Saturday, May 12, 2012

The Church on Avenue Q

I left this in a comment at Roy's in response to this line from Jeffrey Kuhner:
Homosexual behavior, especially sodomy, is unnatural and immoral.
What makes the saints
Fall down in faints
And hallucinate rivers of blood?
Homosexual acts!
Gay beasts with two backs!
The writhing of hot stud on stud!

But of all the acts we take the time to contemplate...
There's but one for which the Godhead squirts out perfect hate...

It's sodomy!
Especially sodomy!
If your brown eye has a need well
Through it no man should pass!

You stop that sodomy,
Said my God to thee,
It's not for laughs
That we come with
Our rods and staffs
And smite! That! Ass!

__________

I've really got to put nonsense like that to music. This one should have a martial/marching zippiness.

14 comments:

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

And what animation will accompany this song?
~

Substance McGravitas said...

I'm picturing a follow-the-bouncing-balls kind of thing.

mikey said...

Homosexual behavior, especially sodomy, is unnatural and immoral.

I always have a series of odd, meta thoughts when I read stuff like this.

Questions of universal morality, Questions about how YOU know what god thinks when I have no knowledge of it at all, why god should care who puts what tab in what slot, why if god HATES it so bad he made it part of being human...

So many questions, so little logic, so few explanations, so much hate...

vacuumslayer said...

why god should care who puts what tab in what slot

God does not want you putting it in the USB port, mikey! How many times do I have to tell you?

fish said...

That's right. Steve Jobs prefers FireWire.

M. Bouffant said...

Illegal, immoral & fattening.

Smut Clyde said...

Sorry Substance, it's been done.

Smut Clyde said...

Lyrics:

Sodomy...
You must think it's very odd of me
That I enjoy the act of sodomy
You might call the wrath of God on me
But if you try it, then you might agree
That you enjoy the act of sodomy...

Don't worry if you feel ashamed
It's been around for years
Thousands more that can't be named
Are interested in rears
Don't worry about Hell
No harm will come to your soul
We're not all pentacostal
But everybody's got an asshole...

Let me tell you 'bout sodomy
You must think it's very odd of me
That I enjoy the act of sodomy
You might call the wrath of God on me
But if you try it, then you might agree
That you enjoy the act of sodomy...

It might just improve your sex
A hard act to follow
The fact that fundamentalists find
Difficult to swallow
So join me as I sing
Of an activity that's fun
Open up your ring
and try it front-to-bum!
Bum-bum!
Bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum

Sodomy
You must think it's very odd of me
That I enjoy the act of sodomy
You might call the wrath of God on me
But if you try it, then you might agree
That you enjoy the act of sodomy...

SODOMY!!!

Substance McGravitas said...

Sorry Substance, it's been done.

Wow! Whoever did that song should be perpetually granted dictatorial power over labour in the arts in whatever odd country he must be from!

Smut Clyde said...

After you've made a film starring degenerate muppets, it must be a let-down having to work with actors again.

vacuumslayer said...

Sodomy?

Sodoyou!

I am tipsy.

Righteous Bubba said...

Also, saw Meet the Feebles many years ago and traumatized my Muppet-loving sister with it. It's like a very long 2 girls 1 cup for cute-o-philes.

Substance McGravitas said...

That Bubba jerkoff brags and brags.

el Manquécito said...

Can I just have the rum and the lash?