Monday, March 8, 2010

The Elderly: Fit To Zorb?

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ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

Our friendly orbs would never imprison a granny like that.

J— said...

Zorbing can make you like Jesus.

M. Bouffant said...

Grannies now providing security in The Village?

mikey said...

Siddown, Granny. Just a routine debrief. You know the drill. Want coffee?

Nah, I'm good to go. Got a cigarette?

Sure. Let's get started then. Tell me what happened.

Ok. I was on routine counter-propaganda ops in my Zorb on south beach. The perp...

Uh, granny, we haven't even identified him yet.

Sure, whatever. The alleged perp ran across the beach, saying something about capitalism being evil. Well, pursuant to my role in society, I steered my zorb over to question the miscreant.

What did you observe that you felt provided probable cause?

He clearly wanted the government to fuck around with medicare.

How did you reach this conclusion, granny?

HELL--OHHH! I'm a fucking granny? What part of that are you missing, sonny? You got some kind of disability?

Ok, granny. What happened next?

Well, the perp said some things I'll not repeat, so I killed the little fuck. Self defense. QED.

Ok. Sorry to take up your time. You're free to go.

You will be releasing my zorb from impound, won'tcha sonny?

[Sighs] Yes granny. Your zorb is released to your custody...

Substance McGravitas said...

Note the damning absence of turn signals on the zorb.

Smut Clyde said...

Paying for a child-size zorb ride might be a little bit cheaper but it is a false economy because WON'T FIT PROPERLY.

tigris said...

Note the damning absence of turn signals on the zorb.

And yet somehow it still managed to slowly roll 15 miles in a straight line while signaling a left turn the whole time.

Another Kiwi said...

Stranded on the sands of time
thirsting for a gin and lime
I couldn't know that there was a ban
On protest, patrolled by a Gran
So when my voice in anger was raised for a drink that might be tangy
I was run over by a Granny
Heart and lungs both were smashed
Kidney and liver, were just braised.
Hopes of a drink were completely dashed .