Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Why Dreams Are Important

I dreamed last night that M. Bouffant had taken some kinda youth drug and wound up in high school. For some reason I was hanging around the high school too. Then Bouffant took another drug that turned him even younger and also into a girl. He was then in the same class as my daughter. I thought I'd help out and went the school office to sort out why one student went missing and another showed up. A visiting member of a pipe band was also in the office and said "Well, why don't you use some of those liberal blogger skills?" I said "That's what I'm doing fuckhead" and mushed his hat down into his face, then brought his head down to meet my knee. Most satisfying, and I woke up smiling at that point.

Also for sale in the school office were snack-sized portions of fresh warm poo.



13 comments:

J— said...

As M. Bouffant awoke one morning from uneasy dreams he found himself transformed in his bed into a gigantic schoolgirl.

The above is mine, all mine--the words, the ideas, the phrasing, because the Enlightenment has waned.

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

Bake for 9-11 minutes

How DARE liberal turd-cookie makers insult the victims of 9/11 and the hollow ground like that!!111!one!!!

I'm notifying Pammalammadingdong right now. Then you will be sorry, mister terrorist-appeaser!
~

mikey said...

Oh yeah.

I'm thinking we serve them with a glass filled with four parts lemonade and one part sparkling water.

And maybe a crucifix...

Jennifer said...

I woke up smiling

:)

daveX99 said...

Hmmmm. Perhaps you should never go to sleep. Ever.

M. Bouffant said...

Is it now all poop, all the time here?

I'll admit that in this case, I cannot account for any movements, but I am not responsible.

One morning, M. Bouffant was awakened by the digital chirping of his alarm clock, only to discover he had been transmogrified into an overweight wage-slave. — Paraphrase of an earlier literary effort.

How'd you know it was "me" in your dream anyway?

Last but not least: If you continue to have dreams, you are NOT SMOKING ENOUGH DOPE!

M. Bouffant said...

Couldn't find the Lydia Lunch version of "I Woke Up Screaming," but this is geo-appropriate.

Substance McGravitas said...

Oh Christ, there's an ex in that video. NO POOP FOR YOU!

Smut Clyde said...

Hmmmm. Perhaps you should never go to sleep. Ever.
This keeps you safe from the clowns but there are side-effects.

Rusty Shackleford said...

Only a Canadian could make "Sieg heil, motherfuckers" sound like friendly hello.

J— said...

Oh Christ, there's an ex in that video.

How about in this one?

Substance McGravitas said...

That one ROCKS.

M. Bouffant said...

NO POOP FOR YOU!

[wipes brow, "whews"]