Thursday, March 24, 2011

Authentic Frenchmen

Conrad Black on Libya:
I have thought all along that the key to a satisfactory outcome lay with the French. France is a Mediterranean country; Algeria, Libya’s neighbor, was a French département (state or province) from 1830 until 1963, and there were more than a million authentic Frenchmen in Algeria, including the great writer Albert Camus. France, in all its feline self-indulgence, was happy to claim for decades its tolerance and vocation for absorption and fraternization with the Arabs, especially while de Gaulle could irritate the Americans by truckling to Arab anti-Semitism, and the French elites could sit in their cafes waving their smoldering Gitane or Gauloise cigarettes and snifters of cognac or absinthe about, extolling the virtues of French trans-Mediterranean Arabophilia (in refreshing contrast to America’s hypocrisy and bigotry vis-à-vis its black population). The whole charade was supported by feting James Baldwin and other American black intellectuals virtually with such open arms as those with which Americans embraced Antoine de St. Exupéry and Andre Gide during World War II; or those with which the French court welcomed Jacques Cartier’s representative Canadian Indian, Donnacona, in the 16th century. (Gide, an aggressive homosexual decades ahead of his time, was attracted to America chiefly by the relatively tight trousers of American GIs, who, as he put it, rolled their buttocks fetchingly along the great boulevards of the French cities they liberated (ultimately almost all of them).
I call JanusNode.

Just a smidge more:
President Sarkozy was elevated to the headship of the state in part because as interior minister he had denounced the unruly Paris Arabs as “riff-raff”; and he tried to stay at the crest of the wave of developing opinion. But longtime xenophobe and Arab-baiter Jean-Marie Le Pen’s daughter, more presentable than her father as she has dropped his anti-Semitism, and has a softer vocabulary and less strident and buffoonish style, moved up almost to level pegging in the polls with Sarkozy.
I rate for less strident and buffoonish styles, plus a good pegging.

At the link there is an audio version of this glossolalia.

18 comments:

fish said...

France, in all its feline self-indulgence, was happy to claim for decades its tolerance and vocation for absorption and fraternization with the Arabs,

Tolerance and fraternization are exactly why Algeria got along so well with the French from 1954-1962.

vacuumslayer said...

He describes a country as "feline?" the whole thing seems to be attempting to break some pretension record. I find a lot of conservative writers indulge in this kinda stuff. I think they do it cuz it's easier to mask the fact that everything you say is wrong and crazy if you do it in a way that is a flowery, distracting attempt at condescension.

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

And of course, there's Vietnam. In fact, I'd say the lesson to be learned is to not run around the globe running other countries as if they were your colonies.

Shouldn't Black be in jail, by the way?
~

vacuumslayer said...

fish and I are doing synchronized commenting.

Substance McGravitas said...

Black is a sad case of someone with all the advantages feeling he's not good enough. Each bizarre phrase is an attempt to show he's just a little bit better than your already fawning admiration of him might indicate. He knows he's a fraud.

Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

Damn, he used pegging in his column? What is it with these guys and their penchant for using sexual slang they're not cognizant of?

Gide, an aggressive homosexual decades ahead of his time

Tell that to Petronius!

Smut Clyde said...

The "Authentic Frenchmen" bit is to distinguish between racially-pure French people and those who attained citizenship because Algeria was a French département.

Authentically French names like Sarkozy.

He describes a country as "feline?"
He's interested in reinforcing simple stereotypes. Actual experience of France not required.

Another Kiwi said...

He says that France is the key because they were in Algeria which is next to Libya. Uh huh.
He then sends squillons of electrons to their deaths getting as many names onto the page as he can.
I think Sarkozy called them "scum" ak-chew-ally which is WORSER than Riff Raff who is very good in Rocky Horror.
I'm thinking of commissioning Conrad "Darkheart" to write the history of the Salted Pineapple trade.

vacuumslayer said...

"He's interested in reinforcing simple stereotypes. Actual experience of France not required."

Yes, but what does that even mean?

Silly me. Sometimes I forget that in conservative world, words dont need meaning. They just need to hit the ear right.

M. Bouffant said...

Are there no Canadian laws that would severely punish that shitheel for those paragraphs? Some of it must qualify as "hate" speech; it all qualifies as stupid speech.

And why weren't the Eyeties, the actual former colonial masters of Libya, higher on Black's "outcome" list? I mean, I'm sure he's a big Berlusconi fan too.

TruculentandUnreliable said...

I don't even understand what he's trying to say, except for this part: "... the relatively tight trousers of American GIs, who, as he put it, rolled their buttocks fetchingly along the great boulevards of the French cities they liberated". I liked that.

vacuumslayer said...

" rolled their buttocks fetchingly along the great boulevards of the French cities they liberated". I liked that."

I suspect he liked it too.

Smut Clyde said...

rolled their buttocks fetchingly along the great boulevards

I can well believe that France could not provide decent bowling-balls, but this does not sound like an adequate substitute.

Smut Clyde said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Smut Clyde said...

I am dubious whether Gide ever reminisced about American GIs liberating French cities because he wasn't there at the time (remaining in Tunis until the war was over).

SRSly, I wonder Black cannot tell the difference between Gide and Jean Genet.

Smut Clyde said...

He describes a country as "feline?" the whole thing seems to be attempting to break some pretension record.

My theory is that Black was inspired by that other great Canadian author Algernon Blackwood, and in particular by Blackwood's story Ancient Sorceries in which the inhabitants of a French town turn out to be were-cats.

It is a theory and it is mine.

Another Kiwi said...

Genet would not be the first person to bowled over by American buttocks. Redprostate Trike Force ground troops are particularly famous for the crushing weight of their buttocks

vacuumslayer said...

IMPORTANT QUESTION: in terms of sheer destructive force, which has more power?

Rolling blackouts or
Rolling buttocks?

I've decide I'd like to try rolling my buttocks. Since I have no idea what this enTAILS, I'm sure this will be more awkward than erotic.