Saturday, April 28, 2012

Schtik Shift

Town Hall once again features one-idea loser John Hawkins:
Top five cliches that liberals use to avoid real arguments
Look at that mug.



You may recall John Hawkins from such classic thought-avoidance columns as "Four Ways to Insert"—

No wait, it's Jonah Goldberg! Writing in The Washington Post! Mercy me, I have been hornswoggled.

Look at that mug.



Let me now list the 5IVE CLICHÉS so we can pretend we're not making a scurrilous ad hominem argument and in fact dealt seriously with a whole bunch of intellectual somethings-or-other:
‘Diversity is strength’
‘Violence never solved anything’
‘The living Constitution’
‘Social Darwinism’
‘Better 10 guilty men go free . . .’
Dealing seriously with it: I figure that a mob of completely non-diverse black people should be able to beat the shit out of Jonah Goldberg and shove the constitution up his ass and castrate him for the sake of the gene pool and have a whole bunch of other guys put in jail for it.

Now: what's better than some third-rate column in which complaining via list substitutes for an idea?

A third-rate column Hawkinsing a book entitled The Tyranny of Clichés.

ALSO:

Jesus Christ.

ALSO ALSO:

I see I was beaten to this before I was awake.

ALSO ALSO ALSO:
The hideous John Hawkins for real:

7 Mistakes Women Make with Men

How to avoid unleashing the Hulk.
That site is coming in handy.

John Hawkins

Here's #1:
1) Sleep with him too soon.


Okay, that's enough of that.

23 comments:

vacuumslayer said...

Oh, my darling Substance...did you see THIS?!!!!

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

Of course, it was a Fred Hiatt (Wanker of the Decade runner up) Daily Double.

Yeah, Artois beat you to it, but I'm still working on mine, so you got me.

** "Working" = babbling away in the comment section at the War Criminal Post. Hey, that's where I get all my best ideas!
~

Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

I can see where Doughbob is laboring under the tyranny of cliches... how about the top five cliches Jonah embodies?

He's a chunky, be-dewlapped blob.

He's a recipient of wingnut welfare who owes his job to his horrid mother's efforts against Clinton.

He's a sloppy thinker, and a terrible writer.

He's terribly lazy, and often tries to "trick" his readers into writing columns for him, citing deadlines, or a need to walk the dog.

His stock-in-trade is projection... all of his attacks on liberals are merely attemps to deflect criticism from movement conservatives by attributing evil motives to his political opponents.

I CAN HAZ KOLLUM SPASE?

mikey said...

The dood wrote a book about how the NAZIS are LEFTISTS, fer crissakes.

And his political movement is so bereft and so corrupt that it held it's collective nose and embraced him, idiocy, nepotism, sloth and all...

Substance McGravitas said...

Oh, my darling Substance...did you see THIS?!!!!

Gee, that suddenly seems like an obligation.

vacuumslayer said...

Oh, it IS.

tigris said...

Jonah on the 10 guilty going free: "As a truism, it’s a laudable and correct sentiment that no reasonable person can find fault with. But that’s the problem: No reasonable person disagrees with it....

Taken literally, the phrase is absurd. Letting 10 rapists and murderers go free will almost surely result in far more harm to society than putting one poor innocent sap in jail."

So according to Jonah, Jonah is not a reasonable person.

Smut Clyde said...

Letting 10 rapists and murderers go free will almost surely result in far more harm to society than putting one poor innocent sap in jail.

Does he venture a precise figure for the optimum ratio of false convictions? Evidently he is happy if one in every 11 prison inmates is innocent, but perhaps a higher proportion is acceptable.

I suspect it is like military service. "The smooth functioning of society requires us to put numerous poor innocent saps in jail. So long as it's someone else."

tigris said...

Does he venture a precise figure for the optimum ratio of false convictions?

No, but he does pinpoint that as a flaw in the liberal cliche, as we don't give a hard number for the number of guilty people we're willing to let free. I suppose he sees it as a point on which we can bargain, perhaps to let 10 guilty go for every 10 innocent we imprison or something. I'm sure it'll be reasonable.

Smut Clyde said...

William Blackstone, jurist and Tory politician:
"better that ten guilty persons escape than that one innocent suffer"

LIBERAL.

Benjamin Franklin:
"it is better [one hundred] guilty Persons should escape than that one innocent Person should suffer"

LIBERAL.

Increase Mather:
"It were better that Ten Suspected Witches should escape, than that the Innocent Person should be Condemned."

LIBERAL.

Maimonides:
"it is better and more satisfactory to acquit a thousand guilty persons than to put a single innocent one to death."

LIBERAL.

Substance McGravitas said...

Hulked.

mikey said...

"Caedite eos. Novit enim Dominus qui sunt eius"

Arnaud Amalric

Smut Clyde said...

So according to Jonah, Jonah is not a reasonable person.

Remember that Jonah uses 'reasonable' as a term of art for praising cynical opportunism, i.e. "willing to accept a given truism as the Voice of the People or reject it as a shibboleth of the tiny liberal minority, depending on convenience".

I do get the impression from prowling around at Volokh Conspiracy that across right-wing jurisprudence there has been a general swing against the quaint, old-fashioned concept that "convicting innocent people is wrong". See also "9/11 changed everything" and "the Constitution is not a suicide pact".

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

S.C., there's also this.

Casablanca was based on the play Everybody Comes to Rick's by Murray Burnett and Joan Alison. The source of the phrase "show me your papers" was based on Burnett's real-life encounters with Nazi officials. During a 1938 European vacation, Burnett witnessed first-hand the discrimination and persecution of the early days of Hitler's fascism.
~

Substance McGravitas said...

A search for "Liberal Fascism" and PDF yielded instant results and now there is this awful tension in wanting/not wanting to pay attention to it.

vacuumslayer said...

Are you saying that you don't think Mr. Hawkins has a problem with women sleeping with him too soon? Is that what you're saying , MR. MEANIE-PANTS?!!!

Substance McGravitas said...

I think the picture I like best is the third one: ACCIDENTAL STAR TREK UNIFORM.

el Manquécito said...

I know folks that I would trust for advice about women based on real world experience and tireless research. Sr. Hawkins ain't one of them.

vacuumslayer said...

ACCIDENTAL STAR TREK UNIFORM.

LOL--I know!

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

Lt. Blueshirt was beamed down to Planet Blob, and never heard from again.
~

Substance McGravitas said...

And what the fuck is that between his teeth?

fish said...

Is that last photo him with his mom? Did he sleep with her too soon?

M. Bouffant said...

across right-wing jurisprudence there has been a general swing against the quaint, old-fashioned concept that "convicting innocent people is wrong"
Also the concept of "Well, he must have done something."