The House of Substance: No I Am Not Sticking My Head In There

Thursday, May 19, 2011

No I Am Not Sticking My Head In There

23 comments:

mikey said...: Well, c'mon, man.

How, pray tell, do you expect to control the quality of your creeps without TESTING them?

Can you imagine a world overrun with random, untested creeps?

It would be chaos!

Chaos, I say!

W/V is a shout out to annabelle's less popular sister: prunybel; May 19, 2011 at 11:26 AM
Hamish Mack said...: I'm with mikey on this. Standardisation of creepiness is long overdue. A simple label at the top of conservative blogs could alert the first-time reader as to the level of skin crawl they may be about to experience. The unit could be the Schussel or perhaps the Derb.; May 19, 2011 at 12:46 PM
zombie rotten mcdonald said...: it's not your HEAD that needs to be stuck in there.; May 19, 2011 at 2:07 PM
Dr.KennethNoisewater said...: It's not your head they measure.; May 19, 2011 at 2:07 PM
Dr.KennethNoisewater said...: zrm needs to be beaten about the head and shoulders.

UGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!; May 19, 2011 at 2:16 PM
zombie rotten mcdonald said...: Dudeskull is slowing you down, VS.; May 19, 2011 at 2:29 PM
Substance McGravitas said...: You beat him and he just keeps coming at you. I recommend chainsaws.; May 19, 2011 at 2:38 PM
Dr.KennethNoisewater said...: Not really. Look at the timestamps.; May 19, 2011 at 2:39 PM
Dr.KennethNoisewater said...: You'd think ripping off his arms and using them to wail on him woulda done the trick...; May 19, 2011 at 2:41 PM
zombie rotten mcdonald said...: taekwondo taught me to kick.; May 19, 2011 at 2:56 PM
zombie rotten mcdonald said...: VS can't HANDLE a chainsaw in her - ahem- delicate condition.; May 19, 2011 at 2:57 PM
ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...: AHEM.

Lawnmower.

P.S. WV? That's right: gones
~; May 19, 2011 at 3:17 PM
zombie rotten mcdonald said...: tundra is triggering me.; May 19, 2011 at 3:22 PM
ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...: I haven't complained about your new blog's system of common tation, zrm.

(yet)
~; May 19, 2011 at 3:40 PM
zombie rotten mcdonald said...: Maybe the comment system sucks, but it's not Blogger and I can adjust the video widths easily to fit, so no more cut off bids!

Life isnfullnof trade-offs; but if visitors talk to me nicely and get my clients to pay up before the Rapture so I can stop blowing hobos for quarters, I might be able to look at incorporating JS-Kit as the commenting system.; May 19, 2011 at 6:06 PM
Dr.KennethNoisewater said...: Who are you trying to kid? We all know you blow hobos for fun. You know, for the same reason I kill 'em.; May 19, 2011 at 6:10 PM
Dr.KennethNoisewater said...: Btw, every time I glance at this entry title, my mind keeps expecting to see something about sticking a dick in the mashed potatoes.; May 19, 2011 at 6:16 PM
zombie rotten mcdonald said...: So much for talking to me nicely, I guess.

Vs joins in the zombie hatred!; May 19, 2011 at 6:23 PM
Smut Clyde said...: something about sticking a dick in the mashed potatoes.

Worst Bubble-&-Squeak recipe EVAH.

Says the Mickeypedia:
Bubble and squeak is a traditional English dish made with the shallow-fried leftover vegetables from a roast dinner. The main ingredients are potato and cabbage, but carrots, peas, brussels sprouts, and PENIS can be added.; May 19, 2011 at 7:18 PM
fish said...: You beat him and he just keeps coming at you.

Wait, what were we talking about again?; May 19, 2011 at 7:45 PM
mikey said...: Me and Zombie in a buddy movie!!

I'm tellin ya, it's an awesome concept. You know, sworn enemies have to work together against a common enemy, I shoot 'em, he eats 'em either way, y'know, we figure out the mystery and along the way discover that there's no real reason to hate each other.

In the end, in the final, violent conflagration, in a blaze of explosions, gunfire and viscera, we defeat the bad guy (some kinda Eastern Eurpoean dood with blonde hair and a van dyke havin chin motherfucker) and finally, as the credits start to roll, we're standing side by side in the rubble, silent, just trying to come to terms with the way things played out. And then I pull the .357 Python out of my belt and regretfully put two behind his ear, because, well, hell, you KNOW he's gonna get hungry and I'm gonna get sleepy and, well, do the goddam math...; May 19, 2011 at 8:07 PM
Substance McGravitas said...: Why haven't you produced a movie yet? I mean, Jesus.; May 19, 2011 at 10:26 PM
zombie rotten mcdonald said...: And then I pull the .357 Python out of my belt and regretfully....

...prepared for this moment, ZRM reaches down and pulls out TWO full bottles of Sailor Jerry's. mikey pauses as the zombie lights up a joint, passes it over, then pours two pint glasses full of the Jerry's.

Passing one over, ZRM croaks "...dude I understand your suspicion. But hey, let's just get blitzed and go blow up a church or something, hey? Then maybe go looking for that Burt Prelutsky idiot...."

Mikey stares for a moment, then takes a draw of the joint. "Hokay, you undead bastard." he chuckles. "Also, I dibs Orly Taitz if she shows up."

"Man, you've got more cojones than a zombie." ZRM replies. Both look at each other for a moment, then break into laughter.

Better ending. Leave room for a sequel, yanno.; May 20, 2011 at 7:11 AM

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