Parasites

O the incivility:

Khadir, who is a member of Quebec's national assembly (MNA) and co-leader of Quebec Solidaire, referred to the royals as "parasites" in an interview with the Journal de Québec newspaper.

"What a waste of public money. All this to welcome those parasites," Khadir is quoted as saying in the article.

A portion of the trip's cost will be covered by Quebec taxpayers.

Apparently some people think this remark is outrageous. Is there some other word he should have used?

Those Gays

Al Qaeda will kill you so dead you are dead
They'll rip off your scrotum and chop off your head
Then use your remains in three nights of buffets
But that won't compare to the rage of those gays.

Al Qaeda has guys who'll shake hands and explode
Then others who'll serve up your chunks a la mode
Still more are in orbit perfecting death rays
But what you have to fear is the threat of those gays.

Al Qaeda will rip all your limbs from their sockets
And then mount your torso on Katyusha rockets
And fire you at toddlers to hearty hoorays
Still I shiver to think of the acts of those gays.

Al Qaeda's new poison will curdle your guts
Then they'll use your dead carcass to poison your mutts
Then serve up those dead dogs as poisoned parfaits
Though that's mercy compared to the plans of those gays.

--

More versification.

Know Your Audience

Frank DeMartini:

‘Midnight in Paris’ Review: Self Indulgent and Anti-Conservative

The headline: pan or paean? Apparently the main character's fiance's parents are conservative, and fun is had at their expense, which has never happened in a movie before. But here is another reason not to like it:

There is not much more I can say without giving the major plot twist away. However, I will say that the majority of jokes and dialogue require the viewer to have a strong background in the material. Anything short of that will leave the viewer perplexed and completely out of touch with the plot. In fact, when I saw the film, there were many jokes where only about five people in the audience were laughing hysterically. The remainder of the sold-out crowd just didn’t get it.

This is where the elitism and self-indulgent nature of Woody Allen shines. If you are not part of the inside joke and well aware of the literary and artistic references throughout, you will be lost. And, this, unfortunately, will be what kills this film commercially. It will play very well in intellectual centers and areas where elitism shines. But the mass general public throughout the world will almost definitely never see it.

Yes, you have to KNOW STUFF to get the jokes. How much more elitist and anti-conservative can you get? NONE MORE CAN YOU GET. I might go so far as to say that this Woody Allen film - as opposed to the Woody Allen films in which it was advantageous to know absolutely nothing - is for BOOKISH NERDS. How long can he sustain his career after such a sharp turn away from his audience of processed-cheese-food-eating NASCAR-loving hicks?

Insect Lover's Pizza

These are not the New Zealanders I know:

That's not sausage ... New Zealand man shocked when poisonous spider appears in pizza box

Adding this again because it's a great song. He seems REALLY SINCERE about the giant spiders.

The End of Factory Porn?

I've been waiting for this for a long time:

LOS ANGELES – Porn performers in California would be required to use condoms in sex scenes if draft rules from state workplace safety officials advance out of the proposal phase.

Cal/OSHA officials provided the Associated Press with a 17-page draft proposal that contained sometimes graphic details of the bodily fluids, waste matter and other materials that porn actors must protect themselves against to avoid infection.

It's been fairly insane that large employers could hire people to do stuff and thereby acquire diseases: it's stunt work. At the same time the basic behaviour - barring the insane spectacles - is what people do anyway, and people aren't going to stop filming that or selling the results. Maybe porn will wind up being made by people who like each other...or are at least in some codified relationship for the purposes of evading OSHA rules.

On the other hand there's a disgusting science fiction story in porn producers being the money behind a drive for polygamy, with the result that you literally marry into the business; might not be so bad as a retirement-via-divorce could have the performers wind up with some ongoing stipend instead of just the diseased naughty bits.

Music Corner

Exploring the results of public folder sharing in airports:

This is nice and all, but where's the new Lawrence Welk show to feature such bands?



Edie Brickell is influential I guess:



This takes until the fourth minute to justify itself...although I sure hope the kid and the relatives aren't horrible or this song will make her kill herself:



Here is a more irritating version of If I Had a Million Dollars:



I am not much of a Mountain Goats fan, but this is a sweet song about needs:



This is apparently for The People. As a people myself, NO THANK YOU.



HERE WE GO!

