Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Plus Gary

A fairly primitive one-note Gary, but that's Gary for you.
Greetings commies!! May deathly illness rain evil upon your dreams, you unschooled maniacal mockingbird-torpedos! You'll get your estate tax when you pry it out of the cold dead hands of Conservatives!!!

The fact is, your free education is not in the constitution, you commies.

The fact is, your carbon tax is not in the constitution, you disease-carrying homos.

Hi grungy homos!!! You grubby grotesque scoundrel-hoohoos, I hope that your deities will mutilate your desireses! You'll get your Iraq pullout when you pry it out of the cold dead hands of Tea Party Americans!

What's happening socialists!! You batty idiot-drips, why don't you go call down the wrath of the Gods upon your best bitses! You'll get your cap and trade when you pry it out of the cold dead hands of True Patriots.

The fact is, your Iraq pullout is not in the constitution, you Obamabots.

Hello deadly sissies. May random kindness make you spew pathetic spiny-back's dirt, you decrepit idiots! You'll get your health care when you pry it out of the cold dead hands of Real Republicans.

Hello bitch hippies. Your confusion of purpose with desire is more than you deserve, you suffocating nuts! How's Chris Dodd working for you now? Got your health care yet?

What's up incompetent Obamabots! May your mother make your loved one ooze glowing vital fluids, you mangy suffocating bimbos! You'll get your Afghanistan pullout when you pry it out of the cold dead hands of Tea Party Americans!

The fact is, your mortage cramdown is not in the constitution, you simple-minded depressing turkey-snakes.

What's happening suffocating sissies!! May your devil's snakes make your skin spew unschooled brain tissue, you grungy cocksucking twits! You'll get your minimum wage when you pry it out of the cold dead hands of Tea Party Americans!

Howdy DemocRATs. May your employer's misunderstandings make your plans for the future drip jolly vital fluids, you idiotic asses! How's Nancy Pelosi working for you now? Got your cap and trade yet?

What's happening fags! May your snotty-nosed child make your father ooze vital fluids, you primitive fakers! How's Barack Hussein Obama working for you now? Got your mortage cramdown yet?

Hey hippies!! Inability to love is too good for you, you preposterous airheads! How's Barry Soetoro working for you now? Got your health care yet?

The fact is, your minimum wage is not in the constitution, you fags.

Howdy preposterous communists!! May blaming others bring displeasure to a new idea, you maniacal inept emperor penguin-followers! You'll get your equal rights when you pry it out of the cold dead hands of The Heartland!!

Hi idiotic commies. You mangy wanton dittohead-sack of worm foods, go complicate your busts!!! You'll get your estate tax when you pry it out of the cold dead hands of Conservatives!

The fact is, your carbon tax is not in the constitution, you unnatural bald illness-idiots.

What's happening fags! You grotesque deadly snake-twits, why don't you go plague your things! You'll get your gays in the military when you pry it out of the cold dead hands of The Heartland.

What's happening ass-fucking commies. May trying to be too independent bring zits to you, you frighteningly slimy torrent fish-nourishing walking catfishes! How's Hillary Clinton working for you now? Got your minimum wage yet?

Howdy fags. May developing your own metaphors wreck your lips, you insanely kooky suffocating chunk of lark's finalities! You'll get your gay marriage when you pry it out of the cold dead hands of The Heartland!!!

Greetings maladjusted homos!! You accursed flaming dolt-fools, why don't you go consume your screams!!! How's Obambi working for you now? Got your carbon tax yet?

Hello fags. You are the ultimate example of extroverted shortnose greeneye's desires, you space's hips! How's Barry Soetoro working for you now? Got your gay marriage yet?

Howdy homos!!! May your rodent annoy your eye, you idiotic ugly plasma-noses! You'll get your free day care when you pry it out of the cold dead hands of True Patriots!!

Greetings commies! You lobotomized lying twit-dipsticks, why don't you go exploit your ancestorses! How's Hillary Clinton working for you now? Got your carbon tax yet?

Greetings scurvy Obamabots!! May your stranger's stranger rain evil upon the concept of 'God', you depressing accursed roosterfish-guitarfishes! You'll get your free day care when you pry it out of the cold dead hands of The Heartland!!!

Hey DemocRATs. May your friend's hope tax you, you slimy pathetic admission-addresses! You'll get your free education when you pry it out of the cold dead hands of Tea Party Americans!!!

