Tuesday, November 10, 2009

First They Came

First they came for the salt golems, and I did not speak out because I was not a salt golem;
Then they came for the ice folks, and I did not speak out because I was not an ice folk;
Then they came for the marshmallow harpies, and I did not speak out because I was not a marshmallow harpy;
Then they came for the sheet ghouls, and I did not speak out because I was not a sheet ghoul;
Then they came for me - and there was no one left to speak out for me.

39 comments:

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

marshmallow harpy = Pammy Atlas?
~

Dragon-King Wangchuck said...

I don't know what you could have done differently. Even had you saved teh salt golems, they couldn't have helped you since salt golems can't speak.

And also, sheet ghouls? Fuck 'em. They shoulda rounded up those jerkwads long ago.

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

whew.

They never came for the zombies.

Substance McGravitas said...

There are so many goddamned zombies in the file. YOU'LL GET YOURS.

And incidentally, "marshmallow harpy" is apparently a "real" D&D monster somewhere.

Dragon-King Wangchuck said...

But imagine the s'mores you can make from marshmallow harpies!

Substance McGravitas said...

Geez, look at it pluralize! Harpy to harpies. I didn't write that.

Substance McGravitas said...

First they came for the stone giant runecarvers, and I did not speak out because I was not a stone giant runecarver;
Then they came for the fungal horrors, and I did not speak out because I was not a fungal horror;
Then they came for the gargantuan geckos, and I did not speak out because I was not a gargantuan gecko;
Then they came for the venomous floors, and I did not speak out because I was not a venomous floor;
Then they came for me - and there was no one left to speak out for me.

mikey said...

Y'know, "They" seem to spend a great deal of their time "coming".

It makes my more solitary existence lacking in regular episodes of physiological ecstasy seem somewhat bereft...

Capcha shows up to remind all that pations is a virture

fish said...

First they came for the Doritos, and I said: "Fuck that!!! I will kill every one of you if you lay a hand on my snacks!!!!"

Another Kiwi said...

Who did Ms. Prejean come for?
The joke was just lying there, if I didn't say it someone else would have.
Also I'm with DKW sheet ghouls are not real supernayutural beings.

herr doktor bimler said...

First they came for the Harlan Ellison stories, and I did not speak out, for I have no mouth.

Rusty Shackleford said...

The only reasonable option is to renounce all your group identifications and join the Uncomeforables.

tigris said...

Uncomeforables nothing, I'm joining They.

Rusty Shackleford said...

But then you're no better than Them.

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

Those are them who they do not come for.

Safety in the third person plural.
~

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

Even had you saved teh salt golems, they couldn't have helped you since salt golems can't speak.

But they are well seasoned.

mikey said...

Hold on there, oh shambling representative of all the rotting undead.

I've got - hang on, now I've got to check - seven, yes SEVEN kinds of salt. The right salt golem could make your pork roast sing, without pissing off the pig.

just saying

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

The right salt golem could make your pork roast sing,

Zombie Pork Snorkel?

I believe a consultation with Mr. Pinko Punko and Mr. Snag is immediately called for. Large quantities of alcohol should be set aside, in a location to be determined. If possible, the Mekons should be alerted.

fish said...

Pissing on the pig is another way to salt it.

herr doktor bimler said...

We backward New Zealanders are not ready for roast pork that sings. I for one would find it disconcerting.

Substance McGravitas said...

We backward New Zealanders

.uʍop-ǝpısdn

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

wait, Bimler is a Zilderberger?

This changes everything.

Another Kiwi said...

Whilst a quartet of singing roast pork would be concerting.

J— said...

Forbes has a very important list.

mikey said...

We backward New Zealanders are not ready for roast pork that sings.

Suppose the Roast Pork is holding a Blood Sausage like a microphone while singing? That would make it a much more bearable experience, would it not?

mikey said...

First they came for the coke freaks. But those fucks are incredibly annoying, so I said nothing.

Then they came for the crack whores, but that shit is just stupid, so fuck 'em, y'know?

Then they came for all those idiots strung out on the pain scripts, and I I thought damn, if anybody deserves to get fucked over, it's the hillbilly heroin crowd.

Then they came for the crankster gangsters, and I thought "whoa - that's hitting a little close to home". But I had a shitload of weapons so I decided it was all for the best.

Then, THEN you know what those fuckers did? They put the pseudoephedrine pills behind the counter and made you sign your name, fer crissfuckingsake, and I thought "goddam it, you people piss me off"...

herr doktor bimler said...

They put the pseudoephedrine pills behind the counter and made you sign your name, fer crissfuckingsake, and I thought "goddam it, you people piss me off"...
What he said.

tigris said...

Plus they tried to palm off that useless phenylephrine crap. Sticking jalapenos up my nostrils would be more effective at stopping the drips.

fish said...

First they came for me and....

Well okay, that was a pretty good idea.

Substance McGravitas said...

First they came for the drinks, then they stayed for the tasty food.

Dragon-King Wangchuck said...

Let me take this opportunity to reiterate - sheet ghouls can kiss my ass, if it were not for the deadly acid spitting. As such, they can go to the devil.

Sheet ghouls. Hrmph.

Another Kiwi said...

First they came for the game on Teevee, then they stayed for the whole freakin weekend

fish said...

First they came for the salt golems, and I did not speak out because I was not a salt golem;
Then they came for the ice folks, and I did not speak out because I was not an ice folk;
Then they came for the marshmallow harpies, and I did not speak out because I was not a marshmallow harpy;
Then they came for the sheet ghouls, and I did not speak out because I was not a sheet ghoul;
Then they came for me- and I thought that show I saw in Tijuana with the woman and the donkey was more impressive.

Dragon-King Wangchuck said...

First they came, and then they showered, and then they had a nap.

Then they woke up really really hungry, but still tired, and while waiting out each other to get up and make a snack, they ended up coming again.

tigris said...

Personally, I didn't speak out when they came for the salt golems, ice folks, and marshmallow harpies because I thought they were going to make enough rocky road ice cream for everyone.

Substance McGravitas said...

Cream them in impotent rage!

Another Kiwi said...

Sometimes they come for nothing.

Dragon-King Wangchuck said...

Fucking sheet ghouls.

Dragon-King Wangchuck said...

Let me re-iterate. Fuck the sheet ghouls. Fuck those fuckers.