Torture Porn

Dig that groovy soundtrack.

Story.

The Louisiana Pancake Batfish

More new species to exterminate. I must put the leech to use somehow.

The Seven Kids

K-Lo:

Cultural conservatives tend to get smeared with being “anti-sex,” even afraid of it. (If so, I sometimes wonder where those seven kids came from.)

Those are PEZ dispensers and where did you hide the Snow White one? Also too the orderlies are requesting that you keep your gown tied.

(There's an Easter Egg of failure in her article. Can you find it?)

A Tale of Two Hollywoods

Shorter John Nolte, Editor-in-Chief of noted kook site Big Hollywood:

Larry Flynt is no free-speech hero: he just wants to make Trig jokes! Also he is a vile pornographer.

Shorter noted-kook Larry O'Connor, Editor-in-Chief of Breitbart.tv and contributor to Big Hollywood on the same goddamned day:

It is an awesome victory for free speech that our pal helped someone sue to make a gossip movie about Jennifer Lopez. Also this has nothing to do with an undoubtedly super-hot sex tape.

I am grateful or ungrateful to Dan Coyle in comments for pointing towards the fact that the "someone" wanting to make the gossip movie is the girlfriend of Lopez's ex.

German Horror Stories are Just Different

Thank you Google Translate:

Case Studies

Cat with disturbed sense of

Patient: Sheila, a tabby cat, two years old, not sterilized Living Conditions: Sheila was brought by a family from a shelter. Which has seen the cat before is not known. It was intended as a "gift" for the eight year old son. The mother of the son has an obsession with cleaning and handled with aggressive cleaning agents, it was about the cat hair so outraged that they Sheila for weeks into the bathroom locked. From a visitor Sheila was freed from this "prison" and came to cat lovers. Unfortunately, the animal was so distraught that it was found not to her new man was back and totally confused. Since the cat was chipped, it could be brought back to her family. Sheila repeats lost and did not return home. After many searches it was found. Once the new owners were in sight of the cat, she ran joyfully to their people and let carry. How was first contact the state? A customer whose sheep had been successfully treated, I gave my phone number next to the mother cat. Previously she was with a THP, the tried Bach flower remedies, to help the cat. Sheila was still not home. History: Sheila has been studied in detail. Here I use a company bioresonance Rayonex. The cat showed symptoms of poisoning. No wonder, since Sheila had to inhale the fumes for weeks of cleaning products in the bathroom. The investigation further revealed that the auditory center and the organ of balance were disturbed. This also explains the disorientation of the cat: the very good sense of direction of cats is also working with "these sonic. If a cat is not fine enough to hear more, they recognize their stored acoustic images and is not therefore no longer home. Therapy: The disorders of the ear treated with bio-resonance. To this end a special tax plan was created. This tax plan will include the harmonization of the seven main chakras. When treating the cat stretched comfortably on their mat and purred. There were two sessions of 90 minutes. In the second session (a week later) was already much interested Sheila and very lively. As long sessions only work if the correct frequencies are selected. Then the animals feel comfortable and fall asleep during treatment. Detoxification Lymphomyosot (from heel) was prescribed. Since cats do not tolerate alcohol, yes, vials were chosen, not injected, but were administered orally. The customer was instructed in the handling of the vials. Every day half a vial was administered. Initially, the feces of the cat very frothy reaction to the detoxification. After a week, could the cat be allowed outside again, she stayed only a short time out and came back each time. The days were getting longer in the open. After two weeks of the faeces was normal. Sheila can leave the house through the cat flap at any time, it is usually only two hours out there and always comes back. The customer is satisfied. Note: Those who work with bioresonance Rayonex of and interested in the special tax plan, may request to me. Natural Healing for Animals Dipl.-Ing. Ulrich Hannemann Sauer Home 29 91575 Windsbach Phone: 09871/65799-10

Attention Callista!

More Big Hollywood blather:

‘American Exposure’: Preserving Liberty On the Airwaves
by Janine Turner

If you build it, they will come.

I have been concerned about our Republic for years now. I have been bothered by the lack of true understanding about our Republic, and that included me! I read the Constitution again with my daughter during spring break a couple of years ago

Blah blah blah blah blah blah — wait, what's that author pic all about?



I am somehow compelled to investigate further...

