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RAGE BEFORE BEAUTY
About Me
Blog Archive
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2010
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March
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- Bottoms Up!
- Municipal Problems
- Mighty Struggles With the Text-to-Path Button
- Hillary Clinton Kicking Ass
- Also the First Brown-Backed Pelican in Jordan
- Looksism
- Something About Celebrities = News
- Filed For Later Use
- Let Us Journey Through the Mists of Time
- One Suit to Rule Them All
- Persecution
- A Pat On the Head
- Neu!
- The Craft of Writing
- An Infinity Amount of Dollars
- Three for Four
- Test
- Stuck In My Head
- A Civil War
- News From the In-Box
- Podcasts Without ЗОРБ Content
- The Invasion of Russia
- The Mail
- Winning The Internet
- The Trail of the Lonesome Pine
- Subtlety
- Speaking of Cheap Stuff...
- Bing Still Exists
- Truly Mindbending Trolling
- What the Founders Believed
- Feature or Bug?
- Meme Research
- Old Guy News
- What's Important
- Emissions Controls
- Time to Panic!
- Life Asea
- Another Catastrophe Averted!
- All Our Porblems Solved
- Orly!
- Forcing Is The Issue
- Frank Capra Directs Chinatown
- The Elderly: Fit To Zorb?
- Zombie Pocahontas Rises Again
- L'art de zorb
- Ron Artest's Hair
- Takebacko, The Dog-Poop-Eating Dog!
- The Jet Set
- The Art of Subtitling
- Bad Roy! Bad!
- The Loneliest Zorb
- The Banker
- Stolen From BBBB
- Led Up a Totem Pole
- Improvements
- A Nut
- RIPPED OFF
- Speaking As a Parent
- Canadiana
- ZORBS!
- John Lott One-Upped
- What Is It With the Fake Vets?
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March
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Free Things
For most folks:
Edit images with The GIMP
Draw with Inkscape
Record and edit sound with Audacity
Make nonsense with JanusNode
Replace Microsoft shit
Here are around 2000 rss feeds for your reader of choice.
For Mac folks:
Edit text with Textwrangler
Everything is easier with Quicksilver
For Windows folks:
Automate everything with AutoHotkey
Use Launchy instead of navigating folders
Edit images with The GIMP
Draw with Inkscape
Record and edit sound with Audacity
Make nonsense with JanusNode
Replace Microsoft shit
Here are around 2000 rss feeds for your reader of choice.
For Mac folks:
Edit text with Textwrangler
Everything is easier with Quicksilver
For Windows folks:
Automate everything with AutoHotkey
Use Launchy instead of navigating folders
8 comments:
Our friendly orbs would never imprison a granny like that.
~
Zorbing can make you like Jesus.
Grannies now providing security in The Village?
Siddown, Granny. Just a routine debrief. You know the drill. Want coffee?
Nah, I'm good to go. Got a cigarette?
Sure. Let's get started then. Tell me what happened.
Ok. I was on routine counter-propaganda ops in my Zorb on south beach. The perp...
Uh, granny, we haven't even identified him yet.
Sure, whatever. The alleged perp ran across the beach, saying something about capitalism being evil. Well, pursuant to my role in society, I steered my zorb over to question the miscreant.
What did you observe that you felt provided probable cause?
He clearly wanted the government to fuck around with medicare.
How did you reach this conclusion, granny?
HELL--OHHH! I'm a fucking granny? What part of that are you missing, sonny? You got some kind of disability?
Ok, granny. What happened next?
Well, the perp said some things I'll not repeat, so I killed the little fuck. Self defense. QED.
Ok. Sorry to take up your time. You're free to go.
You will be releasing my zorb from impound, won'tcha sonny?
[Sighs] Yes granny. Your zorb is released to your custody...
Note the damning absence of turn signals on the zorb.
Paying for a child-size zorb ride might be a little bit cheaper but it is a false economy because WON'T FIT PROPERLY.
Note the damning absence of turn signals on the zorb.
And yet somehow it still managed to slowly roll 15 miles in a straight line while signaling a left turn the whole time.
Stranded on the sands of time
thirsting for a gin and lime
I couldn't know that there was a ban
On protest, patrolled by a Gran
So when my voice in anger was raised for a drink that might be tangy
I was run over by a Granny
Heart and lungs both were smashed
Kidney and liver, were just braised.
Hopes of a drink were completely dashed .
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