Good Thing

Space Plague!

The future may yet turn out to be cool.

Gregg Easterbrook: Moron

Go to The Poor Man and read.

Sports are pretty much for idiots - duh, hi mirror - but perhaps there could be some filter that strains out certain sillinesses.

And if you’re tempted to say, “Gregg, at worst this is just cheating in some dumb football games,” here’s why the affair matters: If a big American institution such as the NFL is not being honest with the public about a subject as minor, in the scheme of things, as the Super Bowl, how can we expect American government and business to be honest with the public about what really matters?

It's not often that I laugh out loud at something that doesn't involve anvils or shovels to the face, so I salute you Mr. Easterbrook.

Now With 100% More Eleanor

Odd outage at Nitpicker:

Write Your Senator

I think it'd be reasonable to follow up the Move-On debacle with a resolution condemning bribery, toilet sex, and the wearing of diapers for prurient reasons.

Medical Education Under the Taliban

This is a pretty old article, but it's worth having a look at:

Sunday, May 14, 2006
Afghanistan: Women Return To Medicine After Taliban Ban
By Mustafa Sarwar

PRAGUE, May 14, 2006 (RFE/RL) -- During the days of the Taliban, women were not allowed to study medicine at Kabul Medical University, not even under the cover of the all-encompassing burqas.

More than four years after the fall of the Taliban, however, the radiant faces of 90 women could be seen in the university's auditorium, speaking happily about their graduation. Some of them are now mothers, having had to interrupt their medical studies during the five years the Taliban held power in the capital.

[...]

Tabesh says the Taliban would measure the length of the beards of the medical students, "and if they found out that they had been trimmed, they would punish us harshly."

[...]

"We lacked the very essential things in that time," Tabesh said. "The first semester, we had anatomy classes. It is a very difficult subject, and you need to have materials like bones and skeletons to study with. But the Taliban did not allow us to work on the human body, so we needed to buy bones from other boys who were in the higher grades at the university. We could not even afford to buy an anatomy atlas textbook. And since we had to use human bones [dug from graves], sometimes [the chemicals used to clean the bones] produced allergies. It was unbelievable."

Tabesh recalls the dean of the university during the Taliban days chasing students with a long stick.

"I remember him boasting that no man could ever be as cruel as he was," Tabesh says. "It was pretty dreadful."

Trolling and Utility

Is Poo Poo Funny?

I say yes and thank you Ron Paul for the bumper-sticker. And J---- for the pic of poor Dave.



Yes, I'm a dick.

Do They Come in Brown?

Attention Alan Greenspan: This Means You're Horrible, Not Honest

Corruption

Here we have an article about corruption in India, mostly regarding fake degrees. There is at least one episode in it that is actually horrifying. What impressed me however was this single sentence:

The unethical practices and the decline in moral values have corrupted a greed-based society.

The Art of Subtitles

My lovely daughter is on the Aspergery side of life, which has its ups and downs. One of the positive ups is that she has a freakish ability to read, demonstrated since before she could walk (which she was late to, but she totters sweetly nonetheless).

A very small part of what this means is that when she and I watch TV she'll pay closer attention when the captions are on. I have learned, to my chagrin, that Spanish or French audio does not match the Spanish or French subtitles in many cases, making most DVDs kind of crappy aids to my charming Braniac 5's attempts to learn all languages on Earth.

I have also learned that television captioning is sometimes outsourced to some place where English is not spoken, or used as makework for drunken hobos, or most likely generated automatically using the Very Latest Technology.

Enjoy what I have gleaned from my venerable televisual reception device.

Are Men as Dumb as the Media Say We Are?

In my opinion men need to stop sneering and do something about that haircut.

Figure This One Out

I sometimes wonder if letterers cackle while they do this. From X-Factor 135.

An Act Often Played Out in Japan

Kancho (カンチョー, kanchō) is an act often played out in Japan; it is performed by clasping the hands together so the index fingers are pointing out and attempting to insert them sharply into someone's anal region when the victim is not looking. It is similar to the wedgie or a goosing, although the latter acts do not involve direct physical contact.

Your Tax Dullards at Work

Justice Department Filing Slams Net Neutrality
The Justice Department this week issued its support for a tiered approach to Internet service, and said that the imposition of net neutrality laws would hinder the continued growth of the Web.