Now obviously there's a fair bit of work going on there - I must admit to not looking the greatest before I make myself up in the morning -

but the evidence presented says PRESIDENTIAL MATERIAL. Particularly in the Republican primary. Callista: NO BOOKINGS FOR NEWT ON THE JANINE TURNER SHOW.

Works Best on Black I Think

The Wonders of the Free Market

Hooray for the Tories!

Defence Minister Peter MacKay visited Quebec's flood zone along the Richelieu River on Wednesday, as residents brace for a long cleanup, which they will have to do without any help from the military.

[..]

The Quebec government has released an exchange of letters with Ottawa, where Public Safety Minister Vic Toews said the military would not help with the cleanup.

Toews suggested that the military's role includes placing sandbags to protect property, but not picking up sandbags to clean up.

Toews also explained that the military should not stay behind because, if it performed any cleanup work, it would be competing with the private sector.

Now that flood victims have all that extra water they can just sell it to pay for water cleaner-uppers.

You Dreamed It, You Can't Undream It

Also Katy Perry soundtrack.

Callista Demons Love Dancing to Katy Perry

Okay, drag these boots down a little:







It totally works. You have to listen and watch. Plus she's CUTE!

UPONTHEDOWNSTROKEDATE!

Naturally theres a beats-per-minute calculator on the web to use for retiming Hitler's dance steps.

The Only Thing Worse Than Being Talked About NO WAIT SHUT UP

Hi there, One True Church!

The Dutch Catholic Church and the Salesian order are investigating revelations that a Salesian priest served on the board of a group that promotes pedophilia with the full knowledge of his boss.

The order's top official in the Netherlands, Delegate Herman Spronck, confirmed in a statement that the priest - identified by RTL Nieuws as 73-year-old "Father Van B." - served on the board of "Martijn," a group that campaigns to end the Dutch ban on adult-child sex.

The thing about Catholic priests is that they are advocates for justice in ALL spheres of life, no matter how young small the personal reward might be. I mean, what advantage could a PRIEST get from his role at Martijn? Vow of chastity, amirite?

What We Were Promised

This is awesome:

On the way out of office, Arnold gave silly exit interviews about how everyone expected him to be the “Governator” rather than just an ordinary governor. The expectations were just too high, he complained. But our memories aren’t that bad. We know that the promise of a “Governator” was what got him into office in the first place.

Here She Comes

Stolen from here and put through an extremely painful extrusion process which makes demons extra cranky. It's kind of like a rodeo thing.

We Girls Should Know Less

OMG K-Lo is upset about sex again!

The girls Salon dismissed, sisters Sydney and Tess Volanski — a soon-to-be high-school sophomore and freshman, respectively — left the Girl Scouts after eight years* because the organization’s current values — signaled by its ties to Planned Parenthood — clash with their own. And, yes, they set up a website about the Girl Scouts that is a little hat tip to their favorite singer: Its name, “Speak Now,” is the title of one of Swift’s songs.

[...]

Sydney tells me: “Many Girl Scouts are good, wholesome girls. The problem lies within the national organization’s leadership and its lack of adherence to its promise of neutrality.” She adds that girls often need and “should get help, but Planned Parenthood and abortion — what GSUSA is directing them to — are not help. Abortion has serious risks for women, including breast cancer, infertility, post-traumatic stress disorder, and suicide. Does this sound like help?”

Pregnancy: risk free and helpful in itself! Mind you, a more careful blogger would mention that Planned Parenthood provides a range of services that blah blah blah REPUBLICAN SMASH.

K-Lo doesn't much get into the fact that the girls are spouting horseshit. A look at the site the girls SET UP ALL BY THEMSELVES is suspiciously...well wait a minute, let me pick on K-Lo instead of a couple of kids and whoever wrote all that guff on their site.

The beginning of the rude awakening for Sydney and Tess was a graphic pamphlet produced by the International Planned Parenthood Federation, Healthy, Happy and Hot, which was reportedly distributed at the World Association of Girl Guides and Girl Scouts meeting last year.

Dear K-Lo: you are an adult and as such should be setting an example to children instead of being a big poopy-faced** liar using the word "reportedly" to get away with repeating a falsehood NOTED IN THE FUCKING SALON ARTICLE YOU LINKED TO. And quoting yourself as the "reportedly" link is, uh, unwise because you are a goddamned dimwit. Also Jackhammer Jesus gets good reviews.

