Friday, August 20, 2010

The Bible Keeps You Stupid

Jennifer Keeton is a crazy bonehead who enrolled in a graduate program in counselling:



The school noticed that she'd probably be a shitty counsellor if she continued to be such an asshole and set out a program for her to follow if she wanted to graduate:




Ha ha, the idiot was told to wear the dunce cap. But instead, as assholes do, she sued.

In a rare piece of cheery news, the jerk lost:
A federal court judge has decided Augusta State University student Jennifer Keeton can be expelled from ASU's counseling program if she does not complete a remediation plan that involves diversity and sensitivity training about homosexuality.
Enjoy your legal bills, dimwit, and doesn't the Bible tell bitches our sisters in Christ to shut the hell up? I think I read it in the book of Galoshes.

12 comments:

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

She'll probably get a job with FAUX.
~

Substance McGravitas said...

Not much of a voice on her.

Substance McGravitas said...

Link.

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

Oh point taken, she's no Sarah Palin...
~

Willy said...

The first sin was to partake of fruit from the Tree of Knowledge. That's pretty much driving pilings into the bedrock of Stupid.

mikey said...

"Why do you want to be a counselor, Jen?"

"I want to help people. Well, not so much "People" exactly. SOME people. People, um, people like ME. People EXACTLY like me. I want to help people who fall into a certain category, the category of people just like Jen and her mommy and daddy."

"What about OTHER people, Jen? Other people who need help and guidance?"

"Fuck 'em. You let in one homo, and before you know it you have mexicans and muslims and atheists and dirty, smelly homeless people and...Yeesshh, the whole thing just makes me nauseous. You know, the Bible says I can kill most of them. I think I need to use an old sword, or maybe some animal bones, I'm not sure. But there's a formula, and you can kill them."

M. Bouffant said...

Probably no legal bills (Gawd dammit!):

Today, the Alliance Defense Fund Center for Academic Freedom filed a lawsuit against officials at Augusta State University on behalf of counseling student Jennifer Keeton.

Wasn't that nice?

Substance McGravitas said...

I maintain the hope that the ADFCAF is a free-market operation.

Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

She'll probably get a job with FAUX.

She's too bony right now- she'd have to get a 100% Bible-approved boob job.

Willy said...

She's too bony right now- she'd have to get a 100% Bible-approved boob job.

Little Known Factoid: Bible-approved implants have the saying "I am the Bread of Life" on them.

mikey said...

Hey! Maybe THATS what the holy ghost does! Boob inspector....

Substance McGravitas said...

Didn't the Holy Ghost bang Mary? Can't be arsed etc.