Wednesday, October 27, 2010

The Final Cock-Block

Sporting news:
A giant red stag, thought to have been the biggest wild land animal in the UK, has been shot dead.

The creature, named the Exmoor Emperor, weighed more than 135kg (300lb) and stood nearly 2.75m (9ft) tall. It was killed in the middle of the annual rut.

[...]

The Exmoor Emperor was given its name by photographer Richard Austin, who said he was not surprised at the shooting.

He said: "With a set of antlers that this deer had, it was going to kill him in the end.

"Growing that big and that huge and that magnificent, he was a definite target."
It has always surprised me that nobody has bothered to shoot Mount Everest.

12 comments:

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

Don't give the American Taliban ideas.
~

Smut Clyde said...

"Growing that big and that huge and that magnificent, he was a definite target."

Perhaps it is time I trimmed my beard. And started wearing pants.

Dragon-King Wangchuck said...

I don't want to know about the antlers.

Dragon-King Wangchuck said...

Incidentally that deer was probably going to die soon anyways. The only folks with BMI's under 18 are sufferers of eating disorders and hardcore drug abusers.

Substance McGravitas said...

Where can I purchase one of these eating disorders?

Smut Clyde said...

With a set of antlers that this deer had

We true sportsmen who have mastered the language of venery know to use the term "Attires". The term 'antler' is of course specific to the lowest branch or tine, closest to the eye (as the etymology "antoillier <- ante ocularis" would suggest). Then you have the bezantler, then the tres-tine or royal, then the surroyals.

I remember all this from a proper education, and not from reading T. H. White or anything.

Did you know that when the attires are mounted on the wall still attached to a plaque of the skull, they are properly called a 'massacre'? I did not know that.

ckc (not kc) said...

If you want to speak venery, you should go back to Venus where you belong (damned immigrants!)

M. Bouffant said...

If Everest could be mounted in some hick's rec room, it would've been long ago.

Enough of this should give anyone an eating disorder.

Smut Clyde said...

Have a care, ckc (not kc). You do not want to repeat the mistake of Sir Pellinore, who said "quarry" when he should have said "pluck", earning himself a spanking with the flat of the sword.

NutellaonToast said...

Everest is shot yearly by mountain climbers. What are you talking about? The only real difference is that sometimes it shoots back.

Another Kiwi said...

There is a very bad joke to be made here about an incident last week in NZ when a woman in a camping site was shot by a nighttime hunter as she brushed her teeth.
I would not make that joke and resent the implication that I might do so, Sir.

M. Bouffant said...

"Nighttime" hunting? No wonder the hobbits are leaving.