*Things were so much better when I was six years old.

**Yes? No?

UPDATE!

One vote is plenty for me as I am a liberal who IGNORES ELECTION RESULTS ANYWAY! HA HA!

But no complaints please, I am still serving you, the common blog reader: ordinarily you would have to pay big money to see K-Lo shitfaced.

Feelin' Mean

News for the misanthopist:

Joseph Brooks, an Academy Award winning songwriter, was found dead in his NYC Upper East Side apartment Sunday afternoon in an apparent suicide. He was famous for writing the 1977 Oscar-winning song, "You Light Up My Life."

According to the Associated Press, Brooks, 73, "was discovered slumped over on a couch in the den, fully-clothed, with a plastic dry-cleaning bag around his head and a towel wrapped around his neck," police spokesperson Paul Browne told the AP. "A hose attached to a helium tank was hooked up to the bag; a three-page suicide note included." No details on the context of the letter have been released.

In 2009, the late musician pled not guilty to over 90 charges of rape, sexual assault, and sexual abuse, and was still awaiting trial on the allegations. The AP writes: "Prosecutors say he lured most of the women to his apartment through an online ad offering auditions for a movie role, then sexually assaulted them after making them drink apparently drugged wine as part of an "acting exercise."

How Much is a Billionaire Worth?

Brendan wrote this about Donald Trump passing up the presidency for a TV contract:

If you're a billionaire who wants to be President of the United States, you don't need "as much as" $60 million, much less spread out over the next three years. If you had a billion dollars, you'd only need to earn 2% interest on it to make "as much as" $60 million over three years.

So, he's lying about believing he could win or about how much money he has, or both. Release the long-form financial disclosure or STFU, Chump.

Yesterday at the Des Moines Register:

New York billionaire Donald Trump told Iowa Republican leaders Friday that he was “very surprised and saddened” to hear that they canceled their June 10 fundraising dinner after he told them that he no longer planned to give the keynote speech.

The cancellation came after Trump stopped toying with a presidential bid Monday, then backed out of the speaking engagement on Thursday.

On Friday, apparently stung by criticism from the spurned Iowans, Trump offered to travel to Iowa and speak if the Republicans would change their minds and hold the dinner.

“I promise you that my speech will be fantastic. My word is my bond,” he wrote to Matt Strawn, chairman of the Iowa Republican Party.

So... You figger he was getting paid for that speech?

Hiding Pays Off

The bondage scene is here where I got a fucking huge slab of meatloaf recently that kept me full for a couple of days.

The Crack List

John Nolte:

Who but the worst kind of ideological bigot wouldn’t want to work with Patricia Heaton, one of the most talented actresses to ever star in a sitcom? If an iconic Emmy winner is losing work over her perfectly reasonable right-of-center political positions, what’s life like for those just trying to break in or the 99.7% who live hand-to-mouth in this business of show.

Well yes, it is utterly terrible that Ms. Set-For-Life-On-Residuals is not getting the all the work she wants. In the item Nolte doesn't quite link to but has the gall to quote at Big Hollywood, here is how Heaton and her husband put it:

Telling me that she has many gay friends and doesn't oppose gay marriage, Patricia gets frustrated being automatically lumped together with other conservatives, a characterization she says has cost her possible work.

"We know for a fact there are some people who have said they wouldn't want to work with us because of our politics," she said, with her husband David Hunt adding, "We get lumped in with lunatics."

What on earth could David Hunt mean by lunatics?

Nolte finishes the job:

Our friends at NewsBusters have more.

I'll bet they do.

POOP

My tax dollars at work. YAY!

Vancouver punk band Living with Lions has come under fire from U.S. media following the release of its new album Holy S--- and has drawn the ire of Canadian Heritage Minister James Moore.

The album's packaging, designed to look like a Bible with faded pages, lyrics written like Bible verses and subtitled The Poo Testament, features a play on the ascension of Christ, with Jesus portrayed as a piece of excrement.

Holy S--- first drew the attention of entertainment magazine L.A. Weekly on Tuesday. The publication pointedly referred to the Canadian government's role in providing funding support for the album through FACTOR (the Foundation Assisting Canadian Talent on Recordings), the logo of which is prominently displayed on the back of the album.

