Saturday, October 9, 2010

Thousands

An interview with two scholarly gentlemen:
"Did you anticipate this kind of reaction?" I ask them.

"No," sighs Violent J. "I figured most people would say, 'Wow, I didn't know Insane Clown Posse could be deep like that.' But instead it's, 'ICP said a giraffe is a miracle. Ha ha ha! What a bunch of idiots.'" He pauses, then adds defiantly, "A giraffe is a fucking miracle. It has a dinosaur-like neck. It's yellow. Yeah, technically an elephant is not a miracle. Technically. They've been here for hundreds of years…"

"Thousands," murmurs Shaggy.
There is so much more, and so much weirder. I'm not kidding: READ THE WHOLE THING.

17 comments:

J— said...

I'm going to read their evangelicalism as further pretense.

Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

"A giraffe is a fucking miracle. It has a dinosaur-like neck

Uh, not really, clown... count the friggin' vertebrae.

Fuckin' math, how does it work?

Substance McGravitas said...

I'm going to read their evangelicalism as further pretense.

Have they done pretense before?

J— said...

Well, maybe posturing would be a better word, and this one seems like a ruse to me.

Substance McGravitas said...

I just haven't noticed them succeed at anything that requires um, that thing, up in your head, the thinky thing.

They have been such terrible artists for so long that I can't imagine them pulling off performance art so convincingly.

J— said...

Oh, I'm not saying they're doing it well. I think they've done everything so far in a terrible, ugly, and stupid manner. But I don't think they need much brains to say, "Dude, let's say we've been Christians all along just to fuck shit up." Some of their answers to the journalist's questions show me they haven't done much work to develop the consistency and details of their backstory.

Substance McGravitas said...

But they've been stupid from the get-go. It was obvious from their first records that they weren't funny or sharp enough to throw a curve ball. They're genuinely dumb guys, and they have the same gripes they've always had and rationalize in about the same way, just now with God.

What Would Occam Say?

J— said...

"Everywhere I scrape my razor, I find bullshit."

tigris said...

"Who looks at the stars at night and says, 'Oh, those are gaseous forms of plutonium'?"

Wow, they're right, I never say that!

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

Fucking giraffes, how do they work?
~

Smut Clyde said...

Uh, not really, clown... count the friggin' vertebrae.

Tetrapod Zoology:
"counting giraffe neck vertebrae is not so simple in my experience. The problem is that the eighth vertebra looks more like a cervical than a thoracic, and has a junction with the ninth that looks more like the junction you normally see between the seventh and the eighth. The soft tissues are also significant in this debate: the brachial plexus (the big nerve cluster associated with the base of the neck) is adjacent to the eighth vertebra in giraffes, whereas in other mammals it is adjacent to the seventh. It is these factors which suggest to some that the eighth vertebra should be regarded as part of the neck, in which case giraffes have 8 neck vertebrae. Like I said though, not everyone agrees with this."

Fucking giraffes, how do they work?
HTH.

M. Bouffant said...

À propos: WV is "butho"

-30-

mikey said...

When you self-identify as Insane Clowns who have formed up as a Posse, it's a reasonably compelling indicator that you aren't planning on making your mark in the world as an intellectual.

People, to a large degree, do not like clowns. I myself am frightened of clowns, even sane ones. Confronted by clowns who are insane, I would expect my fight or flight instinct to be triggered.

In my analysis, they are living up to expectations...

Substance McGravitas said...

Expectations may differ. As a fan of NARC I had high hopes for the Insane Clown Posse. Listening to them ended that quickly.

fish said...

if Alanis Morissette had done that fucking song everyone would have called it fucking genius."

Isn't it ironic?

mikey said...

Huh. I have so much to learn.

Here I thought NARC was the successor program to RICE...

NutellaonToast said...

I know. I know. I'm overdoing this contrarian thing but I actually find that pretty damn compelling. Their explanation of "fuck scientists" is borderline self aware.