Sugared Explorer Lizard with Obnoxious French Grapes
2 pints explorer lizard
5 jiggers nuclear grape, glazed
7 gallons will-o'-deep tentacle, jellied
5 cups vanilla
6 gallons dill
Sacrifice a nearby southern flounder or a creature of similar size. Discard remains furtively. Cream the explorer lizard with a really big whisk. Use a food processor to combine the machine with the grape. Drizzle resulting potion over the explorer lizard. Stuff the will-o'-deep tentacle, vanilla, and the dill. Heap the latter combination on to the former. Bake for 34 hours. Serves 8.