Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Top One Writing Device That's Really Darned Complicated

Need a list? Here is another one from John Hawkins:
Five Things Children Know That Liberals Have Forgotten
And here are the initial items, less the explanatory craziness:
1) Life's not fair.
2) You can't have everything you want.
3) Good people make the world work.
Yes, no liberal could possibly understand any of those things which is why 1) no compensatory social programs exist anywhere 2) all liberals have sailed their dance-party yachts to tropical Orgasmodrugtopia and 3) oh for fuck's sake. Let us to proceed to item #4.
4) Liberals think EVERYONE should get a trophy.
Yes, the children know that liberals think everyone should get a trophy and the liberals have forgotten that they think everyone should get a trophy.

There is another item but it is too embarrassed to appear.

15 comments:

ckc (not kc) said...

...one thing that children know that wingnuts have forgotten

1. if you behave like an asshole, sooner or later you'll have the shit kicked out of you

wiley said...

Not TOO embarrassed. It showed up there:

"Nobody owes you a living." Haven't we all heard children saying this?

Substance McGravitas said...

They usually say that after saying that they're STAAAAARRRRving.

ckc (not kc) said...

I like

7. I'm bored!

vacuumslayer said...

I actually considered doing an all list blog a bit back. Suddenly I'm feeling so embarrassed. Although obviously my lists wouldve been much more substantive. I would have perhaps rated "Charlie's Angels" casts by hairstyle. Now that would have been some good listing...and probably would have made more sense than this list.

BTW, I distinctly recall 6 year old me never wanting to be Kelly--I was pretty sure she was on food stamps. Even at that tender age I had an opinion on liberals.

vacuumslayer said...

Oh, btw, I thought you'd get a kick out of this...so I guess my mother finally persuaded my brother to join Facebook. First two things he posts on his wall? A picture of Glen Danzig and a Slayer video.

L
O
L

Smut Clyde said...

#6. We're going to be there soon, just round the next corner.

Smut Clyde said...

1) Life's not fair.
2) You can't have everything you want.


John Hawkins probably has no idea how well he is capturing the literary voice of Homer Simpson.

1) Kids, you tried your best, and you failed miserably. The lesson is: never try.
2) Trying is the first step towards failure.

Substance McGravitas said...

I realize that I have forgotten to push that thing over to the fridge and climb on it to get the cookies that are hidden up on top there.

Kiddie knowledge pays off!

Another Kiwi said...

Hawkins say;and if, God forbid, you do fall on hard times and take government assistance, have the common decency to feel a deep sense of shame for leeching off your betters instead of paying your own way.
"Betters"?. It can only be a chemical imbalance in his brain, no normal human, attempting to show that Liberals are morons, would make that statement.

Substance McGravitas said...

A picture of Glen Danzig and a Slayer video.

I hope your brother remembers this for Christmas.

M. Bouffant said...

Life is arbitrary, damnit, not "unfair."

[stamping feet] It's you stinking humans who are unfair!!

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

7(A.M.): Dog O'Clock is early in the morning.
~

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

P.S. I'll just leave this here.
~

tigris said...

1) Life's not fair.
You always say that then take biggest piece of cake.
2) You can't have everything you want.
I'll ask Santa!
3) Good people make the world work.
One day I'll die and THEN YOU'LL BE SORRY.
and...
Nobody owes you a living.
I didn't ASK to be born.