Sunday, October 18, 2009

Great Presidential Drunks

Kevin McCullough's working the Rush beat, as am I:
President Barack Obama, who has a tendency to stick himself into the middle of racially biased conflicts that are of essentially no importance, owes that courtesy to one that captured national headlines for nearly a week. In understanding the vital importance of genuine issues of equality in a post racial (a.k.a. "Obamian") age, he owes it to the NFL, DeMaurice Smith, Donovan McNabb, Jennifer Lopez, Serena Williams, Fergie, and Ja Rule to invite them, along with Rush Limbaugh, to come enjoy a beer on the White House lawn with he and that Vice President of his.
That's a lotta drinkin', all to resolve, um, what problem?
Also, once it is revealed that the primary force behind the attack on Rush Limbaugh was in fact a former Obama campaign aide, and now high ranking official with the NFL Player's Association named DeMaurice Smith, the President would necessarily be forced to disassociate himself from him a la William Ayers and Jeremiah Wright.
Also! Eric Holder was lurking in the coffee shop. Okay, on to the issue:
But one topic of conversation that would actually be helpful to everyone watching, for no doubt CNN and MSNBC would provide non-stop coverage (or make it up out of thin air) of it (or make it up out of thin air) as the most important event in human history, would be: "Why are openly racist, divisive, and vulgar people allowed to be owners in the NFL, while one other man who has no history of racism whatsoever is prevented from it?"
That is a very good question if asked in some alternate reality regarding the NFL shunning Jesus.

The rest of the column is about how Kevin McCullough is deaf.

Regardless of the foregoing, the PRESIDENT HAS DECIDED HOW FOOTBALL WILL BE. Salaam, gentlemen.

13 comments:

mikey said...

Ahhh.

So it's OBAMA who's responsible for outlawing a real wedge and that ridiculous "brady rule".

So he's turning the great american sport of football into SOCIALIST football - SOCCER!!

He MUST be stopped...

Substance McGravitas said...

Ho ho, mikey, do not fear. You clearly have not tried the tasty lamb skewers currently available in all NFL stadiums after prayers.

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

I'd like to see a little scrimmage between Limbaugh and Donovan McNabb, actually.

I'll handle the beer.

herr doktor bimler said...

the President would necessarily be forced to disassociate himself from him a la William Ayers and Jeremiah Wright.

If Obama were consistent he would drag himself into the NFL imbroglio and injure himself politically, and his failure to do so is NOT FAIR.

the tasty lamb skewers currently available in all NFL stadiums after prayers.

Stop dodging the REAL ISSUES, Mr McGravitas -- is the no-alcohol beer any good?

mikey said...

is the no-alcohol beer any good?

Oxy meet moron.

9 out of 10 sister-kissers recommend "Fizzle", Islam's favorite lager...

J— said...

I'm having trouble understanding how conflicts can be racially biased. Also, what does J-Lo have to do with this? Marc Anthony needs to know.

J— said...

An important distinction: the thing about Holder is true. He lurked before and he will lurk again.

Substance McGravitas said...

Where did I see this Palestinian brewery story first? Shouldn't count as the proprietors are Christian, but what the heck.

Another Kiwi said...

In my tireless search for the TRUTH!! I looked around for the proof of Mr. Smith being in the hip pocket of Mr. President Great Satan, sir. And I found this about him.
Please be seated as I reveal to you....Mr. Smith is a Black Person and a lawyer. Apparently this means that the American legal system has been taken over by Liberals. You may choose to ignore this but Consider this. Smith worked for a legal firm that has offices in Washington. He gave money to the Democrats!!
If you want to save your country from drunken black socialists it is time to make some tea!!!

Substance McGravitas said...

If you want to save your country from drunken black socialists it is time to make some tea!!!

Offer coffee and you get Eric Holder with it.

ckc (not kc) said...

If you want to save your country from drunken black socialists it is time to make some tea!!!

...surely this means:

1. it is always time to make some tea

or

2. it is never time to make some tea

(coffee sounds good - I'll stick to the shiraz)

Anonymous said...

Do you want to save your country from drunken black socialists?

If YES: Make some tea.
If NO: Go to page 116.

fish said...

I want to save the country for drunken black socialists. Know any?