Bottoms Up!

Alicia Colon really writes this:

I quoted several incidents against conservatives and I also mentioned how liberals poo-pooed Eric Cantor’s statement that bullets had hit his office. Since then, his life has been threatened on a You Tube video, and an arrest has been made [...]

Okay, Alicia Colon writes "poo-pooed" at Big Journalism. THAT IS A SCORE. But it's the internet, and multimedia is required:

I wait in vain for an apology from these bloggers. Meanwhile, let’s take a look at some famous examples of leftist violence. Here’s Chicago, 1968:

Yes friends, that is the picture she uses, and she happily follows that with moving pictures that also feature cops beating the shit out of people. And all of it is just a teaser for her column elsewhere called “When it comes to Hate Speech and Violence, Liberals Rule.”

Municipal Problems

Pity the citizens of Slavyansk:



I recommend




ЗОРБ

Mighty Struggles With the Text-to-Path Button

Messers Smut and J— have found that the Vatican gets to make money. Lookit.

HEADS:



TAILS:



EATEN TO THE BUNCH.

My consolation prize:



Thanks Smut!

Hillary Clinton Kicking Ass

It's true:

At the closing news conference, Ms. Clinton was asked about Canada's signature G8 initiative on child and maternal health care in the Third Word. The Conservatives have come under heavy criticism for refusing to say if the plan would fund family planning programs that might include abortion.

Ms. Clinton didn't mince words.

“You cannot have maternal health without reproductive health. And reproductive health includes contraception and family planning and access to legal, safe abortion,” she said.

Also the First Brown-Backed Pelican in Jordan

Looksism

UPDATE:

Something About Celebrities = News

Your liberal media fighting for your interests:

As envelopes fat and thin fill the mailboxes of hopeful college seniors around the country, it's important to remember that acceptance to a certain school does not guarantee wild wealth, international stardom, knighthood or all of the above. With some colleges accepting less than ten percent of their applicants, there are BOUND to be brilliant minds in the reject pool -- here's proof.

Then follows a twelve-frame photo essay in which we learn that Steven Spielberg didn't get into USC for film, Katie Couric didn't get into Smith, and ten other famous people DID NOT GET INTO HARVARD. Unlike you and I and most of the rest of humanity, all of those depicted avoided moonshine, Oxycontin and sex in a trailer park with the stupid cousin THUS NOT PROVING AT ALL the thesis that "acceptance to a certain school does not guarantee wild wealth" and so forth.

Filed For Later Use

Via TPM this is a picture of Bernie Zadrowski, politician and not James Bond villain:

Let Us Journey Through the Mists of Time

Indeed it does, stupidly-named person! Indeed it does! Further then, onwards, upstream against the rushing torrents of time...



Now the character depicted is a big dummy, but let us not discount his pernicious influence on the big dummies reading him.

One Suit to Rule Them All

Spencer Kornhaber has a great gig:

Apparently encouraged by all the attention she received after amending her Taitz v. Obama complaint earlier this week to whack the health-care reform bill (before it was even signed into law!), Orly Taitz, the Queen of the Birthers, has filed a motion to become the Queen of the Health-Care Lawsuits.

Yesterday, a D.C. court docketed the Laguna Niguel dentist's motion asking to consolidate the much-publicized lawsuit of 13 state attorneys general against the health-care reform act with her own lawsuit, which was originally filed to challenge the president's eligibility for office.

Filing's at the link.

Persecution

Adam Baldwin:

Exploiting the “gay marriage” hot button, [Sarah Silverman] said, “If you’re getting married today, it’s the equivalent of joining a country club that doesn’t allow blacks or Jews.” That fashionable meme crudely diminishes the centuries of slaughter, persecution, desperate hardships and struggles of both blacks and Jews the world over.

Gay folks were apparently busy having centuries of fabulous parties.

In further Big Hollywood news via Mr. Atrios this interview with Victoria Jackson is a gem.

A Pat On the Head

At the Chronicle of Higher Education:

What is the most interesting "trick" you have seen faculty members use to bargain for better student evaluations?

Comment #1:

Being honest with them??

Neu!

Loop on.

