Thursday, December 16, 2010

Good News Everyone!

Conrad Black:
By the time of the pope’s British trip, the swords of the worldwide Catholic-baiters had already been blunted by the sudden surge of alarm over the Gulf of Mexico oil spill. For several months, War of the Worlds horrors of the destruction of the world’s oceans, the end of the shrimp industry, the irreversible sliming of the entire Gulf and Atlantic coastlines of America, had shouldered and bullied into the back of the public mind the cherished prospect of the exposure of the Roman Church as a racket of pedophiles and predatory Sodomites. Of course, the oil spill was a terribly serious problem too. But in the one case as in the other, there was a determined effort, halting at first, hampered by bumbling and by an urge to downplay and deny, but soon indomitably determined and focused, to address the causes of the problem and stop it, and then to put things right as much and as quickly as possible and prevent repetition. It is not obvious why the swift and dramatic progress in both crises came as such a surprise, and to many, even apparently, as a disappointment.
That's right friends, the priest abuse scandals are over.

I encourage you to read Black's full column because I'm mean that way.

17 comments:

Jack Crow said...

This exploded mine retinas:

"The atheists, though often articulate and courageous and knowledgeable, and heavy-laden with the ammunition provided by the fatuity and hypocrisy of much Christian history, can never deal with the insuperable evidence of spiritual forces, miracles, and any ecclesiastical concept of grace."

Insuperable?

Demon ridden world indeed.

[Google is on the verge of passing the turing test. Verification word: typhy.]

fish said...

Catholic-baiters, a subclass of masturbater who has a young boy do it for him, but feels really bad about it after the fact (doesn't stop him from doing it again).

Substance McGravitas said...

the insuperable evidence of spiritual forces

Much as I try to deny it, Jesus appeared on my French toast the other day.

Dragon-King Wangchuck said...

These facts do not alter or diminish the fidelity, dedication, and self-discipline of the 99 percent of Roman Catholic religious personnel...nor blight the education and care they gave to an approximately equal percentage of the scores of millions of children confided to them.

By Conrad's estimate that means TENS OF THOUSANDS OF CHILDREN HAVE BEEN MOLESTED BY REPRESENTATIVES OF THE CATHOLIC CHURCH.

Still you gotta love them odds. Give us your kids, there's only a one percent chance that some priest will fuck them up the ass.

Dragon-King Wangchuck said...

Whoops, I missed out where Conrad was talking about the kids being scores.

CONRAD BLACK SAYS THAT HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS OF CHILDREN HAVE BEEN MOLESTED BY CATHOLIC PRIESTS! AND HE SAYS THIS IS A GOOD THING!

Substance McGravitas said...

"Scores" is maybe not the most appropriate word for Mr. Black to use.

Another Kiwi said...

BP was indomitably determined and focused, to address the causes of the problem and stop it, and then to put things right as much and as quickly as possible and prevent repetition. ????
1) Black's verbal diarrhea is not getting any better
2)This is load of bollocks. That dispersant is going to fuck things up for a loooong time.

Substance McGravitas said...

The "look how well that oil spill thing was dealt with" comparison is also trouble.

mikey said...

Insupperable?

Is that when I have a tummy ache and can't eat my dinner?

Another Kiwi said...

There are some grunters among us who refer to Riddled Old Peculiar Lager as insupperable. Philistanians

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

Whackypedia tells me this is Conrad Moffat Black, Baron Black of Crossharbour, OC, PC (Can.), KCSG.

It also says he is a convicted criminal.
~

Substance McGravitas said...

OMG why am I quoting this word-salad chef then?

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

Because you're writing a cookbook?
~

Smut Clyde said...

this word-salad chef

Conrad Black has knocked over his thesaurus and the words spilled everywhere.
Needs more random Capitalisation, however.

Another Kiwi said...

You have to read Lord Black How I woke up from spiritual slumber and inched at a snail's pace to Rome"
Unkind people might call it sanctimonious bullshit and people unused to reading will collapse onto their keyboard but the last paragraph is the money shot
I have never had anything remotely resembling a lapse, nor a sense of forsakenness, even when I was unjustly indicted, convicted, and imprisoned, in a country I formerly much admired.

The Catholic life in the prison where I write is active and intellectually stimulating.

LOLZ

Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

the cherished prospect of the exposure of the Roman Church as a racket of pedophiles and predatory Sodomites

WTF? Why does he think that even the most rabid antitheist would "cherish" exposing the coddling of sexual predators?

WV-inout. Captcha is becoming self-aware!

mikey said...

It also says he is a convicted criminal.

Hmm. Perhaps.

But I'd like you to consider the possibility that might not be, in and of itself, a reason for opprobrium.

Circumstances, accidents, substances, timing - it's important to remember we live in a budding police state, and whether you are willing to acknowledge it or not, we are all one pear-shaped event from being convicted felons.

Further classification is necessary....