Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Image the Fruitfulness. Go On, Image It.

Wake up, Maggie I think I got something to say to you:
Same-sex marriage is quite different from bans on interracial marriage in one powerful respect: It asks religious Americans to surrender a core belief -- no, not Leviticus (disapproval of gay sexual acts), but Genesis -- the idea that God himself made man male and female and commanded men and women to come together in a special way to image the fruitfulness of God.
You're aware that Genesis is the bullshittiest part of the Bible, right?

17 comments:

Mendacious D said...

No.

This has been another edition...

herr doktor bimler said...

Ooh baby, let's come together in a special way to image the fruitfulness of God.

Righteous Bubba said...

Well, they didn't get it right in any case and got chucked outta Eden. Then God drowned everybody later in the same book. His fuck-up not ours...

Another Kiwi said...

What do the Chimps say when they do their meat for sex thang? Hey babe, wanna make a pork chop, image???

Phil Collins™³²®© said...

You're aware that Genesis is the bullshittiest part of the Bible, right?

HEY!
~

Mendacious D said...

More importantly, what resolution would we use to image it? I don't imagine the Almighty goes in for JPEG compression. Although if it's fruitfulness we're imaging, it should probably be RAW.

Righteous Bubba said...

meat for sex thang?

Imaging the meatiness is somehow less palatable.

Mendacious D said...

How about sandwiches?

Another Kiwi said...

I don't imagine the Almighty goes in for JPEG compression
Which brings up the vexed question of how deep intelligent design goes. Is it to the molecular level as in "I'll put some cytokine E genes in there because their expression will result in an enhanced ability to store Lysiene".
Or is it more of a macro design thing i.e."Giraffes look nice with those blotchy things on them"

J— said...

Speaking of Genesis 1, sometimes when I'm out in the backyard, I come across creeping things that creep on earth, and I say to them, "Hey, get over here. I rule you. God says so." But they don't respond; they ignore me. I think they've been co-opted by the Homosexual Agenda.

Righteous Bubba said...

Did you try imaging them?

J— said...

I will try that tomorrow. I will go out and image them in a special way, and they will yield before my fruitfulness.

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

This thread is asking for a Grapefruit Chupacabra attack.

It's a total slasher thread.
~

tigris said...

On May 13, 1978, somewhere on the eastern seaboard, a balding middle-aged man was heard to ask a young woman in a Tropicana t-shirt who was temporarily filling in as receptionist, "do you validate parking?" to which she replied, "yes: you are a good driver and park exceptionally well! Even parallel parking presents no problems for you!"

Later that same day the man took part in the first summoning forth of the Grapefruit Chupacabra.

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

Thank you for posting that gripping description, tigris.

Over at Tres Toros, some have attempted to cast doubt on the existence of the Grapefruit Chupacabra.

It would be irresponsible not to speculate about their hidden motive...
~

fish said...

Let's take a look at the family tree:

Adam and Eve begat

Cain and Able.

Um, Sally has two daddies.

Citrus Lover said...

We at the Citrus Fashion Association were afraid of this moment: that eventually Pinko Punko's anti-citrus propaganda would spill over to other sections of the internet. We continue to press for the establishment of grapefruit libel laws.