Monday, November 9, 2009

Two Limericks

A limerick of dubious quality
Should offend every part of the polity
With dick-slop in ceral
And urges gone feral
And metrical finishes faulity

A limerick of dubious quality
Once told of a man of frivolity
Who’d a cowbell inserted
Where most often turds hid
And sleighbells attached to his ballities

Inspiration.

21 comments:

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

I DO NOT find limericks to be "inspired"

Substance McGravitas said...

Check the guy who doesn't need to breathe haggling about inspiration.

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

inspiration, respiration, I'm not looking to quibble.

Actually, many times I am willing to give up a little respiration in exchange for some inspiration.

Never involves limericks though.

Could be worse, I suppose; you could be doing puns like those chunknozzles at 3Bulls. What's up with those CobagOmbudsman, anyway?

Substance McGravitas said...

Never involves limericks though.

You must change your life. Just imagine the Apollo sculpture as a silly poem about boners and there you have it.

J— said...

A limerick of dubious quality
Told the tale of a leprous wallaby
That sang as it sloughed
Most its fur in large tufts,
"All of me, why not take all of me"

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

I keep having a recurring dream that I am trying to put in a larger-than-my-eyeball contact lens.

Keep in mind that comment was BEFORE K had an infant.

mikey said...

Though the quality of the limerick was dubious
Hurting the sensibilities of you, me, us
It was a limerick nonetheless
And you'll have to acquiesce
The writers are to a certain degree, us!


Damn. Degree of difficulty is a plus four. And the spanish judge is drunk...

mikey said...

Oh, and if anybody wants to take a whack at it, the title of this post is a Spin Doctors song parody in waiting.

I can't do it right now, Jon Gruden is busy yelling at me...

Substance McGravitas said...

Oh, and if anybody wants to take a whack at it, the title of this post is a Spin Doctors song parody in waiting.

My brainsploded.

herr doktor bimler said...

When walking his dog in the park
ZRM is subjected to snark
For the pooch, although puny,
Holds degrees from a Uni.;
Its bite is no worse than its B.Arch.

Substance McGravitas said...

Whilst Bimler was walking his weta
An idea occurred that was better
Strap more bugs to his shoes
And continue to cruise
To a place where his whistle'd get wetter

mikey said...

"Blood Sausage!" Cried out the good Dok
In a manner disarmingly ad hoc.
Beer and sausage can't be beat
Washed down with Akavit
"Hold on, I think I know a good Wood Block"

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

Bimler is really fucking triggering me today.

Substance McGravitas said...

Hard to hold it against anyone for being one step ahead of a zombie.

herr doktor bimler said...

These things we won in battle at the finish of the strife:
There were Old-Master paintings, each the dowry of a wife.
The paintings showed the swarming beasts with which the hills are rife;
The Lemming-Titians of the women are the greatest things in life.

Substance McGravitas said...

There was a man of Austria
Who'd emptied all his coffers
To purchase some addictive sweets
He'd scream "GET TO THE JAFFAS!"

fish said...

A limerick of dubious quality
was read to the local pub's polity
the poet was bruised
and his hat was then used
by a lout as an ad hoc commode-ity

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

well, you REALLY don't want to let Bimler get behind you. Have you ever seen his woodcuts?

herr doktor bimler said...

Woodcuts? Only a couple of splinters scratches.
It was called a Slippery Elm so I thought I wouldn't need SHUT UP SMUT

Dragon-King Wangchuck said...

Actually, many times I am willing to give up a little respiration in exchange for some inspiration.

OMG, how long has this veiled auto-erotic asphyxiation refernce just sat there hanging in the closet?

A limerick of dubious quality,
Was presented by the Great Ptolemy.
Yet it was his very best,
Since the Almagest,
The Earth Does Not Move by corollary.

herr doktor bimler said...

Lyndon LaRouche
Lyndon LaRouche
If you sleep sideways
You may need a Kush