Friday, August 31, 2012

When Life Gives You Shit, Make Shit-Ade

Just posting the whole damned thing:
Eastwood’s Unexpected Gift
By William F. Gavin
August 31, 2012 11:47 A.M.

I am 77, just at that time of life when I am jaded, weary, and sometimes sick of tryin’. Then along comes Clint Eastwood to remind me that I haven’t seen it all, not by a long shot. Utterly bizarre, totally mesmerizing, unintentionally hilarious, horrifying and wonderful at the same time, like a brief scene from one of those absurdist plays they used to write in the 1960′s. He forgot his lines, lost his way, and, like the life-time jazz lover he is, improvised and did a non-musical version of scat singing. Two — count ’em! — references to an anatomically impossible act — before that audience. And this at the most buttoned-down convention in memory.

All this, his geezer stutterings and mutterings, the over-80 frailness, combined with his undeniable, inescapable charisma which we have watched for 50 years or so — just an unexpected gift, magnificent, inhabiting a different time-space continuum from that of Republican delegates and Mitt Romney (who delivered a good speech very well).

— William F. Gavin is author of Speechwright and a former assistant to Senator James L. Buckley.
In comments:
It was predictable that even someone beloved as Clint "you feeling lucky, punk?" Eastwood would be thrown under the bus after appearing at the RNC for Mitt Romney. Thanks for putting yourself out there, Clint! We appreciate your public stand.
The bus:

Thursday, August 30, 2012

Give Me Your Pop-Tarts Yearning to Breathe Free

Although I feel strongly that Nyan Mitt yearns for freedom beyond the starry background I'm not sure how to end the rainbow trail yet. There's fun in pretending it's a long flag.

Nyan Mitt Romney
Nyan Mitt Romney
Nyan Mitt Romney
Nyan Mitt Romney
Nyan Mitt Romney
Nyan Mitt Romney

...And of course...


Show me the science-fiction writer who imagined we could do this. SHOW ME.

Wednesday, August 29, 2012

There We Go

Nyan Mitt

Nothing but the best for my readers.

Vancouver Represent

I am really really enjoying the Best of Craigslist feed.

Penis Measuring

Date: 2010-03-02, 6:01PM PST

A friend of mine and I have been having a long-standing argument about whose penis is larger. We've tried having our girlfriends confirm to the other the exact size, but neither one of us buy it. I don't want to see his penis and he doesn't want to see mine. I don't want my girlfriend looking at his penis and he doesn't was his looking at mine.

So... We just need a girl to look at both of our penises (individually) and then to both of our faces say which one is bigger. We can't pay much. $50.
  • Location: Vancouver
  • it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
  • Compensation: $50
And if that didn't make you all misty-eyed...
Originally Posted: Tue, 23 Feb 17:49 MST

Totally AWESOME Kimball Organ

Date: 2010-02-23, 5:49PM MST

Dude, this thing is sick. You need this organ.
Find out why this does not turn on and then you will be ready to rock out, or play some hymns at your local church!
Make an offer, any offer! Any trades considered!
Would love to trade for a cute puppy like this:

Check out this video of what you could be doing in just a few short weeks of practice:

Here is a picture of the glorious beast.

There is a good chance that it stopped working because we brought it out in the snow to play while we snowboarded in our front yard..

Come get it before this weekend and I'll throw in a free high five! Yeah dude!

  • Location: Lakewood
  • it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
PostingID: 1614955019

Tuesday, August 28, 2012

Mitt Romney Will Lick America's Problems


Gotta get back on to Zombie Paul Ryan.


Charles Country and Western Cooke on the case:
I sent a few e-mails yesterday inquiring of Gawker’s staff how it felt about working for a company whose Cayman Islands–based finances are, as John Cassidy of The New Yorker put it, “organized like an international money-laundering operation” when they are nonetheless content to run a piece knocking Mitt Romney for tax avoidance. John Cook, who wrote the piece, responded, as did both Cord Jefferson and Hamilton Nolan. Cook informed me that Gawker’s Cayman connection has been common knowledge since 2010 and that I was late to the “scoop.” (A funny accusation, given that I wasn’t claiming a scoop, but Gawker, which touted Bain files that were almost all in the public domain, screamed “exclusive.”)

