Saturday, September 4, 2010

Pounds of Flush

Old news, but interestingly put:
Fake Journalist Completes Excretion of Hard Drugs
12 September 2007

Lagos — A Fake journalist, Mr Muoka Uzochukwu Anthony, arrested by the National Drug Law Enforcement Agency (NDLEA) on September 2, 2007, for ingesting hard drugs has excreted a total of 76 wraps of cocaine, weighing 1.254 kilogrammes.

Muoka pretended to be a journalist with a fake Nigerian Television Authority (NTA) identity card, so as to have easy passage through the airport, but his journey to London terminated at the Murtala Mohammed International Airport (MMIA) office of the NDLEA, where he was placed on observation to enable him empty his bowels of the hard drugs that he had intended to take to London.
Live broadcast I hope. Imagine the suspense!


mikey said...

Holy CRAP!


I mean, as you get older, well, let's just say some mornings are better than others. But one and a quarter KILOS of POOP? Good gawd.

Dood. Load up on the metamucil, stool softener and even so, you're gonna cry like a little girl.


Substance McGravitas said...

I wonder if he knew how many individual bags he'd swallowed and could count them down.

mikey said...

I've bought crank that smelled like diesel and cocaine that smelled like coffee, but if somebody tried to sell me some shit that smelled, well, like SHIT, I think I'd pass...

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

All the news that's fit to poop!

Smut Clyde said...

cocaine that smelled like coffee

How do you feel about coffee that smells like civet poo?

Then there is beer than smells like coffee that smells like civet poo.