Thursday, October 29, 2009

Peeing Forever

Will the pluuuuuurp never cease?
Pissing on Jesus: Hollywood Hates Us Exhibit 11,567
by John Nolte

“Larry David would never do this to Muslims. He doesn’t have the guts.”

That’s missing the point.

Hypocrisy or a fear of how some wacko extremist might react has nothing to do with this. Hollywood constantly singles out Christians for cruel ridicule and the worst kind of stereotyping for one simple reason…

They hate us.

They hate our guts.

There’s nothing more complicated to this question than that.
As usual, the punchline is self-supplied:
Anger puts cruel thoughts in your head. Hate’s the fuel required to take you across the finish line.
Further own-goalage comes via our watchman Burt Prelutsky. Who is watching the watchman? Me:
A while ago, I wrote a piece titled “Blowing the Whistle on Waxman.” In case you missed it, I explained that Henry Waxman and I had been friends beginning almost 50 years ago at UCLA.
That piece was a "When I knew the guy he did THIS! HA!" kind of thing. Turns out Henry wrote back, and Burt quotes him:
“As I recall our poker friendship, you used to keep a card with every cent I ever lost to you to be sure you were paid. When you sent out a letter pleading for your friends to help you out at a difficult financial time in your life, you promised that you would repay every cent. I sent you $100. I never asked you for the money, nor have you offered to repay it. I did not want to embarrass you then or now. But since you have no hesitation to try to publicly hold me up to scorn, I see no reason not to ask you to repay your debt to me. I would like to use that money to donate to the ACLU or some other group that will defend your rights, along with everyone else, to free speech and other Constitutional protections. Sincerely, Henry Waxman.”
Naturally there's some kooky ranting about ACORN surrounding this stuff, but one would think that for a conservative allowing yourself to be portrayed as a begging welcher is a no-no. (Can't imagine why Townhall dropped him.) Burt differs on what the card was really for - he sez Waxman was unreliable at paying back money - but says he'll pay Waxman back.

It's so sad.

The Tempest-Tossed Teapot

19 comments:

Another Kiwi said...

No Christians, it is the boy down the road who hates your guts. He called you doo-doo heads and said your butts smell. I would suggest
1) Run inside and hide behind the couch
2)Cry until Mommy comes to see what you are doing
3)In your prayers, condemn that boy to eternity in Hell.

herr doktor bimler said...

Anger puts cruel thoughts in your head.
Not so! The responsible parties are in fact the neighbours across the road, who put cruel thoughts in my head by controlling the power supply and polluting my immediate electrical environment.

M. Bouffant said...

"I was a liberal like FDR until Henry Waxman loaned me money & I didn't repay him. Now I are not one."

And Mr. Substance Abuse, please do not post moving images of red, white & black teapots being forcibly pulled across the dimensions this close to my annual Hallowe'en acid trip. It could trigger me, & I'd need an emedic afterwards

Rusty Shackleford said...

Did anybody in the comments point out that the joke wouldn't have worked if it had been Muslim-themed?

Substance McGravitas said...

They're up in the hundreds now, so maybe so.

mikey said...

God is a mystical, all powerful, all knowing entity who made the heavens and the earth and all the creatures of the universe. He is both the bringer of light and the giver of life.

Umm, unless you pee on him. He really doesn't like that. Creeps him out - it's like his kryptonite. He's all "EEEWWWWWWW, you got your nasty pee all on my robes and shit, me dammit!"

Substance McGravitas said...

He does like showing his ass off.

Another Kiwi said...

Mikey brings up the interesting theological point of "How would God blaspheme?" It would have to be seen as self deprecation and thus be an anathema to the Godheads.Thus their walnuts brains would rupture.

tigrismus said...

Could God create a blasphemy so heinous he couldn't forgive himself?

Rusty Shackleford said...

Is the title of this post a reference to the Orwell quote?

Substance McGravitas said...

Is the title of this post a reference to the Orwell quote?

No, I'm not that smart. It just seemed to me that the New Piss Christ Controversy is taking as long to wind up as an adult's piss break seemed when I was six years old.

herr doktor bimler said...

moving images of red, white & black teapots being forcibly pulled across the dimensions

Teapot reminds me of some of Nam June Paik's more hyper-kinetic video collages.

He does like showing his ass off.

It is more that the glory of his face is such as to burn out our puny mortal eyes, whereas his arse is less glorious and can safely be shown to the likes of Moses in the days before protective goggles were available. This is why Jesus is depicted with only a single halo, rather than having a secondary nimbus hovering above his buttocks.

Substance McGravitas said...

The teapot is a tribute to the earliest computer animations. And, uh, it's a module in Quartz Composer.

Another Kiwi said...

I'm just saying that if ones deity appeared before one talking through their arse, it might dent one's belief. Especially if it was fart talking and how else could it be?

Substance McGravitas said...

Goatse God accomodates all.

mikey said...

Heh heh.

"Godse"

Brendan said...

I have to think Nolte's real "Here is your mission, Wolverines!" line was this one:

Some might even think, ”I should produce a YouTube of me pissing on Hollywood’s god – Barack Obama!” Which wouldn’t be a difficult or expensive thing to do in this digital age.

Watch for it on PJTV!

Substance McGravitas said...

That'd be pretty funny in itself. I encourage the Wolverines to hold themselves a pee party and watch the incontinent flock to the cause.

mikey said...

That's IT!!!

NOW I finally understand what the whole "Wingnut in a Wetsuit" deal was all about!