Monday, January 25, 2010

Lessons in Diagnosis

What's Burt Prelutsky up to?
Burt’s Eye View: Leftist Pathology — Carbon More Dangerous Than Terrorists by Burt Prelutsky

Over the last few years, I have lost friends and become estranged from relatives because of politics.
Huh. Don't get why that might be.
If you’re convinced, as I am, that Barack Obama is the greatest menace America has ever faced — a far graver danger than Nazi Germany, the Soviet Union or Islamic fascism, simply because they all lacked the ability or determination to destroy our Constitution — losing a few friends and relatives is no big deal.
Oh. There we go. Burt is completely bananas. And look:
Psychiatrists are forever seeking the cause and cure of various diseases. They have focused on everything from paranoia to schizophrenia and clinical depression, but I think it’s high time they turned their attention to liberalism. It’s far more prevalent than those other mental disorders, and it appears to be particularly rampant among journalists, lawyers, union leaders and academics. Blacks, Jews and the young, are especially susceptible. And for reasons not entirely clear, it seems to strike hardest at people who reside near the Atlantic and Pacific oceans. So perhaps salt water plays a part in it.
Yes, the people you're scared of and think are Nazis and commies have some sort of mental problem. Well done.

15 comments:

M. Bouffant said...

Blacks, Jews and the young,[sic] are especially susceptible.

Kinky Friedman: "Niggers, Jews & Sigma Nus ..."

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

is it SEVERAL Nazis?

FETCH THE HAMMERS, SUBSTANCE!!

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

We nuke salt water tomorrow.
~

Substance McGravitas said...

There may be precedent for war with the sea.

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

better yet, Nuke the Hamsters. Throw em in the microwave.

Dammit, thunder YOU started it.

M. Bouffant said...

DO NOT nuke hamsters w/o poking a hole in them.

Not easy to clean the microwave after sudden heat-induced hamster expansion.

Substance McGravitas said...

Did some liberal sucker you into thinking you had to clean the microwave?

mikey said...

Oh, yeah.

Since I've taken to not wearing trousers, and masturbating frantically whenever the phone rings, I've lost some friends and become estranged from family.

But if you believe, as I do, that the phone contains pheromones that send secret messages that call out to you to rub one out, then you'll understand that losing a few friends and relatives is no big deal.

Substance McGravitas said...

The phone was never ringing!

Da DA DUHHHHHMMMMMMMM!!

Rusty Shackleford said...

Most hamsters already have holes in them.

Substance McGravitas said...

Well, the ones you get at Wal-Mart, sure...

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

That is an ex-hamster.

Smut Clyde said...

Did some liberal sucker you into thinking you had to clean the microwave?

In any true Christian household, that is one of the wife's duties.

Substance McGravitas said...

You can let small creatures into it. They'll scour it out pretty quick.

Then you can microwave those.

tigris said...

a far graver danger than Nazi Germany, the Soviet Union or Islamic fascism, simply because they all lacked the ability or determination to destroy our Constitution

So NOW he admits Islamofascism is not an existential threat?