The Craft of Writing

I hope that if I ever attempt to make a buck writing stuff - and try to sell myself in public as a writer - I avoid similes such as the closer here:

Lastly, a blackly comic punchline. A spec script I have been laboring on for eighteen months, my fourth, is finally wrapping this week and going to market after rewrites based on coverage. That’s why I’ve been mostly MIA as of late. I know. Alex Perez, aka Hollywood Scab Writer, probably has a better shot at the Biz than I will after this. But I’m a writer. I write. Telling me to stop writing is like telling a charter NAMBLA Member in Good Standing to lay off the young boys. It ain’t happening.

Yes, my friends, that is Digitial Jornal and Big Hollywood contributor John T. Simpson, who was once caught mocking you - yes YOU - for being unwilling to sodomize fictional characters for justice.

Now please comment for I crave comments just as sexy librarians crave submission to adult babies.

This guy in a diaper? HOT.

An Infinity Amount of Dollars

Just go see the OC Weekly for some Orly yuks. No squeeky yet unfortunately.

Three for Four

It's a pope-hat-trick in the religion news. Not as bad as the Muslims though. Whew!

Test

Stuck In My Head

I shouldn't have looked up that other SCTV stuff because 5 Neat Guys won't get out of my head. Then I forget what few lyrics are on offer in these videos and I start humming whatever sentences come to mind like "Please Don't Eat The Turtle In The Icebox" or "I'd Sleep With Any Girl I've Ever Talked To" - write what you know I say - and then the people on the bus look at me funny. But I get my own seat.

A Civil War

Gary Graham:

Ironic, isn’t it? The people who pledged to unite America…have divided it to a point not seen since the Civil War.

I realize the Civil War is a big deal to conservative folks FOR SOME REASON but I recall from my youth actual violence over actual policies. A further investigation of The Internet reveals that after the Civil War some Americans remained less, um, enfranchised than others, and sometimes violence would happen over these divisions. That's right, I'm talking about THE GREEKS.

Anyway, there is not a god-damned bit of proof that America is more divided than it ever has been since the Civil War and Takebacko, The Dog-Poop-Eating Dog DEMANDS THAT YOU EAT YOUR OWN POOP!

News From the In-Box

When Truthers and Birthers are manipulated, WHO WILL SEE THE REAL CONSPIRACY???

Podcasts Without ЗОРБ Content

Certain bastards may be interested in PRI's The World in Words this week, which has some bits on the Irish language.

The Invasion of Russia

ЗОРБ

C'mon, Google!

The ЗОРБ image search is awfully productive...

ЗUPDATE!

The Mail

I get mail from The American Spectator:

The Spectator's masthead is comprised of aggressive young writers and famously influential veterans skilled at making the independent conservative case.

These are men and women with courage, talent, and formidable literary or journalistic clout. Whether through wit, humor, or laser-precision facts, these fine writers uncover the veil of secrecy behind the left's shenanigans.

By the standards of a team of Berkeley psychologists, the Spectator's stubborn biases are unquestionably pathological. Nevertheless, a partial listing:

It's an affirmative action thing.

Winning The Internet

In the field of rotating eyebrows, I WIN.



FUCK YOU BING. Er, wait, what was that first one again?



The thought came from this thread, which starts off considering just how crazy it seems to oldsters to have instant access to useful information and then moved on to how terrible it might be that we have forgotten to like drinking piña coladas and gettin' caught in the rain and instead masturbate and LOL.

Later on there's a BIG COMPANIES CONTROL THE MEANS OF PRODUCTION argument, which is fine, but one person seemed to think that Google was a portal to all the world's information, which is a misunderstanding, I think, of the creative and social aspects of the internet as opposed to its archiving side. The folks I follow around the internet I follow because they did something I liked, not because of Google hits, and there was the suggestion that an absence of a listing on Google would put me at some sort of disadvantage. It seems pretty obvious to me that if I get traffic Google's got nothing to do with it. But I could be wrong.

Are there people that come to this site via a search for rotating eyebrows or zorbing grannies? If so, WELCOME.

The Trail of the Lonesome Pine

The first one's never going to leave me.



Wikipedia says something kooky:

"The Trail of the Lonesome Pine" has been recorded numerous times, probably most notably by Laurel and Hardy, and was featured in their 1937 film Way Out West. This version was also released as a single in 1975 in the UK, where it reached number 2 in the charts. The song was also recorded by Vivian Stanshall, the English frontman of the Bonzo Dog Doo-Dah Band.