You Just Ready That Stance, Heroes

As a Report Draws Near, Democrats Ready a Stance
By DAVID M. HERSZENHORN
Published: September 8, 2007

WASHINGTON, Sept. 7 — With Gen. David H. Petraeus set to testify before Congress on Monday about the status of the Iraq war, leading Democrats in the House and the Senate maneuvered Friday to portray his report as being controlled by the White House, while insisting that they did not doubt the general’s integrity.

I'm Floored

Someone called Will Allen in the comments at the Matthew Ygglelelslelseleleeisisis soapbox:

I dunno, Thomas, I actually was writing in 2000 that I expected Bush to be a terrible President, a yet I still voted for him twice, and might do so again if the alternative was still Gore or Kerrey,

I thought he would be terrible, yet I voted for him.

There comes a point when you might want to withhold a vote or do a write-in or something. I mean in the Dahmer vs. Manson contest does anybody seriously calculate the worth of Manson's ability to delegate as opposed to Dahmer's hands-on leadership?

Jonah Goldberg: Vacation Over?

There have been a spate of posts around the neighbourhood involving Jonah Goldberg. Each of course demolishes Jonah in a funny yet inevitable way - Psst: he's stupid! - but it seems like such a pile-on. Was he saving up the stupid for a while and unleashed it upon return? Is he somehow more stupid now?

Anyway:

One
Two
Three
What are we fighting for?

This Man Confounds Me

Porcupine Pie Lyrics
Artist:Neil Diamond

Porcupine Pie, Porcupine Pie, Porcupine Pie
Vanilla Soup, a double scoop please
No, maybe I won't, maybe I won't, maybe I will
The tutti fruit with fruity blue cheese

Ah, but Porcupine Pie, Porcupine Pie, Porcupine Pie
Don't let it get on your jeans
And though it sounds a little strange
Well, you gotta eat it with gloves
Or your hands will turn green

Ah, but porcupine pie, porcupine pie, porcupine pie,
It weaves its way through my dreams,
And I do believe I'm gonna have one and
Leave enough room for dessert, chicken ripple ice cream.

The Obvious

White Zombie were kind of stinky so I'm not surprised.

Please Supply Us With Poison!

I'm begging for unsafe products because they're cheaper!

People with PCs Should Try Launchy

Investigate here.

The web-site has an Easter egg for geeks:

Travel to exotic, distant lands, meet exciting, unusual people and torture them.

Also kill them, but you don't want to use the whole pitch at once. Look out though! You may be reprimanded.

Just the Stupid Comics for Me, Please

Pictured below are two representatives of the Japanese government. Seriously.

Armed with Certificates of BUMS

Quacks lead to bogus degree racket at Dadar
V Narayan
Saturday, August 25, 2007 10:10 IST

It is easy to become a ‘doctor’ and set up a ‘clinic’, after purchasing a ‘degree’, sold in the city for Rs 500-1000. A raid by Zone VII police on Thursday night, that led to the arrest of eight quacks, reveal this bitter truth.

According to the police, the quacks have been running their clinics, armed with certificates of Bachelor of Unani Medical Science (BUMS).

Recommended Bear and Puma Selections

Is Iraq going well? Sadly, No! Fortunately, there is a plan.

I left inspirational verse in comments which I reproduce here out of laziness. Forgive me. Please please forgive me.


Fly bears to Iraq
And they’ll chomp on the Sunnis
Shredding their faces
As if they were bunnies

Send pumas as well
And they’ll gnaw on the Shia
Testing the limits of
Onomatopoeia


Bears snarl through the mosques
Unicycling through blood
Like bears from that Garp guy
Not Bernard Malamud

The pumas leap downward
From verandas and trees
Eating every Iraqi’s
Much-prized Pekingese


Bears lope down the alleyways
Pawing through trash
Uncovering bales of
American cash

Pumas slink through the brothels
And slash at the johns
Showing Ali no mercy
Hassan flees in chiffon


Bears swing from the wires
And end up in the shower
They come out unshocked as
The wires have no power

Pumas munch on the snipers
And sniff at their guns
Paw at their crotches
And nip at their buns