The album's liner notes also acknowledge the support of the government of Canada.

"The content of this CD is offensive and the fact that it is clearly designed to offend a group of Canadians based on their faith is simply wrong," James Maunder, Moore's spokesman, said in a statement sent to the Vancouver Sun.

Then the tubby oafish and evil minister was drowned in a stream of santorum and crucifixes.

UPDATE:

Dragging the following poop stream onto one of Smut Clyde's comments would be hostile.

No I Am Not Sticking My Head In There

Santorum Slams the Traitor Peter Cetera

There are reasons.

Santorum Slams Gingrich

Illustrating the headline.

Fixed

Spotted at Susan's:



Don't knock it until you've tried it.

(Okay, I made the words real words in English.)

Bingo #3

And there is an E on the board.

Insupportable Policy Vs. Overambitious Force

EEEEEEWWWW!

Santorum slams Gingrich

Some awful person should make a gif of that. Hazy visions of a launcher coming into view...

Anyway, Little Ricky is standing up for the orthodoxy as only a guy who lost his last election can:

"Contrary to what Speaker Gingrich said yesterday, the Ryan plan does not 'suddenly impose' 'radical change,' " said Santorum. "It is a good first step toward positive reform of a program in desperate need of rescue."

Gingrich is under fire from conservatives for comments he made on NBC's "Meet the Press" over the weekend, questioning Ryan's plan.

Well wait a minute, is Santorum doing anything courageous here? Let's ask noted dumb guy Andrew Stiles:

Notice that Santorum stops short of fully endorsing Ryan’s proposal, simply calling it a “good first step toward positive reform.” Will any potential 2012 candidate dare to go all in on the Ryan budget?

Hey dumb guy, quite right! Which candidate has the fortitude to take the kiss of death offered up by Republican darling Paul Ryan? Or, um,

the craven cowardice? Which one wins the primaries and which one takes the election? Newt and Mitt have this figured out: say the opposite thing when required.

Wicked Witchcraft

From the Washington Post:

TEHRAN – Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad came under new pressure Sunday, as an influential cleric charged that he has been “bewitched” by a controversial senior aide and key lawmakers renewed their impeachment threat.

Ahmadinejad is behaving “unnaturally” and needs to be “saved,” Ayatollah Mohammad Taghi Mesbah Yazdi, a former supporter of the president, told the weekly Shoma magazine.

The cleric said Ahmadinejad’s top adviser, Esfandiar Rahim Mashaei, has used has hypnotism, spells or charms to take control of Iran’s elected leader. “I am almost certain that he has been bewitched,” Yazdi said.

If I were Ayatollah Mohammad Taghi Mesbah Yazdi I would be guarding my penis against theft. I recommend a round-the-clock eyewitness vigil by incorruptible holy men.

Walking Around Town

A green roof.

Libertarians Я Dumb

Good old Ron Paul.

Linking to mikey even though he uses that crappy comment form.

POOP

The Olympic-related Biennale is winding up in June and most of the pieces will be gone. I am partial to Ceramic Forms.

Psychedelia

Recycling Will Save Destroy the Earth

Let's Roll

Callista's head and hair is awfully circular. I intended to add it in comments to a now-vanished (I think) post at Rising Hegemon.

The large version:



Also:

Funny Althouse hijinx.

Is It Over?

Leftist Marriage Doesn't Work

Nancy French at the Corner:

But William and Kate hadn’t even had time to return the duplicate toaster gifts to Harrod’s, when our collective marriage-euphoria was punctured by news of the dissolution of the marriage of Arnold Schwarzenegger and Maria Shriver.

[..]

And it looked like it was working. It was one of Hollywood’s longest marriages, a left-right pairing (or really left-far-left pairing) for which everyone rooted.

Can there be any peace in a Richard Cohen/Matthew Yglesias marriage?

A Little Knowledge: Good or Bad?

Andrew Stiles:

Now, heartless Republicans have their sights set on the mimes and accordionists of the world:

A Republican lawmaker on Wednesday grilled the chairman of the National Endowment of the Arts over grants to San Francisco mimes and an international accordion festival.

In this case I'd have to say that it's a good thing that Stiles knows so little that he falls back on the easy mime joke.

Psst! Saw the Mime Troupe once at Children's Fairyland where they TURNED ALL THE KIDS GAY.