Subtlety

Although Sean Penn has the reputation of being a fine actor, I’ve never shared that opinion and regard his acting as overrated. His early performance in “Fast Times at Ridgemont High” as stoner Jeff Spicoli is regarded fondly by those with sophomoric comedic taste but my taste prefers more subtlety.

I'll bet it does, Alicia Colon, I'll bet it does.

Speaking of Cheap Stuff...

Low low budget, hideous laugh track, very very funny.

Bing Still Exists

It isn't much good.

Truly Mindbending Trolling

Posted On: Monday, Mar. 15 2010 @ 5:08PM

squeeky fromm says:

I guess she "deserves it" for standing up for our country and standing up to the male-dominated power system. Look how this article trashes Dr. Taitz and marginalizes her as a woman just for having a mind of her own:

1. Hilarious Haters - Dr. Taitz isn’t “serious” ---- She’s hilarious. She travels all over the country trying to remove the alleged president, spends her own money, and now has to spend another $20,000, but yet she is just “hilarious” and a “hater.”

2. “Rambling” Complaint—Just because she is a woman and more “detail oriented” than the little grunty MaleBeasts, she is “rambling.” The complaint is very professional and detail filled.

3. Sexually Transmitted Disease Stereotype — Read this: “She posted the complaint on her website (caution: possible malware infection at that link) and”. . . This is just a replay of “Don’t go near her, she may have an STD” stereotype to keep women from doing what the little grunty MaleBeasts do. A double standard.

4. “So for Taitz's benefit, let's go through this one more time.” translated this is “Alright little lady, let us Malebeasts straighten this out for you. This is right out of the Leave it to Beaver or I Love Lucy era. The little lovable maniac. The “Oh, let me go put my pearls on and vaccuum the house for you!”

Notice to the MaleBeasts: You aren’t in 1950 anymore.

Squeeky Fromm

Oh yeah: if you scroll up you'll see more Orly news.

Cheer up Orly!



☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺

Can't help myself:

What the Founders Believed

Joseph C. Phillips:

I responded, “It’s a think tank devoted to restoring the founding principles to our national life.”

“Oh,” she said. “Ultra right wing.”

“Uhm exactly which of the founding principles do you disagree with?” I responded.

Good one!

Below is three fifths of an image of Joseph C. Phillips.

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Okay, that sure looks like a lotta work, but those of you with time on your hands can reconstruct the missing part of his head. Or give him a lotta square zits.

Feature or Bug?

Over at the Atlantic Andrew Sullivan has been writing something-or-other about Israel which I do not care to read because FUCK HIM. But Jeffrey Goldberg cares, and says this:

So I'm unilaterally disengaging from this struggle. I pray, of course, that Andrew comes to see that his oversimplification of Middle East history and politics has caused real damage to real people, but it's time for someone else to argue with him.

I cannot imagine that someone who would oversimplify Middle East history and politics would get hired at The Atlantic.

Meme Research

This is funny. Might "chatroulette screenshots" be the new LOLcats?

Old Guy News

The Telegraph put a "Berlusconi's women" slideshow up a while back.

Silvio Berlusconi has shortlisted his dental hygienist to contest crucial elections next month. The 73-year-old premier was apparently unable to resist the charms of Nicole Minetti, a showgirl turned dental hygienist who he met when his teeth were being repaired after he was attacked in Milan in December

What's Important

A news item:

A second US woman who converted to Islam has been arrested in connection with an alleged attempt to kill a Swedish artist, days after terror charges were revealed against a woman dubbed "Jihad Jane".

Jamie Paulin-Ramirez, 31, from Colorado, was among seven people arrested in Ireland last week over the alleged plot to kill Lars Vilks, who depicted the prophet Muhammad as a dog in a sketch.

When you're convinced the Great Justice you can perform for your people is to kill a cartoonist maybe the person you should kill first is yourself.

UPDATE FOR PURPOSES OF PURe FAIRNESS!

Ramirez is free without charge.

Emissions Controls

Time to Panic!

Kimberly Cox:

All right! We blew it! My Generation, The Millennial Generation, totally fell for the oldest trick in the book and now we look like hopeless idiots in front of the whole world. What was our mistake? Youth. The veracity of naivete that only comes with inexperience, adolescence and a total lack of responsibility.

Characterized by our Pop Culture and Mass Media, we may participate in an election, try to be advocates for hope and change, but as long as “The Bachelor” and “Jersey Shore” succeed in the ratings, The Millennial Generation will be seen as having the same morals, values and ethics as the people who are on these reality shows.

