Saturday, October 3, 2009

The 28 Exclamation Points

Alvaro Alvillar is excited:
There Is a New Movement…
by Alvaro Alvillar

…and it is us!
What follows is just kooky, but it's a naïve and wonderful kind of kooky. It starts off with a pull-the-other-one list:
We are proud! We are united! We are loyal! We are kind and giving! We are decent! We are diverse! We are always seeking to improve ourselves and lift others! We are always the first ones to show up in time of need-anywhere in the world! We are the most powerful country in the world-but we are not bullies! We are family! We are friends and neighbors! We are Americans and we are without a doubt the best example of a free people the world has ever seen-period.
The seen-period is far less confusing than the invisible-period. But really: isn't the teabagger point that they don't want to share with - searching for a euphemism here - diverse populations? And isn't that kinda the opposite of - well whatever, Alvaro's the Gumpiest of the Big Hollywood regulars so let's move on.
We are ready to let our voices be heard-loud and clear! We are going to show up whenever and wherever we are called to defend ourselves. We are going to defend all patriotic Americans against slander and libel, in and out of court with both our presence and our pocketbooks.
Teabagger Legal Corps reporting for duty! Lead us to the nattily-attired pretend pimp!
We are going to show up in unprecedented numbers and vote out the garbage, both left and right, that claim to represent us but prove otherwise-time and time again.
Hm. Unprecedented numbers? Might want to get that one right the first time...

But on to the end.
Whatever the color of our skin, whether we are religious or not, rich or poor, old or young-we are united against all those who would come between us, our families, our constitutional rights and our God given freedoms The call to stand up and be counted has been answered and everyday, our numbers swell and the more the radicals push-the faster and stronger we respond!
Big tent. In your pants.

10 comments:

herr doktor bimler said...

We use exclamations as our favourite punctuation marks!

herr doktor bimler said...

Mr Alvillar's prose style makes more sense if you imagine his words as lyrics for Austrian Death Machine.

Dragon-King Wangchuck said...

Edited Subby McG:
Alvaro Alvillar is excited:
There Is a New Movement…in [his] pants.

Dragon-King Wangchuck said...

And since the doktor has set the precedent for double commenting, let me draw your attention to Alvaro's challenge:
keep in mind that we conservatives have nothing to hide. We always have links to liberal sites and feature their columns on our own sites-they never do that!

herr doktor bimler said...

The call to stand up and be counted has been answered
by lynching the census worker.

What are the odds that BigWallyhood has been punked?

J— said...

We are family!

I got all my baggers with me!

What are the odds that BigWallyhood has been punked?

Did you all see this post by Jason Killian Meath, member of the Bush/Cheney elections marketing team? Some of the commenters say, no, you're analysis is upside down, but many, many jump up and down and celebrate. Who's the troll and who's getting trolled.

J— said...

your analysis

mikey said...

Whatever the color of our skin, whether we are religious or not...

Do you think they might send him another copy of the memo?

You know, the one he obviously didn't get...

I don't mean to go all apharbac on you or nothin

Substance McGravitas said...

Did you all see this post by Jason Killian Meath, member of the Bush/Cheney elections marketing team?

That's terrific. Your grade-school kid smacks their forehead and goes "Aww dad, quit embarrassin' me!"

Another Kiwi said...

We are the eggmen.

That's just arsepho