Tuesday, September 14, 2010

White Male Indexing

Over at the zombie's place AG has discovered a dating site having fun with statistics in an effort to embarrass us all. And embarrassed we are.

Of 50 things that their sample of white males like, here is what has made or currently makes me white.

White Male Interests Past Enjoyment Measurable Current Shit-Giving
van halen 1
the big lebowski 1 1
soundgarden 1
brew 1 1
boating 1
groundhog day 1
hockey 1
blazing saddles 1
megadeth 1
ccr 1 1
robert heinlein 1
skiing 1
zappa 1
nascar 1
software 1 1
the hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy 1 1
coen brothers 1 1
tenacious d 1 1
mostly rock 1
queens of the stone age 1
a few beers 1
apocalypse now 1 1
most sports 1
guitar 1 1

24 10

x2 and I have been 48% white over the course of my life and now am a weak and tepid 20% white. Please do away with me by driving a jeep over my head.

White males outside North America suffer less humiliation, but they don't matter anyway. Counting beer twice makes sense.


ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

No Killdozer?

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

groundhog day seems like an odd holiday to have such a fervent white-guy fanbase.

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

also, your chang in status on zappa will cause thunder and Willy to come down on you like a ton of bricks.

Substance McGravitas said...

I've asked for a jeep. What's that, a quarter ton?

NutellaonToast said...

I like a few of those things, but I think only hockey and the big lebowski have a shot at making my online dating profile. Prolly not hockey, these days. Does that mean I'm self loathing white or that I'm dying to date a black chick?

Substance McGravitas said...

Oh, well, in a dating profile...um...nearly STD free?

M. Bouffant said...

Dating Profile Protip: Crabs aren't a "real" STD.