Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Hippies on Rascals

Hi Zombie!* What's up?
This is a memo to America’s hippies:

Tea Party values are hippie values.
What?
You heard me right.
No I didn't. WHAT?
The Tea Party is the one social movement in contemporary America that can rightfully claim to be the ideological heir to the original hippie movement that started in the mid-’60s.
What I remember about that hippie movement was that they were righteously angry old people, wanted to drop bombs on deserving folks in other countries and loved seeing people in jail for all sorts of stuff that was actually worthy of flogging and death. Surely today's whacked-out snakey-dancing "tea" party libertines are more threatening. Aren't they? Let's see!
If you, as a hippie, think the thesis of this essay couldn’t possibly be true, you’ve been paying too much attention to the mainstream media.
This is true of hippies! They were unfailingly trusting of elitist societal mouthpieces to tell them what was good for them! Tell me more!
The Tea Party has been intentionally misrepresented, villainized and smeared by the powers-that-be. But this too is a feature that the Tea Party shares with hippies — the hippie movement was itself misrepresented and smeared by a different mainstream media over 40 years ago.
OMG THEY SMEARED THE HIPPIES AS "THE SILENT MAJORITY"!
In short, the Tea Party and the hippie movement share four fundamental core values:

* A craving for independence;
* A celebration of individualism;
* Joy in the freedom offered by self-sufficiency;
* And an acceptance of the natural order of things.
I'm convinced! The next time one of these gentle hairy kids with the oversized pupils hands me a brownie, I'm a-chompin'! FOR AMERICA!

*Gotcha.

30 comments:

mikey said...

You totally get the whole thing wrong. Hippies wanted to party and fuck. Grunts? We wanted to party and fuck.

When I landed at Travis in December of 1970, there were demonstrators in long hair, no bras and chants. And Many of them slept with me. And got me high and helped me adjust.

For what it's worth, while some people DID say mean stuff, nobody, say it again, NOBODY spit on me.

Now, y'gotta understand. Technology had raced ahead of real life. To the extent that I was leading a fire team outside the wire and three weeks later I was on the ground in San Francisco. And it was fucking scary. And people shouldn't have to try to decompress that way.

And now we make everyone do it four or five times? That's insanity...

Substance McGravitas said...

You totally get the whole thing wrong. Hippies wanted to party and fuck.

No no, I think my research on hippies is good. Hippies wanted peace with honour.

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

That sumbitch is also smearing zombies.

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

say it again, NOBODY spit on me.

Well, I believe if you think more clearly, there are quite a few MBAs who spit on you.

Me, too.

Substance McGravitas said...

I believe Zombie is a gurl. Too scared to investigate.

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

The chart that fuckweasel whomped together is good for some yonks too.

Meanwhile, I am gonna hunt that fucking fake zombie down and administer a good old fashioned beatdown, redneck-cop-vs.-flower-child style. perhaps it will clear his vision.

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

Well, I believe if you think more clearly, there are quite a few MBAs who spit on you.

Me, too.

well, fuck but THAT was written like something from Loadpants, wasn't it?

I meant, of course, that MBAs spit n me as well as you. NOT that I spit on you.

Sorry for the confusion. I blame the cheap wine, as well as that Righteous Bubba bastard.

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

Comment mining:

I went from no party to foolishly voting for Carter because he seemed like a good guy to being a Libertarian who voted for Reagan in the 70s. I have always tolerated the Social Conservatives and Christian Right in the GOP because I understand that you need 51% to get anything done, but I have defined myself as a Libertarian since 1978. I have often bit my tongue as I listened to Christian Conservatives preach their Victorian BS because it is useless to debate people whose minds are made up.

I can tell you that all the Tea Partiers I know are genuine Hippies who once had long hair, smoked dope, and lived in Madison, WI, one of the great Hippie centers. And most male Hippies I know have been NRA life members since the 70s too. Hippies represented the ultimate expression of Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness. We knew that we were the true expression of the American Dream.


