Thursday, July 19, 2012

Making the Rounds

A self-penned obituary:
Now that I have gone to my reward, I have confessions and things I should now say. As it turns out, I AM the guy who stole the safe from the Motor View Drive Inn back in June, 1971. I could have left that unsaid, but I wanted to get it off my chest. Also, I really am NOT a PhD. What happened was that the day I went to pay off my college student loan at the U of U, the girl working there put my receipt into the wrong stack, and two weeks later, a PhD diploma came in the mail. I didn't even graduate, I only had about 3 years of college credit. In fact, I never did even learn what the letters "PhD" even stood for. For all of the Electronic Engineers I have worked with, I'm sorry, but you have to admit my designs always worked very well, and were well engineered, and I always made you laugh at work. Now to that really mean Park Ranger; after all, it was me that rolled those rocks into your geyser and ruined it. I did notice a few years later that you did get Old Faithful working again. To Disneyland - you can now throw away that "Banned for Life" file you have on me, I'm not a problem anymore - and SeaWorld San Diego, too, if you read this.
More here.

6 comments:

Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

He left out the bit about shooting that man in Reno.

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

I'd like to run this past Telepathic Ed.
~

fish said...

I read that. I would love to go out with that much grace and style.

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

fish, you know you're going to go out gasping for breath and flopping around, destined for Mrs. Paul's killing floor.

tigris said...

Aw, he sounds pretty great.

mikey said...

Hey, I'VE been thrown out of Disneyland! Sadly, not banned for life, but tossed out. I've also been thrown out of Washoe County, Nevada - actually escorted across the county line. That was...interesting.

I got stuck at the top of the Sky Tower at Sea World once - it took them over an hour to get us down. I had a bottle of bourbon and shared it with the other passengers, but nobody was upset with me and I ultimately suffered no sanction at the hands of the Sea World management...