Tuesday, July 29, 2008

A List of Bad Bad People

This here's a long list of folks who bought diplomas from the St. Regis University-centered scam, the most notorious of diploma mills. Please forward to your local registrar.

The amount of people who bought high-school diplomas...okay that's an important hurdle I suppose, but paying for AA degrees when there are others available? What the hell?

Friday, July 25, 2008

This Is Just to Say

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Wednesday, July 23, 2008

I Perform a Miracle


Friday, July 18, 2008

Wish Fulfillment Spam

Thursday, July 17, 2008


Wednesday, July 16, 2008

I Endorse Nilla

Thank you Tony.
Tony said,
July 17, 2008 at 6:36 (kill)

a word meaning ‘white people’ that only white people are allowed to say

I’m pretty partial to “nilla” as in Nilla Wafers. It’s also a nice drop-in replacement for the N-word in many rap songs. Imagine the awesome cover art opportunities for “Nillaz With Attitude” albums.

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Mean for the Sake of It

Sacrificed Prancer and freshly-skinned Vixen,
Harpoon-impaled Donner and guillotined Blitzen,
Suffering Rudolph all tied up with strings,
These are a few of my favorite things.

How Many More Lives?

Saturday, July 12, 2008

Made for Each Other

Werner Todd Huston and Jonah Goldberg:

Top job is better because I unaccountably took more time, yet that is indeed Jonah's actual creepy hand.

Tuesday, July 8, 2008

A Horrible End

The Apostle Paul admonishes us to 'quit mixing in company .. not even eating with such an unclean [one].' -1 Cor. 5:9-11; Mark 2:13-17. Although Paul was speaking primarily about Christians who fell into sin, there is no reason to conclude that this inspired Biblical principle cannot be applied to association with cats. Uncleanness in any form is condemned by Jehovah and the fact that the Apostle Paul made no distinction when it came to associating with housecats proves beyond a doubt to the right-thinking worshiper of Jehovah that loyal Christians must avoid all association with all sources of uncleanness. This would logically include animals that either harbor these tendencies or indulge in such practices. Moreover it is a well-known fact that a common practice of pagan males was to have cats bat at their erect penises for luck and not incidental pleasure, a practice which continued at least through the reign of Domitian. In some areas the practice was supplanted by individuals dressed in cat costumes - mockingly called Furrisees by the disapproving - who would collect a fee for the service. As in observant societies throughout the world, the high and the low alike attend the same rituals, and the libertine practitioners of cat drag saw fit to enter and offer money in the local houses of worship, including, to his displeasure, many of those Paul himself held forth at in his travels through the nascent realms of Christianity. Thus it is that we speak of groping peter to pay Paul.*

*My apologies. The phrase "groping peter to pay Paul" occurred to me and I had to let it out. It seemed to require some ridiculous build-up I wasn't actually willing to write, so I stole the first part here after using this clever search and then the rest seemed obvious. Yes I will take my pills now.

Getting in Trouble

Some dude gives a speech, including this bit:
Finally, we need to integrate service into education, so that young Americans are called upon and prepared to be active citizens.

Just as we teach math and writing, arts and athletics, we need to teach young Americans to take citizenship seriously. Study after study shows that students who serve do better in school, are more likely to go to college, and more likely to maintain that service as adults. So when I’m President, I will set a goal for all American middle and high school students to perform 50 hours of service a year, and for all college students to perform 100 hours of service a year. This means that by the time you graduate college, you’ll have done 17 weeks of service.

We’ll reach this goal in several ways. At the middle and high school level, we’ll make federal assistance conditional on school districts developing service programs, and give schools resources to offer new service opportunities. At the community level, we’ll develop public-private partnerships so students can serve more outside the classroom.

For college students, I have proposed an annual American Opportunity Tax Credit of $4,000. To receive this credit, we’ll require 100 hours of public service. You invest in America, and America invests in you – that’s how we’re going to make sure that college is affordable for every single American, while preparing our nation to compete in the 21st century.

For our veterans, I was proud to be a strong and early supporter of Jim Webb’s bipartisan GI Bill, so that today’s vets have the same opportunity that my grandfather had under the GI Bill. To marshal their talents in building a new energy economy, I will launch an initiative to give our veterans the training they need to succeed in the Green Jobs of the future. It’s time to end our energy dependence at home so our national security isn’t held hostage to oil and gas from abroad.
And we will not leave out the nearly 2 million young Americans who are out of school and out of work. We’ll enlist them in our Energy Corps, so that disadvantaged young people can find useful work, clean polluted areas, help weatherize homes, and gain skills in a growing industry. And we’ll expand the YouthBuild Program, which puts young Americans to work building affordable housing in America’s poorest communities, giving them valuable skills and a chance to complete a high school education. Because no one should be left out of the American story.
Another dude comes up with this idea about it:
No, national service isn't slavery. But it contributes to a slave mentality, at odds with American tradition.
Y'know, if I was dude #2 saying this about dude #1 at work and dude #1 happened to be black I'd expect that my boss would give me a loud fucking earful, or maybe I wouldn't expect it because I'd be that fucking idiot Jonah Goldberg.

Monday, July 7, 2008

Libertarians Unite to Imprison Wrongthinkers!

A kooky English libertarian writes:

Look carefully upon the sad lesson of Britain. Don’t do what we (failed to) do, by not arresting all the Gramsco-Marxian Fabiano-pre-capitalist-barbarian people-wreckers, while we had the chance, when there were about five of them.

Then follows one of those Authoritative E-mail forwards, so clicking on the link is pretty much irrelevant.

Note also that having Ronald Reagan in the masthead is somewhat incompatible with libertarianism. With any luck the "L" word will become so corrupted, as with conservatism in America, that it will mean only that the bearer's tongue will remain in the anus of a particular person for a set duration.

Sunday, July 6, 2008

Own Goals

A minor link round-up of nerve-gas tests (proposed and completed) by the good guys on the good guys.