Wednesday, December 30, 2009

The Glories of Corporate Christmas

Actual Christmas wishes in my in-box:



Sadly, I drank all my significant gains while weeping.

13 comments:

mikey said...

Clearly insincere.

Who wishes you a "good start" and fails to provide oatmeal?

They don't actually give a shit about your 'start'...

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

Here's a Bold Idea:

First, rip their arms off and beat them with the wet ends.

Then eat their branes.

And turn their livers into processing filters for bathtub alcohol.

And make their skulls into bongs.

I'm a Pioneer, an Idea Zombie.

Substance McGravitas said...

What I hate is stale energy. Give me fresh energy, piping hot, straight from the reactor. Yum!

Another Kiwi said...

Also true discoveries, not false ones, like you discover Greenland only to find it's mainly ice and rocks.
On the back of the card does it say "Oh, and keep buying stuff"

tigris said...

I'm curious about their wishes for your openness for innovations. Curious and a little worried.

fish said...

Santa wants you to get great valuations on your stock price this year. Why haven't you finished the product specs yet?

M. Bouffant said...

A card for which "Happy Holidays" would have been much more appropriate.

Keep producing & consuming throughout the New Yr.!

guitarist manqué said...

Tig's right, 'openness to innovation' is always a code word for something unpleasant. If it was something you liked you'd already know about it.

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

'openness to innovation'

nudge nudge *wink*
~

Smut Clyde said...

If they are going to print the card in cursive text, it should wish you "italic ideas".

Substance McGravitas said...

I did some innovating back in college but my roomie and I have never spoken of it since.

guitarist manqué said...

I'm going to try it out at various New Year's parties. I like to think of myself as open to innovation.

guitarist manqué said...

Screw you Blogger. I had (lockjaw)(/lockjaw) tags around that quote and Blogger eated them.