Wait, he voted for Carter, then voted for Reagan in the 70s? But Reagan ran in 1980, except in CA. But he refers to Madison, as if he was there.

I grew up near Madison. This nostril-goblin has never been NEAR Madison.

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

living in suburbia with some firearms.

Talk about living in sin; I don't think that relationship is authorized in the Bibble.

Apparently, everybody thinks they were hippies.

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

one more:

On the other hand, I can see Fat Freddy’s Cat in the Tea Party.

Yoinks!!

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

regardless, I ain't eating that fucking brownie.

M. Bouffant said...

I was really only a teenie-bopper in those halcyon days, but we all were pretty sure that by the time we were grown-ups the machines would be doing all the work, & it would be all gravy from there.

In other words, retirement, just like the 'Baggers.

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

On the other hand, I can see Fat Freddy’s Cat in the Tea Party.

oddly enough, so can I. At this point, he would be fat and dead and need a Rascal.

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

Now I remember why I rarely get out of the boat.

The stupid makes me get all riled up, and ignore the things I really SHOULD be doing.

However; it should be said that we will settle Fake Zombie's hash soon enough. O yes we shall.

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

*Gotcha.

Bastard. And not the good, Big, Bald kind.

I will send the bill for my blood pressure treatment to you, shall I?

M. Bouffant said...

I believe Zombie is a gurl. Too scared to investigate.

I think I've heard that too. Robin of Berzerk-ly under a diff. pseud.?

WV: comic

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

piffle. West Coast Canadianoid and LA-fancypants liberal nihilist. NEITHER of you could survive the high-fat, brandy-laden lifestyle here in the Land of Fonzie, I dare ya to try.

Substance McGravitas said...

I did my time in the midwest.

Mmmm, pork.

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

I did my time in the midwest.

Couldn't handle it, huh?

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

OK, wait, just hold on here, my liberal breather brothers...

Should we really be arguing, and fighting about who killed who? This should be a 'appy occasion!

Let's focus on the important thing here: Fake Zombie is a colon-bag who needs to have his brains mashed into a tartare, and served to several appreciative voles!

Substance McGravitas said...

Couldn't handle it, huh?

Who'd live there? I mean, come on.

Oh, oops.

Dragon-King Wangchuck said...

Recipe for Zardoz

1. Convince libertardian idiot to blog under the name "Zombie"
2. Linkee
3. ???
4. Zardoz!

But SRSLY, that "newly conceptualized spectrum" is a fucking laugh.

In defense of the "Teatards are Hippies" argument, you gotta admit that Fake Zombie is on some pretty impressive drugs.

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

you gotta admit that Fake Zombie is on some pretty impressive drugs.

He's certainly having a problem with anal leakage.

Dragon-King Wangchuck said...

OMG! Fake Zombie is totes right. Hippies hated LBJ's Vietnamese Freedom Tour therefore this must also be troo:
Hippies didn’t particularly like Lyndon Johnson, the Democrats, or their ’60s-era “Great Society” big-government programs.
Although I wasn't yet birthered in the Sixties - I remember quite clearly how troo this was. Hippies were totes Anti-War... Anti-War on Poverty that is!

Substance McGravitas said...

Hippies would have been aghast at a black man in the White House.

fish said...

Hippies are totally against masturbation and witches.

Substance McGravitas said...

Hippies stand athwart history yelling STOP!

fish said...

The hippies also have a negro problem.

WV: dissed

lol

tigris said...

* A craving for independence;
* A celebration of individualism;
* Joy in the freedom offered by self-sufficiency;
* And an acceptance of the natural order of things.


The first two of those are true of everyone over age 4, the third is not true of teabaggers(except possibly theoretically), and the fourth is not true of hippies.

Substance McGravitas said...

The first two of those are true of everyone over age 4

You are such a nice person.