they wanted to scare people they should have thought outside the box and had two guys in leather leiderhosen fisting each other.

Tried that. Worked pretty well.

vacuumslayer said...

CINCI: LET ME SHOW YOU IT.

No, actually lived 45 minutes north of the place. All's I know is it's in one of the most conservative districts in Ohio. But--wow--I had no idea.... It sounds like a truly fucktarded city.

Substance McGravitas said...

I know they don't have pornography in Cincinnati because there is no internet there.

vacuumslayer said...

Silly, there's no need for pr0n when you can attend a suck and fuck fest at your local rest stop.

Substance McGravitas said...

You, like, have to leave the couch for those.

vacuumslayer said...

Why do you think you never see me there?!

M. Bouffant said...

The banners are keen.

Also worth the click:

Eugene Delgaudio, Public Advocate of The U.S.

Funny enough, but ...

Because Public Advocate of the U.S. is a nonprofit, charitable organization that fights the radical agenda of the Homosexual Lobby, contributions are not tax deductible for IRS purposes. This email was not produced or e-mailed at taxpayer expense. Public Advocate's phone number is (700) 845-1808, its address is 5613 Leesburg Pike, Suite 17 Falls Church, VA 22041, and its website is paracom.paramountcommunication.com/ct/6358990:9364105423:m:1:185721526:180B563273388A8F8DBD

mikey said...

Nice of them to tell all the angry hackers and script kiddies who care which port to block.

That's like, oh, hospitality or something...