Hmm, The Bachelor seems to draw about 15,000,000 eyes - possibly 30,000,000 if you don't believe in the curse that is the BB gun. Half of those are in the 18-49 group. Jersey Shore draws fewer watchers.

As proof of how silly this is as a measure of anything I added the viewership of the top 25 network shows to the viewership of the top 25 cable shows and the result OMG IT ADDS UP TO 505 MILLION PEOPLE AND THE ONLY EXPLANATION IS 200 MILLION ILLEGAL ALIENS!

Life Asea

Among the list of physical requirements for admission to the Marine Engineering Research Institute, Kolkata:

9. Genitourinary System
There should be no palpable and enlarged kidneys. There should not be any disease of the kidneys. Cases showing alburminuria, glycosurea or blood (R.B.C.) in urine will be rejected. There should be no hernia or disease thereto. Those who have been operated for hernia may be declared fit provided -

1. Documentry proof to be produced by the candidate to the effect the one year has elapsed after the operation.
2. General tone of abdominal muscles should be good and
3. There has been no recurrence of hernia or complications with the operation.

There should be no hydrocele, spermatocele or any other defect of genital organs, no fistula and/or anal fissure or evidence of hemorrhoids ( Piles), rectal polyps. There should be no active latent or congenital venereal disease, undescended intra abdominal testicle is normal and that there is no physical or psychological effect due to undescended testicle will be accepted. Undescended test is retained in inguinal canal or at the extra abdominal ring will be rejected.

Can anyone explain to me why a bunch of folks who spend a lotta time on boats want to make sure your bum and your naughty bits are in good shape?

Of course I could understand it as an admission requirement for certain Catholic schools.

Another Catastrophe Averted!

The Times of India:

MUMBAI: Powai police has arrested a bogus doctor who claimed to be an ayurvedic practitioner following a complaint lodged by the Food and Drug Administration (FDA), which carried out a surprise check at his clinic on March 2.

Good lord, imagine the damage a fake ayurvedic practitioner could have done.

All Our Porblems Solved

Thers has noticed that George Noory may run for president.

Friends, the mysteries of orbs may finally receive attention from the executive branch. Congress is already on the case.

Orly!

Still birthin':

The courtroom proceedings at the Ronald Reagan Federal Building in Santa Ana for Orly Taitz's Barnett v. Obama lawsuit were memorable, partly, because they featured so much bickering between Taitz and her co-counsel Gary Kreep. Kreep and Taitz, who originally joined forces to file the lawsuit on behalf of Alan Keyes and Wiley Drake, accused one another of lying, and begged judge David O. Carter to allow them to proceed in separate lawsuits.

Carter's response was to ask the two to move their chairs closer together.

That is just genius.

The picture at the link is so terrific that I'd best leave it there so I don't have to take responsibility for mikey's broken heart.

UPDATARINO!

Yet another court filing. Exclamation points are usually not the way to go in those, but there are only two. I searched in vain for the YouTube of Orly addressing John Roberts.

Forcing Is The Issue

A headline:

Vatican forced to defend itself over abuse cases

Strong words! Let us make sure, friends of Justice, that this forcing involves no beatings or sodomy.

Frank Capra Directs Chinatown

Robert J. Avrech is excited about Hillsdale College:

First impressions: Hillsdale is sort of like a set for a Frank Capra film.

[...]

Refusing all Federal dollars, Hillsdale is one of the few Conservative American colleges—Claremont and Grove City are two others that spring to mind—thus the school is truly independent, not shackled by government grants or political headwinds.

Me, I remember Hillsdale College for the incest-suicide story.

ALSO:

A bitchy post from an ex-Hillsdaler.

The Elderly: Fit To Zorb?

Zombie Pocahontas Rises Again

That scumbag stole that idea I stole!

VANCOUVER — A Vancouver restaurant owner plans to file a lawsuit in the B.C. Supreme Court claiming copyright infringement against director James Cameron and other makers of the highest-grossing film of all time, the Academy Award-nominated Avatar.

Emil Malak, 57, says the similarities between his Terra Incognita and James Cameron's Avatar, which has made more than $2 billion worldwide, are too striking to simply be a coincidence.

Reference.

Slow day when "I plan to sue" is news. Psst: sue in America! Crazy money!

LHOOQ: