Thursday, December 17, 2009

No "The Fact Is" Yet

What's happening nutty socialists!! What you reap is more than you deserve, you preposterous pinheads! How's Obama working for you now? Got your equal rights yet?

Hey myopic socialists! May self-centredness condemn you, you irredeemably boorish unschooled medaka-followings! How's B. Hussein Obama working for you now? Got your Afghanistan pullout yet?

Hello homos! A narrow-minded belief system is too good for you, you stinking idiots! How's Sean Penn working for you now? Got your Iraq pullout yet?

Teeb teey teizzle, Obamabots! You nutsucking obscene cancer-bimbos, I hope that your small furry mammals will damn your bellies! You'll get your mortage cramdown when you pry it out of the cold dead hands of Conservatives!!

Geb gus gufle, DemocRATs!! May meaning torment a business idea, you disgusting ignorant sack of koala's debts! You'll get your Afghanistan pullout when you pry it out of the cold dead hands of Tea Party Americans.

Greetings grungy Obamabots!!! You are the worst nutsucking sack of sacks of flesh, you tetra's shrugs! You'll get your Iraq pullout when you pry it out of the cold dead hands of Red Staters who will stop you.

Tev toob tefle, unschooled sissies!! Your inability to like yourself is too good for you, you frightening hosers! You'll get your Afghanistan pullout when you pry it out of the cold dead hands of True Patriots.

Hello idiotic sissies!! You vulgar malodorous zipperhead-chumps, why don't you go make impossible your lovers!! You'll get your free day care when you pry it out of the cold dead hands of True Patriots.

Howdy fags!!! You are nothing more than authoritarian debauched vermins, you psychotic scoundrels! How's Michael Moore working for you now? Got your free education yet?

Nan nen noocle, neurotic socialists!!! You are nothing more than envious saury's barbarities, you porcupinefish's cobias! You'll get your equal rights when you pry it out of the cold dead hands of Real Americans!!!

Vin vez veeizzle, blabbering fags! May your dream's religious beliefs make your career drip depressing vital organs, you sloppy fakes! How's Hillary Clinton working for you now? Got your free day care yet?

What's happening debauched DemocRATs! May your spider's god make you ooze obscene fresh blood, you sodden punks! You'll get your minimum wage when you pry it out of the cold dead hands of True Patriots!

Les lum looble, insufferable fags!! Your confusion of purpose with money is all you can hope for, you smelly devils! You'll get your Afghanistan pullout when you pry it out of the cold dead hands of Tea Party Americans!

8 comments:

M. Bouffant said...

Getting there, but there's still a sense of English as a second language.

Maybe you're channeling dentist-at-law Orly Taitz.

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

It's scary.

Next, Janus node will enter the Texas goobernatorial election.
~

fish said...

You'll get your Afghanistan pullout when you pry it out of the cold dead hands of Tea Party Americans!

That is awesome for so many reasons.

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

teh lack of spelling and grammar errors is going to be a terrible giveaway.

Actually, though, I bet Janusnode could make a better Senate Leader than Harry Reid. I also bet you could have it write a hella Obama speech.

J— said...

It drops the Sean Penn bomb!

Dragon-King Wangchuck said...

Any chance of adding a little Iris? Something about Reagan Democrats and coalitions and marching and glass ceilings.

mikey said...

You are the worst nutsucking sack of sacks of flesh...

Sure seems to me that there should be a relatively simple method for preventing this unfortunate redundancy, you sack of sacks. Even brute-force word proximity would likely work....

Substance McGravitas said...

Sure seems to me that there should be a relatively simple method for preventing this unfortunate redundancy

Nope, no mechanism for comparisons at all. That's one reason why I thought I'd one day make my own text mangler, but that's a far bigger job than just making JanusNode sound like a brain-damaged right-winger.

The cool thing about such a project, however, is that JanusNode stores all its bits in text files, so you wouldn't have to abandon what you'd already assembled.