Wednesday, February 8, 2012

Wanna make money in Hollywood?

News!
Wanna make money in Hollywood? Release patriotic movies that promote conservative values and do not denigrate Christianity.

For two decades, that has been the message Movieguide has been pushing, and on Friday, Feb. 10, when it celebrates its 20-year anniversary with an awards show airing on The Hallmark Channel, the organization will present a 76-page report designed to back up its assertions.

This year’s report sells for $1,000, and the price includes tickets to the annual Faith & Values Awards Gala held at the Universal Hilton Hotel in Los Angeles. The report praises such 2011 releases as Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close, Battle: Los Angeles, Moneyball, We Bought a Zoo and Hugo while heaping scorn on the likes of Super 8, Red State, A Good Old Fashioned Orgy, We Need to Talk About Kevin, Bad Teacher and Happy Feet Two.

10 comments:

wiley said...

This so reminds me of Cartman winning the Myrrh award with his Christian rock band.

Substance McGravitas said...

It seems like such an easy gig. You'd be fleecing the sheep and nobody else takes that shit seriously, right? Right?

Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

Being burdened with a conscience is really affecting my bottom line!

mikey said...

Super 8, Red State, A Good Old Fashioned Orgy, We Need to Talk About Kevin, Bad Teacher and Happy Feet Two

Wait. What?

Srsly, one of these is not like the others..

fish said...

Wanna make money in Hollywood? Release patriotic movies that promote conservative values and do not denigrate Christianity.

Remember when An American Carol made mountains of money? Yeah, me either.

vacuumslayer said...

What's the criteria for "conservative?" Going by conservative reviews I've read before that pretty much means "any movie that has not environmental message* that I liked" And then they'll simply twist the movie's meaning to fit their conservative doctrine.

*for some reason movies with any sort of earth-friendly message seems to turn them into raving lunatics

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

*for some reason movies with any sort of earth-friendly message seems to turn them into raving lunatics

algore algore algore!!!!
~

Substance McGravitas said...

What's the criteria for "conservative?" Going by conservative reviews I've read before that pretty much means "any movie that has not environmental message* that I liked" And then they'll simply twist the movie's meaning to fit their conservative doctrine.

Like that one about the dense guy from the sticks who gets involved in all sorts of history and gets wounded in a war and stuff? Yeah, anything with Hitler works.

mikey said...

I especially liked "Needles and Yarns of the Reich: Hitlers socks, and the conspiracy to darn them".

That was some happening shit. It always pays to check out the Hitler channel...

wiley said...

“Most moviegoers want good to conquer evil, truth to triumph over falsehood, justice to prevail over injustice and true beauty to overcome ugliness,” Movieguide editor Ted Baehr writes in the report.

Oh. Supermen and fantasy, children's movies and fantasies.

They don't wanna grow up...

"girvag"? One can only speculate.