The pumas head North
Sneaking into Mosul
Grinding their teeth
Into torso and skull

They start up a brief
Dairy factory fray
Just to find out if
They like Kurds and whey


Bears provide an answer
To that darned Iraqi cancer

Pumas will clean up
What the bears don’t deign to sup


Bears came swimming
Down the Tigris
Smelling stinky
But I digress

Once ashore
They ate a boatman
And then that was
All she wrote man


Pumas slurp the marrow of the dread Iraqi horde
Bears will chew their sinews with a passion untoward
The rivers and the streams will all run red with blood and then
The beasts march to Afghanistan to kill and kill again


Bears? Why you can
Go to hell sir
The army is
Don’t ask don’t tell sir


The noble puma stalks Iraq
Snapping bones in sneak attacks
The valiant bear patrols the streets
Feasting on insurgent meat

For freedom! Mangle brownish tots!
For justice! Slaughter girls in lots!
Let Liberty’s Paw smash brains to pulp!
And Peace’s Maw rend flesh to gulp!


While a bear started eating his leg
An insurgent was then heard to beg
“Bear spare me! Have pity!”
And the bear thought it witty
To let pumas crack his skull like an egg

The Glory of the New York Post

It seems reporter Laura Italiano does not have a master degree.

Short and Loud

I'm sure I've included some of these before but I'm one of those annoying people who doesn't get tired of songs. I can listen to a song I like for a straight day. And I do.

I Think This Makes Physical and Metaphorical Sense

People at Sadly, No! have been wondering who Megan McWhatsit reminds them of.

I Don't Understand Half of This

...but the other half is very funny. Necessary for computer geeks.

Other People Do Things Better Than Me

A smarter, more diligent, more passionate, more organized, more interesting and all-around-awesome me might produce something as wonderful as this destruction of Rich Lowry.

Unfortunately I'm the real me. Do you like comics? I do.

The World's Foremost Non-Muslim Anti-Semitic University

I introduce you to the Interregional Academy of Personnel Management!

In April 14-19, 2005 the MAUP weekly newspaper Personnel Plus published an open letter to President Yushchenko, Ukrainian Verkhovna Rada Speaker Volodymyr Lytvyn and Supreme Court of Ukraine Chief Justice Malyarenko calling for a parliamentary investigation into the "criminal activities of organized Jewry in Ukraine." The newspaper claimed that the letter was signed by more than a hundred scientific, civic, and political leaders.

On June 3, the MAUP sponsored a one-day conference entitled "Zionism As the Biggest Threat to Modern Civilization" attended by the former leader of the Ku Klux Klan in the United States David Duke. The Kyiv Post newspaper called the gathering "a disgusting orgy of racism and hatred." In August 2005, the MAUP awarded Duke with the Ph.D. degree.

After the Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad's threat to wipe out Israel evoked international condemnations, on November 4, 2005 the MAUP issued "a decisive protest against large-scale campaign, organized by Zionists, against Islam Republic Iran and its President Mahmud Ahmadi-Nedzhad... where he quoted the words of the Iranian spiritual leader Ayatollah Khomeini about future death of Israel and the USA."

In his November 22 statement, Georgy Shchokin, the MAUP's President who also heads the "International Personnel Academy" (IPA) and the Ukrainian Conservative Party (UCP), combined traditional Christian antisemitism with New antisemitism and failed to mention that the UN General Assembly Resolution 3379 of 1975 (equating Zionism and racism) has been revoked in 1991 by the UNGA Resolution 4686:

"We'd like to remind that the Living God Jesus Christ said to Jews two thousand years ago: 'Your father is a devil!' ... Zionism in 1975 was acknowledged by General Assembly of UN as the form of racism and race discrimination, that, in the opinion of the absolute majority of modern Europeans, makes the most threat to modern civilization. Israel is the artificially created state (classic totalitarian type).... Their end is known, and only the God's true will rescue all of us. We are not afraid, as God always together with his children!"

On December 1, 2005, the MAUP held a conference "The Jewish-Bolshevik Revolution of 1917 – the Source of the Red Terrorism and the Starvation of Ukraine".

In the March 2006 issue of the Personnel Plus, an article revived false ritual murder accusations from the infamous 1911 Beilis Trial. A week earlier, MAUP leaders visited the grave of Andrei Yuschinsky, a Christian boy allegedly "murdered by Jews with ritual purpose".

