Tuesday, June 15, 2010

The Librariation of Women

Recent advances in Russian university beauty contest technology have brought us the Sexy Librarian sub-event.



No innovations were seen in the boxing competition, although progress in plush-toy durability made the teddy-bear teddy-mouse cuddling less disastrous than in past years. Well done technicians.

Here is the measure of post-soviet freedom:

28 comments:

Smut Clyde said...

Now I am all agog to see the teddy-bear-cuddling disasters from previous years. Did they make the classic blunder of making up for the shortage of plush toys by using a real bear?

Mendacious D said...

There is a distinct lack of chessboxing in that competition.

Did they make the classic blunder of making up for the shortage of plush toys by using a real bear?

In Soviet Russia, bear hugs you!

Substance McGravitas said...

There is a distinct lack of chessboxing in that competition.

It was displaced by witchcraft.

Smut Clyde said...

distinct lack of chessboxing
Do not make me scan & upload whole pages of Cold Equator.

mikey said...

I am regularly saddened as I gaze across the smoldering wreckage of my life and face the unbearable realization that I will NEVER, EVER, no matter how diligently I work, EVER know as much useless crap as Herr Bimler...

Smut Clyde said...

In God's Great Venn Diagram, there may well be a significant overlap between "circle of McGravitas commenters" and "circle of Bilal fans".

Marita said...

That's totally a mouse, not a bear. I think we should call it *Mikey* Mouse.

Substance McGravitas said...

My god! INACCURACY ON THE INTERNET!

mikey said...

I do not hesitate to state that if that girl would cuddle me as she does that bear, I would be willing to follow her edicts, even if it meant overthrowing governments, assaulting bunkers and executing prisoners. I exist only to serve....

fish said...

Cheesesteak Boxing is alive and well though.

Rusty Shackleblart said...

It is always saddening to realize I am not smart enough to comment meaningfully here.

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

It is always saddening to realize I am not smart enough to comment meaningfully here.

Like that stops anyone else.

Substance McGravitas said...

Really. And HELLO, BEAUTY CONTEST POST.

Substance McGravitas said...

Any why the hell haven't I put them in a ЗОРБ or something?

mikey said...

Whoa. You're supposed to be SMART here? I thought that was Bimler's job!

Dammit....

Substance McGravitas said...

You're supposed to be SMART here?

"Smurf" will do.

Smut Clyde said...

Like that stops anyone else.
Not sure if ZRM refers to the 'smart' part or the 'meaningfully'.

Another Kiwi said...

Look I'm not going to be barred from posting just because I'm too stupid. That is censawship!!!

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

Not sure if ZRM refers to the 'smart' part or the 'meaningfully'.

your brains will be judged by which one you choose.

Choose wisely.

mikey said...

Thought you were on the Lakefront, drinking american lager and having se with large breasted american rock n roll chicks.

What. Are you finding it all too much?

mikey said...

That would be 'SEX'.

The 'X' key on this computer is unreliable. Alanis would say it's Ironic...

mikey said...

Hey Zomb!

Be sure and send off live updates from the Justin Bieber show.

'Cause, you know, pervert...

Mendacious D said...

ZRM's love for Canadian music has some disturbingly dark corners.

Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

Miss Kamchatka (thanks, Risk!) can see Alaska from her house.

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

Thought you were on the Lakefront, drinking american lager and having se with large breasted american rock n roll chicks.

starts on the 24th, friend. I will have the iPhone, though, so I WILL BE KEEPING AN EYE ON YOU ALL!

Be sure and send off live updates from the Justin Bieber show.

Now THAT hurt.

FWIW, I do have tix for the ZZTop/ Tom Petty show....

And Devo is there. They played a new song on Colbert last night that was EXCELLENT.

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

ZRM's love for Canadian music has some disturbingly dark corners.

As do most other aspects of my life.

Substance McGravitas said...

Mark Mothersbaugh was once very complimentary to my old band, which was nice and wholly unnecessary.

He is short. Also makes neat books.

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

He is short.

So is Matthew Sweet. And Eric Bloom, for that matter.

I think there may be a pattern here...