Wednesday, December 12, 2012

There Will Be Soup

BILL O'REILLY: All right, fair share. You're a rich guy now -- fair share in taxes. Now, I think, your state is up to about 14 percent state income tax.

President Obama wants to raise it up to about 40 percent Federal. That's 54 percent. If he knocks out the deduction for state income taxes which he wants to do, you'd be paying 54. What's fair.

ADAM CAROLLA: Well, first off, we should stop saying, "tax the rich," and say, "tax the successful." Because I'm not rich, I'm successful. And rich is easy to tax because that's just the guy who inherited daddy's money, whose dad was the Monopoly man and he lives up on the hill.

I'm successful, you're successful because we worked our tails off. And it's harder to take money away from people that work very hard for it.

And it's very easy to say, "Tax the rich." But, really, it should be "Tax the successful." But I've done the math.

O'REILLY: Yes, Miller says that, too. And Miller is mad. I mean, he's angry about it because he's saying, "Look, I'm getting targeted, me, Dennis Miller, because I have achieved something."

So, it's really, it is taxing the successful. But it's also taxing achievement. And, to some extent, rewarding non-achievement is what it is.
Below is an artist's rendering of a composite of Bill O'Reilly and Adam Carolla and Dennis Miller as they might look should they have to pay taxes.

Fortunately, there will be soup.


El Manquécito said...

"I've done the math..."

Always a tell.

tigris said...

because I have achieved something


mikey said...

Somebody should make them say how they think the Federal government should be funded. Because, contrary to all the CEO horseshit, governments are not profit centers - they are distribution centers. Essentially, their job is to provide services to the community, which the community funds. That picture up there is less how they they picture themselves if their tax rate goes up 4%, but rather exactly the person they believe should pay for all those government services...

Substance McGravitas said...

Those government services are unnecessary, while the market has proven that Bill O'Reilly and Adam Carolla and Dennis Miller must receive millions.

The entirely trustworthy internet helps prove the case that America wants Bill O'Reilly more than 360 mooching high-school teachers who have no achievements to speak of.

Rob Patterson said...

I know almost nothing about Adam Carolla but now I know I hate him.

Substance McGravitas said...

There was The Man Show, which was not funny.

Smut Clyde said...

And it's harder to take money away from people that work very hard for it.

This is why you should instead take money away from *poor* people, who have (by definition) not worked so hard for it so they'll miss it less.

Dr.KennethNoisewater said...

Omg, "Man Show" has-been fancies himself a success. That is hilarious.

M. Bouffant said...

A.C. also failed on the radio as a replacement for Howard Stern.

But now he has a podcast so it's all good.

Substance McGravitas said...

In Canada the federal budget was balanced on the backs of the provinces; money flows through the feds and gets reapportioned: the feds just cut that and let everyone else deal with the fallout.