Coalition Politics is Hard

You are what you define yourself to be:

Nick Clegg has backed a decision by the home secretary, Theresa May, not to open Britain's borders to migrants fleeing the turmoil in Libya and North Africa.

[...]

Clegg paid tribute to the 1951 UN convention on refugees, saying it had saved millions of lives and adding that "the measure of any civilised society is how it treats the voiceless".

Apparently British vessels have been launching Tomahawk missiles at Libya. They cost over a half-million dollars per unit, which is expensive, so it is understandable that getting refugees housed and fed is beyond the UK's means in the present time of austerity.

Inspirational Writings

Get the fucking poem writ
Just sit right down and type the shit
And make it motherfucking rhyme
Lest your fat ass find it's kicking time

--

Left here for some reason.

Sex: BAD

Jeannie DeAngelis:

Who better to expound on the institution of marriage than a promiscuous, never-been-married Hollywood liberal out promoting a movie about an oversexed teacher “saving up cash for a boob job?”

I dunno Jeannie? WHO? Newt Gingrich?* The Pope? YOU?

[Cameron] Diaz’s thoughts on traditional marriage were a perfect promotional segue for her new movie “Bad Teacher.” After demeaning a God-ordained institution, wanton schoolmarm Diaz set her sights on glorifying her role as a bawdy middle school teacher who probably makes child predator/stellar educators Mary Kay Letourneau and Debra LaFave both look like Teacher of the Year.

“Lying seductively across a desk in a thigh-high miniskirt and red stilettos in a clutter-filled classroom,” Cameron graced the pages of the rude men’s magazine [Maxim]. Referring to the movie “Bad Teacher,” the publication declares: “It’s not every day that one of the world’s biggest movie stars offers to fulfill your schoolboy fantasies. But then Cameron Diaz is not your average movie star… Miss Diaz, we’ve been bad, bad boys!”

Thank you Jeannie DeAngelis, I am now convinced that I should spend no more time on Cameron Diaz than, um, the budget and the bandwidth allows for. Oh, and marriage is, um, I forget. Sexy teacherish or something?

*Not stolen wholesale from Thundra in comments I swear!

Lives of Quiet Desperation

Click if you must:

Career possibilities

• Accountant
• Events Coordinator
• Computer & Network Security Manager
• Urban Planner
• Financial Analyst
• Project Manager
• Library Technician
• Strategic Planner
• Tourism Manager

The Flash banner at the site has a cute girl smiling in the breeze. She is beyond your reach, Mr. Conventional.

Jokes

Ezra Dulls:

[...] here are some highlights of the “jokes” [Seth] Meyers almost used onstage [at the White House Correspondents' Dinner]:

• So, have you heard about those Republicans? Yeah, I hate them and I think they’re stupid.
• The funniest thing about Obama is how SO MANY people don’t get how cool and smart and physically attractive he is.
• Q: Why did the blonde get confused by an ordinary household object? A: Cuz she was a Republican. And Republicans are stupid.
• “Knock knock.” “Who’s there?” “Republicans.” “Republicans who?” “Republicans sure are stupid and evil.”
• So, a Republican walks into a bar, and I get super upset.
• A black man, a Hispanic, and a Jew enter a bar. They all say in turn, “Voting Republican would make us traitors to our races!”
• So, what’s the deal with the Tea Party? Is it racist, or is it SUPER racist?

My apologies, his last name is spelled DULIS.

Does the following make more sense now?



Also two jokes walk into a bar. The bartender says DON'T TRY ANYTHING FUNNY.

Hail

The weather has gone funny again, which gives me an excuse to post a video with a soundtrack extracted from the never-ending bus-and-now-plane project.



Spot the guest vocal appearance! No no, not The McGravitas Attention Span, he never makes it to the studio on time.

Odin is a Four-Letter Word

From a review of Thor by some Big Hollywood dope:

The crash rendered him without his magical hammer named Mjolnir (what IS it with all the convoluted names, too? They’re hard to understand, which only adds to the emotional coldness of the film)

I do not know: what is that about? WHY DID THEY CHOOSE THOSE FUNNY NAMES FOR THINGS?

In other Big Hollywood news, Kurt Loder thinks a gig is a gig I guess.