At a conference held at the MAUP Academy in Kiev, the heads of the MAUP accused "Rothschild's Soldiers" of the genocide of the Ukrainian people.

On August 15, 2006, an article on the MAUP's website denounced the Bnai Brith as "the Jewish Gestapo".

Ann Coulter

Pic from here.

A Question for Newt

If the USA got cancer would you leave it for another country?

Mom!

Try to get more points than me in Scrabble. Please try. It's hard to limit yourself to 5 points a turn and not get caught throwing the game.

Michael Medved's in Trouble

Michael Medved thinks Tom Tancredo's Mecca-nuking idea is nutty.

Rating of his article:



Representative comment:

SO WHAT THE HE!! WOULD YOUR
RESPONSE BE TO A NUCLEAR ATTACK ON AMERICAN SOIL??? Sit around and sing kubaya???

More Shame for Me

Could I say that I did the same?

Bassajjakambwe, who was a producer and researcher with 10 years of experience in radio, hit the airwaves as a storyteller on CBS Radio in 2001. He was a hit on the radio with his "weird facts" especially about the wars in Europe, Asia, Middle East and America.
He made several listeners knowledgeable.

Fucking Polls

Fuck you Blogger and your promises of polling. ALL MY DREAMS HAVE BEEN CRUSHED.

My Cat in Nature

My cat in the tree off my balcony, taunting me with the possibility of another jump. Lick my ass kitty! And he does!

The All-Short-Songs CD

Eye Roll Special

JOHN adds: This is a time, sadly, when scoundrels are in control in Congress. Slander is what they do best.

Attention: Plummeting and Gravity are Somehow Related

A Chilling Vision of the Future

After destroying America's economy George W. Bush is driven from office. His own fortune swallowed in a Ponzi scheme originated by Vice-President-in-Perpetuity Cheney (Bush was last to join) and his parental allowance cut off until he pays the country back for breaking its window, Bush seeks employment, knowing Social Security will not be there to bail him out. Lacking talent, experience, skill in the English language or good will from anyone who can place his face, he finds the job market unforgiving.

Job 1: The Payroll Loan Cashier
Bush works long evenings alone in a glass booth in the loaning cash at exorbitant interest rates to the desperate, a job he keeps for months as his customers are too defeated to complain about the contempt he holds them in. He is eventually robbed, soiling himself when confronted with a gun. The day-shift uploads the surveillance video to YouTube and Bush quits.

Job 2: The Telephone Solicitor
Unable to coherently read his script aloud, Bush alarms several elderly individuals who call Homeland Security. Bush's employers take time out from insurance rip-off promotion to point and laugh when officers apply modest physical pressure to their soon-to-be-fired employee in an attempt to gather information relating to whatever they make up on the spot.

Job 3: The Blogger
After one post, the complete text of which is a title reading "is this werking hello hello", Bush abandons this surefire route to riches. The librarians are relieved not to have "that guy" hanging around any more.

Job 4: The Sandwich-Board Clowner
Bush wears a rainbow wig and clown nose with a sandwich board advertising Tailfins, a car-wash featuring bikini-clad young women. The owner of Tailfins realizes quickly that bikini-clad women would be better at advertising bikini-clad women, and Bush's brief and unsuccessful tenure is cut short thanks to market efficiency.

Job 5: The Salter
Among other chores, Bush applies salt to French fries at a Wendy's. He is warned and then fired after customer complaints follow his experiments with a so-called "Salt and Awe" technique. After briefly threatening to become the Assaulter, taller men persuade him to leave.

Asshole Present and Accounted For

Disturbing, If True

This is Not Convincing

Chastened

Let Me Through! I Can Help!

I'm an aromatherapist!

Divine Kiddie-Rape

I suppose it's easy to agree that some Christian churches get some things more wrong than the Roman Catholic Church does, that is if you buy any of the main assumptions in the first place, but which major Christian church has been so poor in preventing the insertion of its clergy's extremities into children? Mote or beam, buddy, mote or beam?

