Saturday, December 12, 2009

Starting on Troll JanusNode

Seems to me the Insult module is the thing to start adapting...
  • A blind alley is too good for you, you horrid demon!
  • May a snake's understanding make your ears drip fiery fresh blood, you depressing alien!
  • The illusion of innocence is the best you can hope for, you blabbering wart!
  • You grief-inducing stinky turkey-snake, I hope that your devil will bring displeasure to its own toe!
  • Failing to accept reality is too good for you, you odious bastard!
  • Your failure to look after yourself is the best you can hope for, you idiotic toe nail!
  • You flaming ass-raping goof-devil, why don't you go dominate your knee?!
  • May your enemy's religious belief place obstacles before your family values, you frighteningly inane chunk of leg's cobbler!
  • May your angel make you ooze octopus's excretions, you unnatural gibbering hoohoo!
  • You cancerous simple-minded freak-dog, I hope that your dream will tear apart your own toe!
  • May a spider make your ideals spew incoherent mandrill's stink, you dishonest slovenly illness!
  • Narrow-mindedness is more than you deserve, you lobotomized zipperhead!
  • An unrealistic goal is too good for you, you nutty maniac!
  • Addiction is all you can hope for, you cocksucking kook!
  • You ugly nutty dog- sack of neuroses, why don't you go tattoo absurdities onto your own mouth?!
  • A feeling of unmitigated terror is all you can hope for, you decrepit freak!
  • May a deadly agricultural engineer make your bum ooze vital fluids, you smelly depressing sack of flesh!
  • You are the ultimate example of a buttlicking red-cockaded woodpecker's potbellied pig, you contemptible punk!
  • May your enemy's snotty-nosed child make you drip klutzy fresh blood, you buttlicking decrepit bitch!
  • May an enemy's gift make you spew final vital fluids, you ignorant vermin!
  • A maladaptive fantasy is all you can hope for, you maniacal snake!
  • You are the worst primitive dipstick, you hoser!
  • May an accountant make you ooze vital fluids, you ill-begotten rancid dittohead!
  • A lack of gratitude is the best you can hope for, you stupid dunce!
  • You cocksucking pinhead-dipstick, I hope that your god will infect your own skin!
  • May your rodent annoy you, you suffocating boxfish-slackenning spoonbill!
  • May a lawyer's deity make your family ooze urine, you lying inebriated knave!
  • You idiotic unnatural cancer-maniac, I hope that your desire will puke on its own genitals!
  • May a close friend make you drip pathetic vital fluids, you suffocating grief-inducing kook!
  • May your belief system bring zits to you, you rancid hip-fall!
  • Your confusion of intuition with rationality is too good for you, you decrepit airhead!

21 comments:

mikey said...

Y'know, I'm not 100% certain, but I'm pretty damn sure my family DOES ooze urine....

Substance McGravitas said...

Izzat a narrow urethra thing?

Smut Clyde said...

I'm kinda fond of R. A. Lafferty's suggestions for streamlining debates by reducing them to a list of numerical options:

My opponent (1) is personally moronic. (2) is sexually incompetent. (3) flubs third points in Chuki game. (4) eats Mu seeds before the time of the summer solstice. (5) is physically pathetic. (7) is financially stupid. (8) is ethically weird. (9) is intellectually contemptible. (10) is morally dishonest.

M. Bouffant said...

I suppose you need someone to come in here & ask what happened to #6. Or would "Where is #6?" be a better setup?

I might add that the use of "zipperhead" will not win anyone any friends.

Smut Clyde said...

R. A. Lafferty is dead, alas, and not telling us what happened to #6.

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

The current S,N! parody troll sorely needs replacing.

P.S. Shatist, says captcha.
~

J— said...

Experiment under way.

tigris said...

Those are way too good for the moronic sadly trolls; You ugly nutty dog- sack of neuroses, why don't you go tattoo absurdities onto your own mouth?! is a thing of sublime beauty.

Smut Clyde said...

For the benefit of the S,N! troll, I have a picture of a bag of dicks. Can't find a copy on the intermaze, though, so I'll have to scan it.

God's Fire said,
December 13, 2009 at 20:05


Izzat J—?

J— said...

Yes, but in the context of that thread it's not clear to whom it's directed, so it's kind of a misfire.

Smut Clyde said...

a picture of a bag of dicks.

Now scanned.

Substance McGravitas said...

The insults need a list of generic political items and happenings to refer to. So far the module's called Hey Libs!

Substance McGravitas said...

Also need to reflect a multitude instead of a single person.

Substance McGravitas said...

Hi commies!! You loathsome deadly maniac-bimbos, why don't you go tax your own screams?!

Substance McGravitas said...

Hi hippies. Physical torture is too good for you, you fucking failures!

Oh dear. I will have to turn down the verisimilitude knob.

Also, BOO HOO I AM NOT A FAILURE.

Smut Clyde said...

You loathsome deadly maniac-bimbos
You really should be more respectful when addressing my Amazonian bodyguard of Scarlett Johansson clones.

ckc (not kc) said...

..why don't you go tax your own screams?

...you know, our politicians have plenty of their own ideas without you contributing more.

mikey said...

I trust, Senor Smut, that your quest throughout the interwebs for an image of a basket of dicks led you to this lovely example:

http://bit.ly/4LxjsY

Smut Clyde said...

They've eaten all the corn and now they're hungry again.

Janus said...

Just to let you know: I re-built JanusNode.com and released a new universal version today, JanusNode 2.1, that you can download from there.

Janus

Substance McGravitas said...

Many thanks!