Tuesday, November 3, 2009

An Eye-Catching Headline

"Restless Vagina Syndrome": Big Pharma's Newest Fake Disease
By Terry J. Allen, In These Times. Posted November 3, 2009.
The pharmaceutical industry wants you to think that if you don't have sex like a porn star, you're in need of their drugs.
I believe I am now a science blogger or something.

28 comments:

fish said...

How do I know if my vagina is restless? Is there a list of symptoms?

tigris said...

Does it keep you up at night? Does it pace the floor like a caged tiger? Does it keep looking at the clock wondering why the hands aren't moving? Does it snack just for something to do?

Substance McGravitas said...

Does it snack just for something to do?

Look, the crunching sounds really are worrying.

Rusty Shackleford said...

"...female erogenous zones that pharmaceutical fixes can’t find: your brain and your funny bone."

The first of those is protected by skull, the second is metaphorical. How am I supposed to get my dick in them?

Substance McGravitas said...

Oh dear, Rusty, I fear we will eventually have to post bits of the Lady Liberators kicking the Avengers's's's's butts to make you more sensitive.

mikey said...

Well, y'know, it kind of makes a certain kind of bipolar sense, if'n you think about it way too much.

'Cause, see, they already have medicine for sleepy penis, so it seems there might well be an alternative treatment regimen - for want of a better term, we might call it the "if you can't beat it, make it the old battleaxe's problem. If we were to make her vagina as limp and useless as your dick, Dick, then there'd be no real problem either.

You could both eat fried snickers and watch american idol and grow quietly bitter without any nasty rubbing together of dry, flacid nether - regions....

mikey said...

And while I'm not on the subject at hand, whatever happened to the band "Filter"?

I really liked them.

Zombie?

Substance McGravitas said...

Well, y'know, it kind of makes a certain kind of bipolar sense, if'n you think about it way too much.

It's certainly not my intent to come out against drugs. Take all the drugs you want mikey! I'm sure your vagina will thank you.

I think there's a mechanical option that works out to be somewhat cheaper though, even apart from attractiveness synergy and booze.

Substance McGravitas said...

Their first album, Short Bus, was released in 1995. The album was commercially successful, and included the hit single "Hey Man, Nice Shot". The song was somewhat controversial, as it was seen as capitalizing on the public suicide of Budd Dwyer.[1] Kurt Cobain's suicide was widely rumored to have inspired the song, but the band refuted this.

I still buy the Cobain angle as they had a grungy guy with messy hair playing a Fender Mustang (or similar) in the video.

tigris said...

Look, the crunching sounds really are worrying.

Wait until the vagina dentata moves from binge stage to purge stage...

"...female erogenous zones that pharmaceutical fixes can’t find: your brain and your funny bone."

Actually, many "pharmaceuticals" seem to be able to find the first one just fine. The second most prefer to have manually stimulated, but there exists at least one herbal lubricant for it, too.

Dragon-King Wangchuck said...

I was creeped out by Rushbo's nickname appearing in the same sentence as vagina.

Anyways, in defense of the huge multinationals profiting off of poisoning us in order to addres the hypochondriac insecurities they've planted - this is a huge step forward. I mean, at least they aren't claiming that female orgasms are a myth.

fish said...

at least they aren't claiming that female orgasms are a myth.

Sure Dragon, dismantle my carefully constructed self-esteem defenses.

J— said...

The woman standing by the window with cigarette and bottle of wine has convinced this citizen-scientist.

Rusty Shackleford said...

Speaking o eye-catching headlines

M. Bouffant said...

Hmmm. The gov't. forces me to take something called LexaPRO, to keep my mass murdering instincts to a minimum. It does not have the effect of stimulating the libido.

herr doktor bimler said...

Didn't this used to be called 'hysteria'?

herr doktor bimler said...

Does it pace the floor like a caged tiger?

Now I can't stop humming "Love Cats". Not that there's anything wrong with that.

Substance McGravitas said...

The gov't. forces me to take something called LexaPRO, to keep my mass murdering instincts to a minimum.

Yet another example of the War on Fun.

mikey said...

See, this is the kind of selective enforcement that really pisses me off. Whenever the government became concerned about MY mass murdering tendencies, they'd send out a couple large men to beat me senseless with sticks, put chains on my wrists and ankles and take me to a loud, smelly place with bad food and no booze.

Pills were never even OFFERED...

Another Kiwi said...

Restless Vagina and Irritable Bowel are not going to get on, are they.

herr doktor bimler said...

"...female erogenous zones that pharmaceutical fixes can’t find: your brain and your funny bone."

The former is also known as the vagina mentata.

Substance McGravitas said...

Restless Vagina and Irritable Bowel are not going to get on, are they.

Now we're thumbing the depths.

herr doktor bimler said...

Bashful Bladder Syndrome is trying to stay out of it.

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

mikey, not sure wht Filter is doing these days. A couple of years ago, they played Summerfest, but I don't think there was any new music. I only caught a bit of the show, other stages beckoned that night....

BTW, and not that anyone asked, but the lead guy in Filter is the brother of the actor that played the 'quicksilver' terminator in Terminator 2....

tigris said...

Irritable Bowel blows his stack and loses his shit whenever Restless Vagina gets close; Bashful Bladder just flushes.

Another Kiwi said...

I never liked the costume that Marvel put on Irritable Bowel. All that brown, and WTH is "Stink Power"?

Substance McGravitas said...

Don't get me started on Piledriver and that disgusting vehicle he used.

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

I imagine as long as SOMEONE is getting To The Choppa, Substance is mostly satisfied.