Wednesday, August 10, 2011

Good Talk

Telepathic Ed has a picture-perfect old-man rant. No excerpting, it's too good as one block of prose poetry.

17 comments:

vacuumslayer said...

The vid made laugh out loud because it's just so damn weird. Wait...that old guy isn't you, is it?

I actually read the whole Ed thing.

Apparently not pro-war: good!
Apparently racist: not as good :(

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

Some stupid commenter at ed's place:

Getting your brains beaten into jelly is a lofty goal, while attaining the office of the Presidency isn't?

Ruff! Ruff! Meeow! oink! oink!

tigris said...

Ruff! Ruff! Meeow! oink! oink!

Ed knew that guy was going to say that.

Substance McGravitas said...

That might be Ed's second comment or something.

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

I hope he follows the link back to my joint. We don't have enough full-goose-bozo loonies over there.

vacuumslayer said...

Well. Clearly I've been wasting my time at your blog.

Dragon-King Wangchuck said...

Ultra tight on first edition cover so that you can only see the headshots. Slow pan out, book is lying a man's chest. He's lying down on a park bench, head turned away from camera.

Cut to Michael Bay style camera spin shot as Also Spach Zarathustra starts playing. Man stands up, it's Telepathic Ed (played by Clint Eastwood).

After music ends, the entire post is delivered as continuous monologue with no breaks. Camera continues spinning with occasional hard cuts to flashes of imagery from text (war scenes, unruly mobs, boxers, assorted black men, &c.) - slowly rising a la Johnny LaRue Crane Shot. Fade to black. The words "good talk" appear on screen, linger for a second, then also fade.

Roll credits.

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

Well. Clearly I've been wasting my time at your blog.

we usually don't count "wearing inappropriate footwear" as "full-goose-bozo loony" at the Empire.

vacuumslayer said...

I will have to work on my batshittery. I have lots of tapes of Michelle Bachmann--she will show me the way!!

Substance McGravitas said...

I think you need perpetually lubricating eyes to keep them open like that.

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

a video of VS walking up to a Man in The Street interview, wearing painful footgear and holding Golf Baby, and then VS making barnyard noises, would definitely qualify.

Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

Cut to Michael Bay style camera spin shot as Also Spach Zarathustra starts playing. Man stands up, it's Telepathic Ed (played by Clint Eastwood).

Camera? Ed will beam the images right into your brain!

WV's become sentient- "Pated"

Smut Clyde said...

I think you need perpetually lubricating eyes to keep them open like that.

Or a tongue long enough to lick the corneas clean in lieu of blinking.

Smut Clyde said...

Rant needs more parallax.

Smut Clyde said...

Wait...that old guy isn't you, is it?

It was very polite of Substance not to comment on resemblance between old dude and Herr Doktor Bimler.

vacuumslayer said...

I've seen a pic of you. There is no such resemblance...though I can totally see you making random animal noises.

Smut Clyde said...

I do not rate for farmyard impersonations. When the Doktorling was much smaller and I was expected to sing about Old MacDonald, his farm soon came to include daleks ("With EX-TER-MIN-ATE here and EX-TER-MIN-ATE there"), tribbles and Shuggoths.