Sunday, March 6, 2011

In The Air Tonight

What passes for news:
[Phil Collins] lives in a small town in Switzerland now, attempting to distance himself from the music scene. The report that he's calling it quits from the music business just seems to make his actions official. “I don't really belong to that world and I don't think anyone's going to miss me. I'm much happier just to write myself out of the script entirely,” he told FHM. Today's world of MTV Music Awards and artists who care more about celebrity status than making music make the choice easy, he says.
Here is Phil Collins casting aside his ego to work in the shadows of Phil Collins and Phil Collins:



Really, though, apart from that business of ripping off the chorus of a good song to make a whiny one we have nothing against Phil Collins...um, that we don't hold against plenty of other people too. Enjoy life, Phil! And maybe some good can come of this as the many millions Phil has earned can be spent on MEANINGFUL RESEARCH:
And then there are the photographs. He's got them stored on a laptop upstairs. He has a ton of them, taken by him and some of his Alamo buddies. They're odd. They've got unworldly things in them. "Do you want to see them?" he says. And then adds with mock fright in his voice, "It's some absolutely chilling stuff." But then he goes upstairs, pets his Jack Russell terrier, Travis (named after William Barret Travis, the Alamo commander), and sits at a laptop, where he pulls up picture after picture of the modern-day Alamo and related battle sites, various angles and times, and in the majority of them, soft little glowing balls, whitish in color and semitransparent, sometimes a few, sometimes a great many, seem to be hovering in the air.

"They're orbs," Collins says solemnly. "I'm not sure what the scientific term is, but it's paranormal energy. See this one? Now this one is at Goliad, where, after the Alamo, 400 guys were executed. You've got to be careful. You can talk yourself into this stuff. See how many there are here? I get chills just talking about it. All of those orbs! They're all over the place! If you believe this, then you have to rethink everything you've been taught. That's what freaks me out."
Phil, EVERYTHING YOU THINK YOU KNOW IS A LIE.

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14 comments:

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

"They're orbs," Collins says solemnly. "I'm not sure what the scientific term is, but it's paranormal energy.

"The scientific term is orbs", I said authoritatively.
~

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

thundra never told me he was Phil Collins.

TruculentandUnreliable said...

I'm sorry, wha?

I was distracted by his ridiculous hair.

mikey said...

But on a very real level, it doesn't make sense. In my life a significant number of people I have met have not been hip, cool or with it. Now, if they die and become Orbs, or represented by Orbs, or more accurately Orb-like things that glow and cameras can see them even if eyes can't (I'm sure at some point Bimmler will be arsed to explain to us how this works), wouldn't the Orbs that represent those people who are not hip or cool actually be squares?

Substance McGravitas said...

I'm pretty sure mikey's onto something BIG.

Smut Clyde said...

I was distracted by his ridiculous hair.

Not orbs. Dandruff.

Smut Clyde said...

Flashback to 1973 and the cover of Scientific American.

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

the only inexplicable thing in that photo is Rutherford's jacket.

vacuumslayer said...

At first when I saw the "omg," I thought you were pointing out Phil's AWESOME hairstyle. Disappointed to see you making light of the serious and highly-competitive field of orbology. How do you know those are orbs? Are you a licensed orbologist? I DON'T THINK SO.

Another Kiwi said...

Ms. Vac is right. The only orb photos are Thunder's accept, no substitutes.


Arghhh!!! Kapcha scared me hoott!!!

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

Although Phil's head does look suspiciously orb-y.

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

heh. Now there's demon Dancing on a Volcano...er, I mean on Phil's shirt pocket.

wiley said...

Hmmm. I've always thought of him as the most boring man in rock and roll.

Substance McGravitas said...

I still think Huey Lewis takes the prize.