School of Hard Cock-Blocks

Why can't I be married?
Being married means you have a sentimental commitment, and at Zamorano we expect students to be focused on their studies. We do not want him/her to think about what is happening elsewhere, or about people who could be depending on him/her financially. In summary, his energy and responsibilities should be aimed at successfully completing his degree.

Just for fun:

The Pan-American Agricultural School, better known as Zamorano, was born of the inspiration and through the support of Mr. Samuel Zemurray, President of the United Fruit Company in the United States of America.

The Wikipedia on the UFC.

With regard to the title above the proprietors must acknowledge that blockage of the vaginal region may theoretically be assumed for women as well, however they, in their purity and innocence, do not like sex.

Gee, Things Were Different Back Then?

Boo hoo.

Preserved Coloured in for Posterity

Actual page here but the page as of this posting is below.



I suppose I should mention that Jonah Goldberg is an ass who is astonishingly easy to make fun of.

Puppet Government

Elmo is the only Muppet ever to testify before the U.S. Congress. At the request and with the assistance of Rep. Duke Cunningham, he testified before the House Appropriations Subcommittee on Labor, Health and Human Services and Education in April 2002, urging support for increased funding in music education.

The George W. Bush Presidential Library

This thread on Fark got me thinking.

I envision an open-air design:

The Last Tree

L'Arbre du Ténéré, known in English as the Tree of Ténéré, was a solitary acacia, of either Acacia raddiana or Acacia tortilus, that was once considered the most isolated tree on Earth — the only one within more than 400 km. It was a landmark on caravan routes through the Ténéré region of the Sahara in northeast Niger — so well known that it is the only tree to be shown on a map at a scale of 1:4,000,000. It was located at approximately 17°45′00″N 10°04′00″E / 17.75, 10.066667.

This tree was struck not once but twice by vehicles and has been moved elsewhere, replaced with a metal sculpture. Follow the link to see pictures of the terrain and marvel that you and yours are allowed near machinery.

The Light at the End of the Tunnel

Daughter: [farting noises]

Me: When are you going to stop farting?

Daughter: In April.

Pegged! Tagged!

Oh lord.

Eight facts about me:

1. I'd really rather talk about anything but me

2. Other people would really rather talk about anything but me.

3. Self-loathing is an art, but self-loving is a pastime.

4. I don't want no scrubs.

5. I convinced a very smart girl that grapefruit left on the tree became explosive if over-ripe and that's why people hired illegal aliens to do the work.

6. I can play the theme from Star Wars on any instrument.

7. I have thrown many things from tall buildings.

8. My dad took me back-stage to see Tommy Hunter when I was little and I cried.

Mitt Romney, Dog Torturer

God I love election season.



That last comment is a beaut.

The Radiant Future

I use Foxlingo for translation purposes. It's awesome.



Many language choices.



Loads of translation engines for the popular languages.



Less choice and chancier results on, say, Turkish for instance.

Jesus, What a Tricky Fucker

For this is the only gospel we've ever seen that shows Jesus laughing at his disciples—because they have distorted his message and gotten it so wrong.

The oops that lasted 2000 years.

The President's Socks

Savour them.

Proof That There Will Be No Apocalypse

Look, if it didn't happen then it won't happen now. Tough luck Ann Althouse.

Via Altercation

Quote of the Day: George W. Bush, at the Mardi Gras theme BBQ on the South Lawn with Congress. President Bush speaking to the black musicians of New Orleans jazz band Kermit Ruffins and the Barbeque Swingers:

THE PRESIDENT: Kermit Ruffins and the Barbeque Swingers, right out of New Orleans, Louisiana. (Applause.)

MR. RUFFINS: Thank you. Thanks for having us. We're glad to be here.

THE PRESIDENT: Proud you're here. Thanks for coming. You all enjoy yourself. Make sure you pick up all the trash after it's over. (Laughter.)

Wow

Does Survival Research Labs have one of these yet?

Two Guys Talking Earnestly About Consciousness

Daniel Dennett and Robert Wright. Wright seems to me to be defeated in the battle of analogies.

No need to actually watch the video; listening's fine and they're not especially attractive anyway.

The Current Plan

Tattoo "vagina" to my hand so I can say "HA! YOU TOUCHED MY VAGINA!" whenever I shake hands.

There's a second and more personal reason which shall remain secret.