Tuesday, August 9, 2011

Direct Pressure

CHANDLER, Ariz. — As Joshua Seto, 27, and his fiance, Cara Christopher, walked to a local grocery store last week for refreshments, he tried securing her pink handgun in the front waistband of his pants.

The gun fired, striking Seto's penis and continuing through his left thigh. The bleeding started immediately and was heavy, according to police dispatch recordings released Sunday.

"He is still conscious, there is just a lot of blood," Christopher, 26, told 911 operators and dispatchers when the accidental shooting occurred Tuesday.

One operator told Christopher to apply direct pressure to the wound with a dry towel or T-shirt, but to avoid looking at the wound.
There's a hole in my penis
Dear Cara dear Cara
There's a hole in my penis
Dear Cara a hole.

I mean, like, a new one.


mikey said...


OK. Lesson One: They have what's called "Inside the Pants Holsters". Soft material with a high coeffiecent of friction with a clip. Keeps you from having to fish around for it.

Lesson Two. If you don't have one, wrap a half dozen rubber bands around the grips. They'll help keep the gun from sliding down.

Lesson three. Hey, I'm as big a believer in condition one or "hot carry" as anyone - the more you have to do to make it go bang the worse off you are. But dood. C'mon. It's your freakin JUNK. Clear the chamber before you put it in your pants pointing at the only weenie you're ever gonna get issued. Unless you're, you know, finished with it. Forever. You can dig it out and chamber a round if you need to - and if you have to go in looking for it you can't accidently shoot your pecker off...

Substance McGravitas said...

Is that nearly nothing in your pants or are you unhappy to see me? Oh, YOU'RE the guy who shot his cock off.

Smut Clyde said...

My extreme body-mod image gallery, let me show you it.

M. Bouffant said...


Ha ha.

I know I never walk to the store w/o being strapped.

I'd imagine a pink handgun to be relatively small weapon. No pockets in the ninny's pants?

vacuumslayer said...

Smut is trying to trigger me.

Also: OUCH.

Dragon-King Wangchuck said...

I think teh most horrific part is that he was still conscious.

When 911 tells you to avoid looking at the wound you know you're in trouble.

Also, a double through and through! He managed four holes with one bullet! That's got to be worth some kind of prize.

tigris said...

Seriously, 4 holes? Did he fold his manhood, or just coil it?

truculentandunreliable said...

I, for one, am saddened that such a brilliant specimen of humanity has been rendered unable to reproduce by the cruel hand of fate.

Smut Clyde said...

911 tells you to avoid looking at the wound

Wooses. Girls-blouses. Here in NZ the emergency-service operator tells you to get a REALLY GOOD squint at the wound, because it's not often you'll have a chance to see your own bones and internal organs so you might as well make the most of it.

M. Bouffant said...

Click the link again for an update, in which some cop advises Murkins not to stuff guns in their trousers.

Smut Clyde said...

ZRM's true identity stands revealed.