“I, too, was disappointed when I first learned those details from Reuters’ Felix Salmon and the New Yorker’s John Cassidy back in 2010,” wrote John Cook. Cord Jefferson added: “Way to crack the case on a fact openly linked to in the original story.* My comment is this: Nice job, Woodward.” This came in the midst of a very Gawker-esque barrage of sarcasm, which included descriptions of me as a “dimwit” and “f***ing idiot” and basic instructions as to how I might read pages on the Internet. I’d have been disappointed with anything else, I suppose.
I'm pleased too. EVERYONE should aspire to the Ben Shapiro level of self-pwnership. Apart from Cooke's desire to show how stupid people think he is, the post boils down to this:
If it is wrong to arrange your finances through the Cayman Islands, it is wrong to do so whether you are Gawker or whether you are Mitt Romney.
I am grateful that my membership in the left-wing groupthink cabal does not permit me to write I AGREE COMPLETELY THAT BOTH ROMNEY AND GAWKER SUCK FINANCIAL ASS in big bold text on a website for surely the whole socialist house of cards would collapse.

Monday, August 27, 2012

Blowing in the Wind Can Get You Killed


Via, which I guess should be added to the list here.

In further Catholic Schoolgirls Gone Wild adventures we have this from Maggie Gallagher:
But Tony Perkins has a point, too. It’s not just one instance of labeling the Family Research Council a “hate group.” It’s the persistent refrain among major gay-rights groups that opposition to gay marriage is in itself not only hatred but discrimination and a violation of basic human rights. This is the rhetoric of de-legitimization and ultimately dehumanization. Your opponents aren’t just wrong; they are evil.

That brings this to mind from Waking Up Now:

Then we get this statement from Maggie Gallagher:

I’m not surprised that Miss Beverly Hills, Lauren Ashley, opposes gay marriage — after all 45 percent of young Californians voted for Prop 8, as did 7 million Californians generally. But I have to say, I am impressed with her courage in coming forward and for speaking up for Carrie. The elected officials of city of Beverly Hills are not demonstrating tolerance or kindness by continuing the avalanche of hatred against supporters of Prop 8. [emphasis added]

Some interpret this as a total endorsement of Lauren’s statement [which, dear reader is "The Bible says that marriage is between a man and a woman,” said Ashley. “In Leviticus it says, 'If man lies with mankind as he would lie with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination. They shall surely be put to death and their blood shall be upon them.' The Bible is pretty black and white." -McG]. I try to be factual here, so I did the obvious thing. I wrote to Maggie.

I recently read your comments about Miss Beverly Hills on the Fox news website:

[And here I inserted the quote directly above.]

I feel certain that this cannot be your entire quote, since you’re responding to Lauren Ashley’s statement that gays shall surely be put to death. Could you please let me know the full version of your quote, so that we can all be clear on where you stand on the “surely be put to death” portion? Thanks.

And Maggie wrote back. Here’s her full response:

No i’m not. Maggie

Thank the Lord for incoherent responses.

Sunday, August 26, 2012

Seek, Hippies, Seek


Hmm, Hanna-Barbera might approve of that method of file-size shaving if it wasn't so much work. The crappiness of the work is acceptable.

The Blues

News of Republicans:
Tampa, Fla. — Greetings from the Sun Dome at the University of South Florida. Ron Paul will hold a rally here in a couple hours. His son, Senator Rand Paul of Kentucky, will speak, and John Popper of Blues Traveler will play a few tunes.
If you're a guy who names his band after a form of music black folks invented should you be hanging out with Ron Paul? Or is the pot that good?

Saturday, August 25, 2012

Movie Title Stills

Once again via H&F-J we have the Movie Title Stills Collection, a boon to photoshoppers all over the world.

Andrew Breitbart hentai

Kissing the Organ Goodbye

It's old and unwanted.

Kissing the Organ Goodbye

Look at the layout: open the top and you get diagrams on what the various modules are doing, and there's a second flip-up circuit board with more diagrams...I weep at the effort. But even Freecycle won't have it and it's too big and too-little used to justify the space it takes up. It's going to leave in lovingly disassembled pieces. I may save the spring reverb: plug those into an amp and they're Neubauten-style percussion instruments.

