Great Presidential Drunks

Kevin McCullough's working the Rush beat, as am I:

President Barack Obama, who has a tendency to stick himself into the middle of racially biased conflicts that are of essentially no importance, owes that courtesy to one that captured national headlines for nearly a week. In understanding the vital importance of genuine issues of equality in a post racial (a.k.a. "Obamian") age, he owes it to the NFL, DeMaurice Smith, Donovan McNabb, Jennifer Lopez, Serena Williams, Fergie, and Ja Rule to invite them, along with Rush Limbaugh, to come enjoy a beer on the White House lawn with he and that Vice President of his.

That's a lotta drinkin', all to resolve, um, what problem?

Also, once it is revealed that the primary force behind the attack on Rush Limbaugh was in fact a former Obama campaign aide, and now high ranking official with the NFL Player's Association named DeMaurice Smith, the President would necessarily be forced to disassociate himself from him a la William Ayers and Jeremiah Wright.

Also! Eric Holder was lurking in the coffee shop. Okay, on to the issue:

But one topic of conversation that would actually be helpful to everyone watching, for no doubt CNN and MSNBC would provide non-stop coverage (or make it up out of thin air) of it (or make it up out of thin air) as the most important event in human history, would be: "Why are openly racist, divisive, and vulgar people allowed to be owners in the NFL, while one other man who has no history of racism whatsoever is prevented from it?"

That is a very good question if asked in some alternate reality regarding the NFL shunning Jesus.

The rest of the column is about how Kevin McCullough is deaf.

Regardless of the foregoing, the PRESIDENT HAS DECIDED HOW FOOTBALL WILL BE. Salaam, gentlemen.