Sunday, April 12, 2009


B is for the Bullshit heaved at me
A recent poll found that 80% of so-called independents favor Democrats over Republicans when it comes to national security. That, in a nutshell, tells us all we need to know about most people who identify themselves as independents or moderates. For if there is any one issue on which sane people would give Republicans the edge, it would be national security.
U is for the Useless one I see
That brings us to the United States, a country that under Obama is rapidly becoming a place that would be unrecognizable to the freedom-loving architects who framed our Constitution and pledged their very lives and fortunes to creating a nation of, by and for the people. It was a nation dedicated to the rights of the individual and based on Judeo-Christian principles, and not one that views Castro’s Cuba through red-colored glasses.
R is Really Really wrong like Mikheil Saakashvili
For instance, in Afghanistan, the farmers recently called for a meeting with U.S. Marines in order to alert them to the fact that they will be in their fields at night harvesting opium poppies. They wanted to make sure that the Marines didn’t take them for members of the Taliban and shoot them by mistake. Like the farmers, I also don’t want our Marines to shoot them by mistake.
P is funnier than T because it's Punnier
As I have always contended, anyone who doesn’t regard himself as a conservative or at least a Republican is nearly always a liberal in sheep’s clothing who simply doesn’t wish to be pigeonholed. I have an acquaintance who kept insisting for years that he was an independent. When I finally pinned him to the wall and demanded he name the last Republican he had voted for, he admitted it was Richard Nixon in 1972! Which makes him just about as independent as Howard Dean or James Carville.


ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

...a liberal in sheep’s clothing who simply doesn’t wish to be pigeonholed.

Until we hear from Micky Kaus, I will merely be laughing my ass off.

Righteous Bubba said...

Don't miss the hamsters!

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

That reminded me that years ago, I bought a female hamster for my 10-year-old stepdaughter, not knowing that she — the hamster, not my stepdaughter — was pregnant. By the time I woke up one morning, my wife reported that the animal had given birth to four or five babies, and promptly had them for breakfast.

I'm reminded of the time some senile dipshit started Seig-Heiling to Hitler, but then being an old senile guy/dipshit, he dis-remembered it as liberals and FDR doing said Seig-Heiling.

Also, pregnant hamsters are busy getting late-term abortions, and that's why Sadly, Slow!

Righteous Bubba said...

Blogger: more value for the money.

Also I don't get Burt on independents at all. Are they not allowed to vote ever because they will therefore not be independent?

J— said...

The perfect strategy for Republican victory in the next few election cycles: Tell independents they are idiots.

The fabulous Fable of the Hamster: Just in time for both Easter and Passover.

Just wait until Prelutsky finds out what happens with mantises.

Righteous Bubba said...

The Republican pitch.

tigris said...

Just wait until MRS Prelutsky finds out about mantises.

Righteous Bubba said...

Is this the Psycho Mantis Easter Egg?