Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Why Canada Rules

Michael Moriarty:
In 1994, when my protests fell lamely through the nets and sifters of the MSM and the Clintons were not only reelected ’96 but Janet Reno retained her post as Attorney General, I knew America was in for the longest spiritual bloodletting of her entire history.

Mankind’s last and greatest hope for continued individual freedom and responsibility, the United States of America, had been co-opted by the most cunning sabotage efforts in world history.

The Soviets and their KBG, ordered initially by Joseph Stalin to primarily infiltrate the “soft underbelly” of the American performing arts, had successfully turned Hollywood and New York into its very own propaganda machine.

The subsequent invasions of Washington D.C. and the White House by the increasingly radical Left became inevitable until we ended up with a President Barack Obama.

Thank God I left for Canada.
I feel so sad for those poor American slaves and their communist guarantees of free health care and education and full employment.

Oh wait, I was really looking for this one, which makes me shed tears for being so ridiculously innocent and happy-sounding.

Oh my god the lyrics:

(One little two little three Canadians)
We love thee
(Now we are twenty million)
(Four little five little six little Provinces)
Proud and free
(Now we are ten and the Territories sea to sea)

North south east west
There'll be happy times,
Church Bells will ring, ring, ring
It's the hundredth anniversary of
Ev'rybody sing together!

(French verse):
(Un petit, deux petits, trois Canadiens)
Notre pays
(Maintenant, nous sommes vingt million)
(Quatre petites, cinq petites, six petites provinces)
Longue vie
(Et nous sommes dix plus les Territoires; Longue vie)

(Second Chorus):
Rah! Vive le Canada!
Three cheers Hip, Hip, Hooray!
Le centenaire,
That's the order of the day
Frère Jacques Frère Jacques
Merilly we roll along
Together all the way

(Repeat second chorus)

Isn't that echo of one-little-two-little-three-little Indians sweet and totally non-racist?


ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

I didn't see a link, but the great gazoogle tells me it's at Andy Brightfart.

Anyways, hahaha!

Substance McGravitas said...


M. Bouffant said...

Don't give in to Thunder's weak unemployment-grabbing American gimme attitude. Make the bastards work for it!

Smut Clyde said...

Song goes well with the 10 Little Jagermeisters video.

Smut Clyde said...

Am I alone in wondering how something can "fall lamely" through a net? In free fall no-one can call you a gimp.

ckc (not kc) said...

... and why would you co-opt something you're just going to cunningly sabotage later? I guess only Stalin knows.

Substance McGravitas said...


vacuumslayer said...

Casa de Substance has me all confused. One entry has me all "I'm moving to Vancouver!" Amd then the next one is all "Michael Moriarty." What am I supposed to do?!!!!!

BTW, third place? I have nothing snarky to say: that's pretty fucking impressive.

Jennifer said...

Michael would feel better if he found himself a sparkly unicorn suit.

Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

Oh wait, I was really looking for this one, which makes me shed tears for being so ridiculously innocent and happy-sounding.

Innocent? Those multiplying little moppets are singing about their eventual takeover of the world:

(Now we are twenty million)

Soon we'll need "living space".

(Now we are ten and the Territories sea to sea)

Now we must shake off the shackles of our terretorial limitations!

I'll be hiding under the bed.

Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

Uh, I meant territorial... I blame Canada.

Substance McGravitas said...

We demand lebensnow.

ckc (not kc) said...


pfft! as I recall, Vancouver drivers can't even handle the snow they get now! (and don't even start on Victoria!)

comment pre-rated by w/v "datturki"

Substance McGravitas said...

But look at the hail ordeal!