Friday, August 24, 2012

Black Humorism

Nicholas Eberstadt is outraged at the lack of bloodthirsty monsters in Norway:
Norway’s one-man Rassenreinheitseinsatzgruppe (Google translate it), Anders Behring Breivik, was just given the maximum for his crime in Norway: 21 years.

That’s right: 77 murders (mainly at a summer camp for immigrant children), 21 years.

The demographer in me has to do the arithmetic: This works out to less than 100 days per murder. That’s right: less than a summer per murder.
Bloodthirsty monster Mark Krikorian:
Nick: It’s not much consolation, but the Norway mass murderer (whose name, like the names the Sikh temple shooter or Gabby Giffords’s shooter or the Batman shooter, should be repeated as little as possible, since public exposure is what they crave) will likely spend the rest of his life in prison, since Norway apparently has “preventive detention” after a sentence has been completed. Though, of course, “the rest of his life” should last only until the authorities finish preparing the gas chamber or the gallows.
Or the skullcrusher or chestsmasher or what have you. We can argue about favoured methods of death all day! But here it gets weird:

But “Rassenreinheitseinsatzgrupp” isn’t the right epithet in this case. I have no doubt the creep hates foreigners, but the site of his crimes was not “a summer camp for immigrant children” nor were the victims mainly “immigrant children” — it was a camp for the socialist youth organization, and only a handful of the dead were of non-Norwegian origin. The names of the 77 victims, which should be publicized whenever possible, are listed here.

The absurd sentence did not stem from the fact that Norway “evaluate[s] its own immigrant children’s lost lives as being worth so very, very little.” Rather, Norway, like the rest of the developed world, has become so decadent that it can no longer take the vigorous measures any society needs to defend itself. A self-confident society that wasn’t apologizing for its ancestors and guilty about it success would, in an orderly, law-based fashion, put this fiend to death. He’s laughing all the way to the jailhouse.

Would that I had a komikal kwip to go with this but I don't because what I read there - Krikorian being the lead writer on the Mexican Menace and next in line for Derbyshire-style firing - is Dead Brown People = White Children Saved.

I honestly feel soiled for reading and writing the above. Is it me? Might vigorous defense of a society self-confident in its ancestry mean puppies and cotton candy for everyone?

Thursday, August 23, 2012

Wednesday, August 22, 2012

Via Hoefler and Frere-Jones

Tuesday, August 21, 2012

Smelling It

Jonah Fucking Goldberg:
Every now and then I watch the actual broadcast-news shows, just to see what they’re up to. Last night I caught NBC Nightly News with Brian Williams In their story on Augusta admitting women Stina Sternberg of Golf Digest said:
This is a momentous day for the game of golf and sports in general. It’s like the Berlin Wall of discrimination finally coming down in golf.
We could be here all day finding new insights into the absurdity crammed into this soundbite. I have no doubt it is a momentous day for the game of golf. And, I’ll leave it to others to argue how big a deal this is for sports. But the Berlin Wall of discrimination? What the hell?

First of all, the Berlin Wall kept people in, not out (a simple fact countless people still seem not to understand when it comes to, say, the Israeli defense barrier). It kept poor people and rich people alike in (though East Germany’s supply of rich people had a rapid half-life). Was Augusta keeping female golfers locked up in the club pantry?

The Berlin Wall was also a symbol of systematic evil and geopolitical nuclear brinkmanship. Augusta was a symbol of . . . well it was a symbol of various sorts to various people. But in no way was it a symbol of anything like the Berlin Wall save to the very dim or the very ignorant.
Also, let it be known that


Maybe Stina Sternberg graduated from Swarthmore.

Monday, August 20, 2012

What a Difference Two Hours and Forty Minutes Make

One crazy nitwit:
Polarized News, For Better and Worse
By Stanley Kurtz
August 20, 2012 10:37 A.M.

