Wednesday, March 24, 2010

The Craft of Writing

I hope that if I ever attempt to make a buck writing stuff - and try to sell myself in public as a writer - I avoid similes such as the closer here:
Lastly, a blackly comic punchline. A spec script I have been laboring on for eighteen months, my fourth, is finally wrapping this week and going to market after rewrites based on coverage. That’s why I’ve been mostly MIA as of late. I know. Alex Perez, aka Hollywood Scab Writer, probably has a better shot at the Biz than I will after this. But I’m a writer. I write. Telling me to stop writing is like telling a charter NAMBLA Member in Good Standing to lay off the young boys. It ain’t happening.
Yes, my friends, that is Digitial Jornal and Big Hollywood contributor John T. Simpson, who was once caught mocking you - yes YOU - for being unwilling to sodomize fictional characters for justice.

Now please comment for I crave comments just as sexy librarians crave submission to adult babies.

This guy in a diaper? HOT.

29 comments:

commie atheist said...

"Now please comment for I crave comments just as sexy librarians crave submission to adult babies."

No way. I'm not gonna be your co-dependent.

Oh, wait...

commie atheist said...

Oh, and also...

Assraping in the defense of liberty is no vice.

tigris said...

just as sexy librarians crave submission to adult babies.

Mr Smacky McYardstick says you meant FROM.

Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

sexy librarians crave submission to adult babies

Memo to self- buy diapers.

NutellaonToast said...

Damn it commie, that was my gig. Just for that, I'm not going to comment, either.

Substance McGravitas said...

Almost THE ENTIRE WORLD is not commenting here! I have to be close to some sort of record, at least close in the way that a fursuit might bunch up against the genitalia of an eager albino.

mikey said...

Oh! Hi Substance. I've just been over at that other place where the rest of the world comments. Man, that's one helluva cool place over there. So, what's going on over here?

"Rewrites based on coverage?" What the hell does that even mean? I reckon a spec script is a piece of slashfic dood wrote on a lonely weekend X bender, and the whole NAMBLA line is trying to appeal to the site's core audience, but c'mon, coverage of what? The script doesn't COVER enough? So he wanted to rewrite it so it COVERED more? That's just stoopid....

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

Not a comment.
~

Another Kiwi said...

"Coverage issues" = fanboy fiction about Jessica Alba.
He's trying to get google traffic from the resplendent Righties who like to google for that boy love organization

Smut Clyde said...

Unlike SMcG who is obviously not laying out the Google Search Bait AT ALL.

Dragon-King Wangchuck said...

There's a silver lining here thought:
1. Working on scripts means that John T. Simpson doesn't have the time to spew his godawful inanities into the intartubules.
2. John T. Simpson is as addicted to writing scripts as he is to ass-raping young boys.
3. Profit!

mikey said...

Y'know, not to go all random/meta/tangential onya or nuthin, but I've always wondered about the whole "Silver Lining" deal. I mean, some linings are good, and some would suck, and I'm thinking that silver would be cold, heavy and only worth a couple bucks. Wool/Hairshirt would be really bad, as would burlap and lettuce.

Flannel would be very hard to beat, except maybe by rabbit fur, except in the summer, when some cotton might be the best way to go. But let's face it, there's a real limit to how successfully one can improve one's quality of life with linings. It is truly mere tinkering around the margins...

J— said...

Comments are overrated.

Smut Clyde said...

If you leave the original lining, it goes bad after a few days and the smell attracts unwelcome attention from the neighbours.

mikey said...

You mean above and beyond the Ricin, Crank and Flatulence?

Substance McGravitas said...

Wool/Hairshirt would be really bad, as would burlap and lettuce.

You'd go for the lettuce linings if you were a bunny.

mikey said...

I call Lining Relativism! Not gonna do it.

Wouldn't be prudent...

Another Kiwi said...

Wouldn't silver lined clouds, you know, plummet?
Not that we on the edge of the world can get anything except lead lined clouds, anyway.

Substance McGravitas said...

It is the Lefty Hollywood establishment that is totally fucked, ideologically floundering and completely out of touch with the American people.

Wasn't it another record box-office year again or something? Too dildo-wetsuited to look it up.

ckc (not kc) said...

...all of my best floundering is ideological (I've got the ribbons to prove it)

Smut Clyde said...

Don't start the fish puns!

M. Bouffant said...

another record box-office year again or something?

Possibly, but it's inflation: prices are approaching absurd, 'specially the 3-D Avatar admission.

See how many seats were filled, not what it cost the suckers.

And don't confuse screen-typing w/ actual writing, even if money is being made. Don't even confuse it w/ blog-typing.

Substance McGravitas said...

http://boxofficemojo.com/yearly/

Brando said...

I find it funny how, in talking about how The Green Zone is a failure for the Left, they don't talk about how the stinking box office taint of An American Carol must therefore be a rejection of conservatism.

Another Kiwi said...

Yikesamerican Carol is Baaaad.

fish said...

Zucker laments that the audience for this type of film is the type that waits for it to be available on DVD.

that is put into the DVD player by the orderly every day at 3:30pm.

Kathleen said...

that dude with the arm tattoo is HOT! where can I get this book?

Substance McGravitas said...

Reviews even!

Jennifer said...

The image reminds me of fish's old library post.