Tuesday, September 1, 2009

I Am Become Newt, The Destroyer of Words

Laura Hollis:
The Lefties are at it again. Having completely destroyed that fine word, “liberal,” along with the enlightened 18th century sensibilities that went with it, they have now moved on like locusts through the lexicon, and want to be called “progressives.”
Also I worship Obama, so there's that.

More:
The policies they advance, the behavior they display in support of them, and their inevitable consequences are taking this country backward, not forward, as these same policies have every time they have reared their ugly heads throughout human history. If liberals want a new moniker, they should be called regressives.
Quite right, ma'am! The problem the true leftist faces is not whether to regress, but what Golden Age to regress to: the eras of racial harmony and equality of the sexes, of peace and happiness, of freedom of expression, freedom from hunger or indeed poverty...why the whole thing sets me to dreaming of the day that Thomas Jefferson kissed Nat Turner full on the lips and proclaimed each Sunday to be Free Money Day, with ice-cream and subsequent dental check-ups.

Still more:
Most of what liberals espouse has not only not brought progress, it is sending us hurtling back into Neanderthal territory (with apologies to Neanderthals).

30 comments:

Rusty Shackleford said...

At it again? I've always been at it. We lefties' at-itness is 24/7/365, as the kids these days with their Facebooks and Twitters etc.

Substance McGravitas said...

Why, Lefty, do you want to send us "hurtling back into Neanderthal territory?" Do you imagine that Fred and Barney's marriage was really that successful?

fish said...

Yes, the fine word, "liberal." You know the meaning of "liberal" where you starve entire populations because of a misguided fealty to laissez-faire. Good times. Good times.

Substance McGravitas said...

Oops and everything, but that is totally what we want!

The policies they advance, the behavior they display in support of them, and their inevitable consequences are taking this country backward, not forward, as these same policies have every time they have reared their ugly heads throughout human history. If liberals want a new moniker, they should be called regressives.

If we Lefties desire anything, it is to return everyone to some society in which there are no rights for anyone!

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

O yea, thirty years of the right demonizing the word over the spineless non-objections of what passes for Democrats in this country, and the Liberals ar ethe ones who destroyed the word Liberal.

why can't we stop hitting ourselves?

shit, they really do expect us to have as little memory as they do, don't they? Newt who? George Bush what?

Another Kiwi said...

But never have the communists felt closer to achieving their goal than they are now. Make no mistake, they are waiting behind Barack Obama, panting and slavering at the prospect of taking over every branch of government
Laura Hollis Oct 2008

She seems to be a capable, well liked Professor and a raving loony. Excuse me I have some slavering to do.

mikey said...

Nuh - UHHH! I did NOT break it.

The last time I saw the word "liberal" it sitting on the table. Somebody else musta broke it. I never even touched it. I didn't want your dirty old liberal anyway. It had some kind of GOO all over it.

And I am NOT panting and slavering. Well, ok, I'm PANTING a little, but I'm an old FAT guy. Making a cocktail makes me pant. But I hardly ever slaver. If anything, that's just my nose running...

fish said...

The last time I saw the word "liberal" it sitting on the table. Somebody else musta broke it.


Mom always said: "Don't play ball in the house."

herr doktor bimler said...

they have now moved on like locusts through the lexicon, and want to be called “progressives.”

I have never asked to be called a progressive. I will settle for "Great One", or "Your Eminence".

Imagine my relief to check my dictionary and find that despite this alarming simile, there are no locusts migrating from cover to cover, stripping every page bare of syllables.

There are a couple of vultures in my vocabulary, waiting for words to die so they can be devoured at leisure, but I tell myself that it's all part of life's rich tapestry.

tigris said...

Liberals, always standing athwart history yelling "BACK!" Then "a little to the left... more... more... no, not quite so much... OH GOD YES!" Damn 'em.

mikey said...

My lexicon is full of worms.

Can we go back to sausage poisoning?

I have been a victim of extraordinary redition

Another Kiwi said...

I would like to be hurtled back to Jacobian times, kthnx.
Prithee my lord 'tis Sir Lancelot of the poisoned sausage. 'Tis said that many a field hast een ploughed ere an afternoons draught were ta'en" (pause for laughter to fade)
"My new woodcuts, let me show them to ye"

herr doktor bimler said...

Sir Lancelot. Let me introduce you to Sir Perceval of the Pierced Valley. I'm sure you have much in common.

My abcedarian is full of antelopes. I have no idea how they got there. They're not much use for anything, I can't even rhyme them with "Penelope". Quite frankly, I wish they'd go away.

No gnus is good gnus.

Substance McGravitas said...

Had I but world enough and time
I'd totally get you health care
On someone else's dime

Another Kiwi said...

Sniff sniff I love a wedding. I bet Barney was hot in the sack, too.

Substance McGravitas said...

Barney really made an effort to slim down to fit in that dress, but after the wedding...

Substance McGravitas said...

It appears he even had an arm removed.

Substance McGravitas said...

Maybe it's one long Fred arm back there with a hideous kink in it. And Barney's hideous kink was to have BOTH arms removed.

Another Kiwi said...

Jeepers, the "Boxing Barney" kink is extreme.

That's just banaras

herr doktor bimler said...

Where is Neanderthal territory, anyway? It sounds like something from an old Western. "Watch out when you cross the river, son -- you're in Neanderthal territory then, and they don't take too kindly to undocumented immigrants."

I am deeply perturbed by that white monster in the picture that has devoured Barney, all the way up to his head.

tigris said...

Where is Neanderthal territory, anyway?

The Neander Valley, I'd guess.

tigris said...

Also: thank Darwin we evolved away from the hideous neck boobs people of Fred and Barney's time were forced to sport.

mikey said...

Hmm.

"Hideous Neck Boobs" you say.

Well, I think McGravy plays the guitar, and Bimler can rock the cowbell, and I can sing even better than Scott Stapp, so now all we need is a band name...

Substance McGravitas said...

Cred.

herr doktor bimler said...

The Neander Valley, I'd guess.
That's spelled "Neandertal" these days.
On the other hand, it could explain a great deal about the Dortmund* and Essen football fans.

* Team colours are yellow and black, allegedly referring to the teeth and the necks respectively of team supporters.

Another Kiwi said...

The Neander Valley, I'd guess.
Oh I've been there! There's a big welcome sign saying "Og Uggg Og, Ogg Uggg grahl" which apparently means "What are looking at, pointy nose?"

herr doktor bimler said...

Are you sure you're not confusing it with Massey University?

Substance McGravitas said...

Universities ordinarily have a little more "glug" going on.

Another Kiwi said...

Massey's sign is the classic "Six months ago I couldn't even spell farmer, and now I are one"

tigris said...

Apparently it was called "Neandershöhle" at one point. I think we can be pretty sure the red ochre-capped, 3-eyed Neanderthal ghosts are glad they're not called Neanderholes.