Tuesday, May 22, 2012


Remember that stupid Keystone Pipeline? It was going to send even-more-planet-destroying-than-usual oil products south from Alberta to various places in M. Bouffant's United Snakes with the ultimate purpose of shipping the crap to China just a little bit more cheaply. Filthy hippies and grasping bastards were outraged - OUTRAGED I TELL YOU - so Mr. Obama has put decisions on hold until 2013 so the disappointment can be post-election.

But what if the disappointment happens to the right people and not the wrong people? Build another pipeline. Once I had some irrelevant thoughts about how the obvious destination for such a pipeline was the politically-untenable Vancouver: we have infrastructure and rail and a decent port and so forth. Also a lot of hippies who would make such a thing impossible, including a well-dressed hippie mayor (he owns a fucking hippie juice company). Of course I was right about Vancouver in a sense (not even on the drawing board) but I did not remember the alternate outlet of tiny Kitimat which has to have one of the cutest town names ever. It also has a giant aluminum company and export facilities to help it do its thing.

Now I gather the big deal around the contingency plan is to avoid the United States, and I suppose pie-eyed optimists are hoping that's the result of the pipeline's potential environmental impact, locally and globally. But hey, what's that yellow line just 150km northwest of Kitimat and along one of the potential routes for the toxic sludge everybody wants?

Why that is the border of Alaska, which as far as I recall has had no issues whatsoever with oil shipping. Plus we got other pipelines on the go already so nyah.


zombie rotten mcdonald said...

You're welcome. Enjoy a big old helping of America-style Freedom.

tigris said...

How much juice in in the typical hippie?

Substance McGravitas said...

Depends on your squeezing apparatus.

fish said...

Kitimat is where I go to wash my kiti.

M. Bouffant said...

270 rezultātiem
I'll try harder. Thanks for noticing, too.

It is important to wash your donkey as well as your kiti.

Substance McGravitas said...

Aptuveni 470 rezultāti

Yay for personalized results!

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

Hippie juice?

How about a shake?