The fact is, your health care is not in the constitution, you grungy zipperhead-basket cases.

The fact is, your gays in the military is not in the constitution, you maniacal bore-pirates.

The fact is, your gays in the military is not in the constitution, you self-pitying socialists.

Hi nutty socialists!!! You stinky bitch devil-bastards, why don't you go torment your sicknesses!!! How's Bill Clinton working for you now? Got your carbon tax yet?

Howdy socialists!!! May your enemy's dream call down the wrath of the Gods upon you, you smelly twerp-lipses! You'll get your estate tax when you pry it out of the cold dead hands of True Patriots!!!

What's happening myopic Obamabots!!! May a close friend eat you, you flaming brine shrimp-mustard eels! You'll get your free day care when you pry it out of the cold dead hands of The Heartland!!

Howdy stinking sissies! May a maid make your best bits drip spread pain, you depressing grungy snakes! You'll get your free day care when you pry it out of the cold dead hands of True Conservatives!!

The fact is, your gays in the military is not in the constitution, you ass-raping socialists.

Hello self-pitying Obamabots. You are the ultimate example of cryptic incompetent kooks, you wood's breasts! How's Al Franken working for you now? Got your mortage cramdown yet?

Greetings buttlicking fags! You sloppy twerp-knaves, I hope that your rodents will rain evil upon your most treasured possessions! How's Bill Clinton working for you now? Got your estate tax yet?

What's happening DemocRATs. Selfishness in others is the best you can hope for, you depressing fakers! How's Hillary Clinton working for you now? Got your equal rights yet?

Hi sissies! You are nothing more than omnivorous grotesque dittoheads, you warmth's bandwagons! You'll get your cap and trade when you pry it out of the cold dead hands of The Heartland!!

17 comments:

Another Kiwi said...

That's Ruprecht alright

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

Is it original Gary, or underaged immigrant Gary who snuck across the border and stole original Gary's job?
~

J— said...

Get thee behind me, Satan.

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

careful, Substance. I think that might trigger mikey...

Substance McGravitas said...

OMG, I think I accidentally erased the kooky Coach Urban Meyer jabbering.

mikey said...

As the representative and spokes-hoohoo for grubby grotesque scoundrel-hoohoos everywhere, I'd just like to thank you for including us in your lovely article on this web log home page place of yours.

We find that all too often, the mainstream media (60 Minutes, 0 Hoohoos) tends to ignore the existence of soundrel-hoohoos and our perfectly justified political goals. And after developing our own metaphors wrecked our lips, we were left, alone and tearful, filled with extroverted shortnose greeneye's desires, so a little recognition at this point is appreciated...

Substance McGravitas said...

May trying to be too independent bring zits to you, you frighteningly slimy torrent fish-nourishing walking catfishes!

An endorsement of the welfare state! TROLL FAIL, TROOFUS!

mikey said...

careful, Substance. I think that might trigger mikey...

You start fucking around with a JanusNode Lesley and I'm OUTTA HERE!

Smut Clyde said...

HOw about meta five?*
Our commercial purpose is advising organisations on central issues of organisational management focusing on the soft skills to be promoted within the organisation. We provide help in finding and formulating strategies that proactively provide direction.

* Other people's similes only go up to meta-four.

Substance McGravitas said...

The JanusNode comes with a Bureaucratese module that generates jargon, but not sentences:

evolved customer-friendly supply line action plans

total management stakeholder relations automation

user-friendly consolidated data processing industrial controls

stream-lined agent-based mission inventory managements

pre-subscribed just-in-time deployment government works

pre-subscribed government-funded management project milestones

parallel digital tax deferral predictions

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

you warmth's bandwagons!

I am particularly intrigued by this.

Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

I, for one, am looking forward to the coming release of A Child's Garden of Gary Ruppert.

Smut Clyde said...

A Child's Garden of Gary Ruppert.
We keep planting them, but none of them have sprouted yet.

Substance McGravitas said...

My tea is nearly bagged and The One is lurking nigh;
It's time to leave the basement to see patriots going by...

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

Gary Ruppert's Letters to.... well, anybody

GeoX said...

Pretty sure that bit about "confusion of purpose with desire" is somewhere in Foucault.

Smut Clyde said...

As indeed is "desire of purpose with confusion", and "purpose of confusion with desire".