The First Problem

John Nolte:

There are two major problems with director Peter Weir’s “The Way Back,” a film “inspired” by the incredible story of seven prisoners who escape from a Soviet gulag circa 1940 only to discover that 4500 miles of hostile terrain lies between them and freedom. The first problem is that the story feels like one big anachronism. We’re twenty-plus years past the Cold War and, in the form of Islamic terrorism, facing an entirely new and different kind of evil. The point of telling this story decades after it might have actually done some good for the millions who died in these Siberian death camps is never made clear.

Anti-Socialist Anti-Islamist Realism is a stern taskmaster.

What Might Have Been

Yesterday in non-news:

Former Van Halen singer Sammy Hagar says he was offered the chance to replace Steven Tyler as the frontman of Aerosmith but that he turned down the opportunity because it would have been a difficult transition.

Hagar tells Forbes magazine he has been approached over the years to join a string of top bands. "I was asked at one time to be in Motley Crue," he says. "I was asked at one time to be in Pantera by their managers. I was asked to be in Velvet Revolver when Scott Weiland quit."

[...]

Hagar suggests he would not have done Tyler's distinctive vocals justice, and takes a swipe at David Lee Roth, the man he replaced in Van Halen. He adds, "It was easy because Dave wasn't a great singer."

Other groups Sammy Hagar passed up:

Devo
The Travelling Wilburys
White Stripes



Come on lil' Piplups! I know you can poop on Sammy's head if you try.

The Best Places to Mother

Source.

Up Next: Weaponized Jokes

Here is a headline, the gravity of which is making my monitor tilt:

Shocker: ‘Daily Show’ Writer Wrote Obama’s Trump Attack

Hey, maybe BH was being a little jokey, but um, probably not.

Well That Was Surprising

Tory majority. We'll suffer through four or five years of penny-pinching mean-spiritedness for masses, buying fighter jets and building prisons so the elite can feel powerful. How bad can it get? I am not really sure of that.

Of course I blame the Green Party.

The Bottom Twenty

In one of those relentless updates to iTunes in which nothing good happens an at-work library file was lost (although songs were not). So for some completely stupid reason I decided the songs re-imported into the library, being relatively new adds, should all be listened to five times as most of the others were well worn. The task is almost finished, and these songs are the bottom 20 that the iTunes shuffle left until last.

So iTunes discriminates against nostalgia in general and country music in particular.

Free At Last | Antony & The Johnsons
Fratres | Arvo Pärt
Tabula Rasa | Arvo Pärt
When I'm Sixty-Four | The Beatles
On To the Show | The Beau Hunks
Under the Anheuser Busch | Billy Murray
Mental Cruelty | Buck Owens and Rose Maddox (substitute hasn't got the verve)
Le Freak | Chic
Marriage | DRI
Miller's Cave | Hank Snow
What's The Good Word Mr. Bluebird? | The Hoosier Hot Shots (no suitable link exists so here is a horrifying video)
El Pito (I'll Never Go Back To Georgia) | Joe Cuba
What's Golden | Jurassic 5
Mama Tried | Merle Haggard
Where Eagles Dare | Misfits
(You've Got) The Magic Touch | The Platters
Next To You | The Police
Poor Folks Town | Porter Wagoner & Dolly Parton
Beat On The Brat | Ramones
How My Yodelling Days Began | Wilf Carter (you'll have to make do with a song about a DEAD DOG)

Voting Day

Remind T&U. The lovely daughter will be helping me vote, and she has been trained to say "Conservatives are mean" in the cutest way possible.

Free Time Sweepstakes

All sounds courtesy an alternate version of this, which I heard recently and thought would be easy to chop up and reorganize since it's pretty much a one-key bluesy jam. Turns out my attention span is not quite up to recomposing it; I found a bit I liked and stuck with it. Feel free to add DOPE RHYMES.

Photoshopportunities

A headline:

Breitbart Dominates Maher on 'Real Time'

Video at the link, if you have the strength for it. I do not.

Problem Solved!

Some follow-up:

The spate of suicides made headlines around the world. Last May, seven young Chinese workers producing Apple iPads for consumers across the globe took their own lives, prompting an investigation into working conditions at the Foxconn factory in Shenzhen, southern China.

[...]

One year on, swaths of anti-suicide netting surround the huge worker dormitories in Shenzhen.

It's all about innovation.

Maybe they could clean out that netting though.