The Business

Let's guess!

It was close, but no cigar for former media baron and convicted felon Conrad Black at this year’s XXXXXXXX XXXXXXXX Book Award ceremony in Toronto.

This year's what? Oh right, that's the guessing part.

Black, one of three nominees, was a candidate for the prize for penning A Matter of Principal, an autobiographical yarn about his conviction and 42-month jail sentence in the United States for fraud and obstruction of justice. The award, sponsored by XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX, was given out Monday at the Ritz-Carlton hotel.

Well done, Toronto Sun! I believe A Matter of Principal is Seymour Skinner's autobiography.

The 67-year-old Black, who returned to Canada on May 4 after serving time in a Florida prison, told the Toronto Sun he was “astounded” he had been nominated, and never expected to win.

“I’m not disappointed,” said Black, who lost to veteran XXXXXXXX and his book, XXXXXXXX XXXXXXXX: XXXXX XXXXXX XX XXX XXXX XXX XXXX, XXXX XXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXX.

Whoa, that is a long title for a book competing with Mr. Black's no-doubt succinct boo-hoo for getting caught on video carting off evidence.

“I was astounded that I was nominated ... I didn’t expect to win. I don’t win an awful lot of CanLit awards, you know,” said Black.

Are you Canadian or something?

Also nominated was XXXXX XXXXXX for his book, XXX XXXX: XXX XX XXXXXXX XXX XXXXXX XX XXX XXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXX.

Last year’s winner was XXXX XXXXXX for his book, XXXXXXX XXX: XXX XXXX XXX XXXXXXXX XXX XXXXX.

All right then, three books with colons in the title and at least one written by an asshole can only mean Conrad Black was nominated for the National Business Book Award. I may have to borrow the Riddled Time Machine and steal the American Psycho manuscript for nomination at next year's ceremony.

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Love! You don't love anybody! Me or anybody else! You want to be loved - that's all you want!

Black said he intends to apply for full citizenship in two years when "it is clear that I don't have cloven feet and wear horns."

He said he would reconsider applying to regain his citizenship if there were significant public backlash against his bid.

"I am not going to do anything that is going to lead to gratuitously antagonistic people making apparently plausible claims that I am morally unsuited to be a citizen of this country," Black said.

NDP leader Thomas Mulcair:

“Mr. Speaker, the member for Trinity-Spadina and I last year asked why Gary Freeman, who lived in this country peaceably for 40 years and had several children, was not being allowed back in the country. The answer was an event that happened in Chicago in the sixties and he had served a short jail time. They said that because he was not a Canadian he was not allowed back in,” the leader of the opposition recounted.

“We just learned that the British criminal Conrad Black will be allowed in despite serving a second term in a federal American penitentiary,” he reported. “Why the double standard?”

The New Democrats seated around him stood to applaud.

If that keeps Conrad Black out of the country Mulcair will win votes.