Newsweek’s cover shocker feels like desperate cry from a dying icon. The magazine long ago discredited itself as a common national source for news, taking leftist opinion-reporting to unprecedented extremes. This brief reversal will be too little, too late for conservatives, merely confirming that Newsweek has lost its bearings. General interest news magazines are so much a thing of the past that serial partisanship is what passes for neutrality now.
A second crazy nitwit:
The Stupids Step In It
By Michael Walsh
August 20, 2012 1:18 P.M.

Honestly . . . just when Newsweek hands the conservative movement a major victory in the MSM wars, along comes Todd Akin to throw the Left a life jacket and change the course of the conversation.
Newsweek is truly a magazine for everyone.

Old Posts About Typography

Hoefler & Frere-Jones have a rarely updated blog, but the RSS feed contains every post back to 2007. If you use Firefox they all load at once. Fun! And clearly in defiance of their design sense.

Sunday, August 19, 2012

Blemetheus Brings Fire to Cook Forty For Humans


Beach Zombie

A rare breed.

Flickr here.


Gum from Cartoon Brew on Vimeo.

Hmm. Vimeo's embedding is kind of sucky. Just click the gum link. Or maybe don't.

Saturday, August 18, 2012

Beats a Rock on a Trench

Go here for more.


Was it not that?

Friday, August 17, 2012

Just Because

It's not that it's genius or even interesting, but it reminds me that Pearl Jam were always lame.

Thursday, August 16, 2012

Search Results Don't Want Jizz All Over Them

Google Sucks

Conspiracies Are Our Business...and Business Is Good!

The whole of an item from Big Hollywood (less a picture with a double-neck twelve-string combo of a kind I have not seen before):
Megadeth lead singer Dave Mustaine just uncorked the mother of all conspiracy theories.

The singer told a Singapore concert audience that President Barack Obama is behind the recent rash of gun violence, from the movie theater massacre in Aurora, Colo. to the Sikh temple shooting which took the lives of six worshippers, in order to support a new gun ban.

The president, Mustaine said, is "staging all of these murders, like the Fast and Furious thing down in the border, in Aurora, Colo. all the people that were killed there, and now the beautiful people in the Sikh temple."

"I don't know where I'm going to live if America keeps going the way it's going," he continues. "It looks like it's turning into Nazi America."

Cue the heartfelt apology via Twitter in 3 ... 2 ...
Gosh, it's difficult to tell what the editorial position on this is. Maybe they'll sort it out in the comments thread.

Wednesday, August 15, 2012

Bus Projects

I've never followed a Photoshop tutorial closely before, but what the heck. Might as well get started.

Initial silliness:

Paul Ryan

You know, I still have the makings of this around...


I tell myself I'm gonna stick with the tutorial and I start adding layers and layers of shit.

Paul Ryan

Tuesday, August 14, 2012

Help a Brother Gentleman Out



Drink blue pus?
Clink brew thus?
Dink-chew Gus?
Stink poo plus?
Think you suss?
Nonetheless, I love that UndocuBus rhymes with incubus, given what illegal immigration is doing to our country.
Oh fuck off.


An incubus!"

"He raises such a stink," you fuss
"It forces one to think, 'Jealous!
If instead a succubus
were riding his l'il dinky-bus
He would be in the pink, I trust!'"
You recognize a fink and plus
You give the jerk a link, I cuss!


I believe we now require the verse tag.

Monday, August 13, 2012

Weathermen Required

Christian Schneider:
Romney’s ideological malleability is well known. As governor of Massachusetts and then U.S. Senate candidate against Ted Kennedy, Romney took politically advantageous positions that seemed to belie his inner conservatism. Whenever he had an argument with himself, it seemed like the other guy always won. As a conservative friend of mine rationalized, “At least he was tricking the liberals, not us.”

But with Romney’s selection of Paul Ryan as his running mate, the era of questioning Romney’s conservative credentials feels like the Mesozoic Era. He delivered conservatism’s most attractive antidote to the Obama economy, which speaks volumes about Romney’s dedication to free-market solutions to the nation’s ills. This glorious flip inoculates him against any previous flops.
I suspect the really annoying uncle is going to GET CHRISTIAN'S NOSE AGAIN!


Google appears to have upgraded again and Latvian Google now returns English cognates when you look up a guy's name in Farsi.




Sunday, August 12, 2012

Saturday, August 11, 2012